This is not a hit diary, but your candidate is the worst human on Earth.
Your candidate is Bush-Cheney-lite, and very naive. Republicans want your candidate to become the nominee. Hitler probably would, too.
Your candidate means fire and brimstone coming down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling, forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together - just mass hysteria.
On the other hand, inversely, my candidate is the best human on Earth. Only my candidate is qualified to be President.
My candidate can offer national unity and sensible programs.
Young people love my candidate. Retirees love my candidate. Puppies love my candidate.
My candidate admits that voting for the Iraq occupation was a mistake...or they never voted on the resolution in the first place. Maybe they weren't even in Congress. I don't remember, but it's one of those.
My candidate is dedicated to alleviating poverty and strengthening the middle class. Frequent visits will be taken to Sherwood Forest, where money will be taken from the rich and given to the poor. Whatever is left will be given as tax breaks for middle class Americans.
Osama bin Laden will be personally hunted down by my candidate and taken out, Rambo style. No invasion of any country will be necessary, except for a clean-up crew.
Abortions for some, and miniature American flags for others, will be provided.
My candidate once pulled a toddler out of the path of a speeding car, and pushed a criminal in front of it.
There once was a man from Nantucket, who donated money to my candidate. He felt better for doing so.
But most importantly, my candidate offers this: a level of awesomeness so great that I can be rude and condescending to anyone who doesn't support them. I am allowed to use any slight disagreement to insult the candidate and their supporters. It doesn't matter how intelligent or passionate your candidate truly is, or how much our candidates actually agree on the issues. My ability to comprehend information is so much higher than yours that you can't possibly be supporting a progressive candidate. If you recognize the virtues of someone other than my candidate, then you are a DLC Vichy Dem and must be burned at the stake.
So when you are sealed in the voting cubicle, vote for my candidate. Or else you're an idiot and obviously enjoy The O'Reilly Factor.