Well, first off you'd have to get used to the rules of golf being changed at a whim...but, heh, that's not too removed from the everyday golfer...but methinks in this case the deception would not stop at simple improving of lies...(wait a minute...that's what they DO every day)...I'm dead...
follow me across the fold:
Hole 1: Dogleg left: 150 yards to the dogleg. Dubya hits it out of bounds right and says he didn't. Claims it was in the middle of the fairway. There was no way...but a ball was there, "decider" he proclaimed, under his breath, after we walked to our balls.
Hole 2: Straight away par 5 about 490 yards, he hits it into the bunker on the right, everyone sees the sand splash, these are beautiful sights when your opponent hits one, and he says the splash was just a splurge. What the heck is that? This guy is deranged, we are starting to realize.
Hole 3: Dogleg right about 380 yards, he tops it, and claims that a bird flew across his path and he should get a free shot. Before anyone can concur or have an opinion, he tees up a second ball immediately (also improper golf etiquette) and proceeds to put it into the left rough, claiming he's lying one. Funny, he just did lie one (or was it two?).
Hole 4: Elevated tee to a par 3, about 120 yards away. He hits a decent shot to the green above the pin about 20 feet. He plays out of turn, but everybody just sort of "looks" at each other. Misses the putt, and the next putt, but claims that was a "gimme" and takes the lesser number of strokes.
Hole 5: Par 4 dogleg left with elevated fairway from the tee. He hits a screaming slice and can't find the ball. Takes his next shot and puts it on the green, says he's lying two. He makes a two putt and reports a par. Oh well, what are you going to do?
Hole 6: Another short par 3 about 140 yards on an elevated tee. He tops it and proclaimed that he didn't have to abide by the "topping rule" that he could hit again, which he did, and quickly hit it in the trap on the left. Of course, he was lying two at that point, he said.
Hole 7: A long par 5, pretty much straight away and slightly downhill. He pulled it into the trees on the left, which bordered the river, and proclaimed that the out of bounds had been changed in a signing statement, allowing him a free drop and a lie of two, after the drop...sheesh, it's going to be hard to beat this guy...
Hole 8: A moderate 350 yard par 4 uphill dogleg left. He hits it down the left side of the fairway, turns to us with that silly grin, and says he didn't mean to "go left", and then laughs in a silly manner.
Hole 9: Contour shaped 320 yard par 4 slightly downhill. He hits a screaming slice to the adjoining fairway and takes his second shot out of turn with the players on that tee box. After getting yelled at by the players on that tee, he comes over to me and tells me how rude the players are at this club.
Ssid he had important business to attend to, couldn't play the back nine, he had to leave...what a shame, I thought...