I am overcome with sadness. Karl Rove is leaving the West Wing. How will we ever survive? More to the point, how will George W. Bush survive? Can Cheney keep all those puppet strings hopping on his own? Who will point Bush towards the right door, straighten his tie, put the proper manipulative words in his mouth, wipe his ass with their nose? Alright, there's probably a line already forming for that one. Nevertheless, it brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.
For fourteen years the man that Bush dubbed "the architect" and "boy genius" has been making sure that our Unitary Executive has been pressed and polished and putting one drunken foot in front of the other. He's kept Bush on message despite Bush's propensity for malapropisms (there's only so much you can do with the scanty material you've been given, after all) by crafting it himself and then carefully spoonfeeding it to him day after day after bloody fucking day. The protegy of Lee Atwater has lied and cheated and manipulated Commander Codpiece into the most powerful position in the world and revelled in the vicarious glory that comes with that power. And now suddenly, out of the blue, he's gone. Why? (Cue violins and begin rending garments now.) For Godssake, WHY?
Sorry kids, I have no answers. You will find no pithy commentary here from me, no links to real answers, no educated guesses as to what has brought about this earthshattering event. Part of me wants to dance the dance of joyous triumph, to scream and cry and thank the good Lord that such evil will leave the building and go back to hell (sorry Texas) where he belongs. The other part is suspicious and wonders just what evil is now afoot, what horrendous, monstrous, unthinkable shoe will be dropping to crush us and our hopes for the return of the rule of law, our precious liberties, and the Constitution to its rightful place. But I refuse to speculate now, I can only survey the horror of the past six years and hope that this is the good sign I hope for and not the bad sign I fear.
What I will reflect on is the glorious irony of a man who has been labelled "Bush's Brain" being given the inglorious name of Turdblossom. This has given a whole new dimension to referring to Bush as having "shit for brains". I mean, if this is the man that actually puts the words in Bush's mouth and Bush has the poor judgment to give him the nickname "Turdblossom", what other conclusion could be drawn from it? Bush, literally, has shit for brains. We always knew that, of course, because it's been no secret that Bush has had his head up his own ass. But now, finally, Bush has shit his brains out. Out of the White House, out of Washington, and hopefully (please, please, please) out of our lives. The only thing better is if he shits him straight into the penitentiary.
Of course, Turdblossom may be gone, but the stench will linger on. Bush will continue to fart out his platitudes, his fearmongering, the fumes of his divisive politics. And no doubt Turdblossom will still be available for insertion of a few suppositories of rancor and discord. But at least he won't be stinking up the corridors of the White House, OUR White House, with his foul words and deeds.
This is a crude diatribe, of course, but then someone called Turdblossom deserves nothing less. John Edwards said it eloquently when he said, "Goodbye, good riddance." But I think, in this instance, I prefer how we say it down in my neck of the woods.
Shit goin' in, Shit comin' out!!!