I thought this might make for an interesting late night discussion. The alternatiive diary title was "Movies That Make No Damn Sense", but I thought that may be too limiting. As a criteria for what I'm talking about, let's take Dirty Dancing as an example of a guilty pleasure.
The movie "works" for what it is, but it also has a plot you could drive a truck through if you sit down & analyze it. Baby has to be anywhere between 16-18, and Johnny is what? Late 20s, early 30s? Now Baby's dad gets pissed when he finds out Baby has used his money to get Johnny's ex-girlfriend an abortion, and that Johnny has been screwing his teenage daughter while teaching her to dance. However, don't fear all will be forgiven. Jerry Orbach doesn't give a shit anymore that the 30-year-old dance instructor has spent the summer diddling his teenage daughter, after Johnny & Baby dance & he lifts her like a swan.
Some more films that are so bad, but oh so good......
The Legend Of Billie Jean
Billie Jean: As for you Mr. Pyatt, you are so sleazy! You think that you can get away with anything because what are we, just a bunch of kids! Well not THIS time. Six hundred dollars for the motoscooter your son trashed! That's what you owe and we're not turning ourselves in until you pay! Fair is fair! We didn't start this! We didn't mean for it to happen but we're not giving up until you pay! FAIR IS FAIR!
Yes, America. Kids are not going to protest & start a movement over Iraq, but they will over $608 worth of damage to a scooter, while Pat Benatar sings "Invincible". You have to love the 80s. Fair is Fair!!!
Road House
Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.
A movie about a bar bouncer. Excuse me, not a bouncer, a professional "cooler". Unlike the 300 pound biker/football players that I see at most clubs, he's the philosopher's bar bouncer. He's reading Nietzsche & doing Tai Chi in the morning.
Of course, there's an evil rich asshole that wants to cause trouble, a couple of blondes that get nude, and things exploding too....
The Last Dragon
Sho’Nuff: Am I the meanest?
Gang: Sho’Nuff!
Sho’Nuff: Am I the prettiest?
Gang: Sho’Nuff!
Sho’Nuff: Am I the baddest mo-fo, low-down, around this town?
Gang: Sho’Nuff!
Sho’Nuff: Well, who am I?
Gang: Sho’Nuff!
Sho’Nuff: Who am I?
Gang: Sho’Nuff!
Sho’Nuff: I can’t hear you!
Gang: Sho’Nuff!
Sho’Nuff: The Shogun of Harlem!
This is the tale of Leroy Brown & his battle against the forces of evil, and his search for the one true Master.....
Flash Gordon
Emperor Ming: Every thousand years, I test each life system in the Universe. I visit it with mysteries, earthquakes, unpredicted eclipses, strange craters in the wilderness... If these are takes as natural, I judge that system ignorant and harmless - I spare it. But if the Hand of Ming is recognized in these events, I judge that system dangerous to us. I call upon the great god Dyzan, and for his greater glory...
[leans forward, smiling]
Emperor Ming: ...and for our mutual pleasure...
[leans back again]
Emperor Ming: ...I destroy it utterly.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: You're saying... it's my fault the Earth is being destroyed?
Emperor Ming: [grinning] Precisely... Doctor!
Max von Sydow does Ming & high camp is abound, but somehow the Queen soundtrack makes it all work.....
Mommie Dearest
[addressing the men in the Pepsi boardroom]
Joan Crawford: Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
Was it true? Was Joan Crawford the monster that Faye Dunaway plays in this movie? Who the hell knows? All I can say is that they produced a movie that is so over the top that it became a high camp classic. Exhibit A is the infamous "wire hanger" scene.....