Today the New York Times shared with us Sam Brownback's "What I Think About Evolution" (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/31/opinion/31brownback.html?_r=1&oref=slogin). Aside from reminding us of the etymology of the word "cretin", this article creates opportunities for a whole new Republican school curriculum. Let's start the new curriculum with "What I Think About Mathematics" by Sam Brownback (after the jump).
"What I Think About Mathematics" by Sen. Sam Brownback:
At the recent Republican Presidential debate, I declined to raise my hand when the moderator asked whether the candidates all believe that one plus one equals two. I believe that such a reductionist, materialistic, deterministic position is inconsistent with a truly American faith-based approach to mathematics. I thought it was important to be able to explain my views further.
Sometimes in a Christian context, the one (God) equals three (Father, Son and Holy Ghost). And sometimes, when discussing women, the one (pregnancy) equals three (trimesters, in all of which abortion should be illegal). So as a result, one plus one may equal four, or as many as six. Not that I am in any way condoning moral relativism: there is always a single right answer to the question what does one plus one equal. It's just that depending on the context, the answer may be two, four or six. It was for this reason that I could not raise my hand to agree that one plus one equals two.
This would be an appropriate time for me to announce a new campaign proposal about mathematics: the return of Roman numerals. Roman numerals were in use when our saviour lived, so they should be good enough for us today. Hindu-Arabic numerals represent a dramatic break from the Judeo-Christian culture on which our American society is based, and can only encourage the rise of paganism and terrorist attacks. Moreover, the use of the zero (which does not exist in Roman numerals), is a deterministic, materialistic concept which represents and encourages unbelief. Plus, I hate it when people use "zero" in reference to my IQ, or may chances of becoming President.