We had another blogospheric suicide (GBCW diary) yesterday that made me nostalgic for some of the greats in dkos history.
After noticing that we have 149 diaries that share the tag GBCW, I thought I might as well go through and see what they all have in common as well as what makes the greats (in my opinion) stand out.
To be fair, I'm not the first to attempt this. Hprof is the first one i could find, all the way back in 2005. But what he didn't have then are 2 years of statistics easily obtained through the tag system! But note, I'm not REALLY going to read through all of them. I'll just skim through for highlights.
First Criteria: Be offended.
This really goes without saying. If you're not offended you're probably not going to leave dKos, and even less likely to do so in a hissy fit. These can range from the mundane (you didn't like my diaries enough) to reasonable (Kos is an arrogant, insensitive asswipe and I'll get my politics elsewhere).
Second Criteria: Burn your Bridges (His britches? No, his bridge game.)
The second feature of a true gbcw diary is that the diarist must make sweeping generalizations of a community that ranges from ~47,000 to over 120,000 in the scope of the diaries tagged. These can "wax poetic:"
You people are not informed, you don't have a scintilla of knowledge about economics and with all the cunning linguists on here, you say nothing and accomplish nothing.
or be excruciatingly blunt:
You all suck. A lot of you wouldn't know what a progressive thought was if it bit you in the ass.
Third Criteria: DELETE MY FUCKING ACCOUNT!
All true gbcw diaries must feature a request or reference to account deletion in the body of the diary. ErrinF had the most memorable and spawned her own format of diary title, but she was far from the first.
Fortunately, Kos said this in 2005:
I don't delete accounts (4.00 / 14)
Sorry to those who wish otherwise, but all accounts (other than a minority of REALLY BAD trolls) are here for ever and ever.
So, feel free to ask (and tell us you asked), but it will just make us laugh at you more as the door smacks your ass on the way out.
jmgotham actually asked for help, but this was after ErrinF when people (hopefully) FINALLY learned that come hell or high water, Kos won't delete.
Actually, I need some help ending it. I need you to troll rate me to death.
What Makes a GBCW Diary Stand Out
The really good ones have something 'extra' that sets them apart from the pack, and we've had some doozies here at dkos.
greyfox manages to take care of all of the above in two sentences:
Whoever is in charge of deleting accounts, delete mine. I'm not coming back to this spawning pool of hate.
Or, you could pimp your GBCW diary in an open thread, such as Gabriel Fuentes did in 2005.
You could write your GBCW 17 days after registering (first comment March 14, 2007, last comment/gbcw diary Marhc 30, 2005), such as jeremymc.
You could take the obnoxiousness and righteous indignation found in most GBCW diaries to an uncharted level, such as ErrinF.
One person has two GBCW diaries four days apart. Good Job sylviesolze!
jeremymc is also the only GBCW to get an encore posting (Thanks DHinMI!).
There are several snarky GBCW diaries (Armando, MrHinkyDink, and cskendrick, are three).
I should also add that there are several real and unfortunate GBCW diaries that don't do any of this and this isn't meant to demean them (hence their not being mentioned).
Update [2007-5-30 10:59:52 by guyermo]:
I forgot the most important part! The comments!!! What truly makes a GBCW stand out are the comments and recipes that get posted in it. Some of our current and former front-pagers might find some mild embarrassment in these diaries, but Gabriel Fuentes's essay has some of the best graphic responses I've seen.