Hello, and welcome to An Intimate Evening with Bill in Portland Maine.
Many of you know me from my Koufax Award-winning series, Cheers and Jeers, which runs exclusively on Daily Kos and is never "cross-posted at..." Others know me from my hard-hitting journalism, such as last year's fart-off between Joe Lieberman and Ned Lamont. (Memo to future journalists: whatever you do, don’t drop a Pulitzer on your cat unless you have a jumbo Swiffer™ in the house.)
This evening, I want to know you...as long as it eventually circles back to knowing me.
For the next hour, I'll be taking your questions about any topic you choose. Money. Politics. Sex. Politicians having sex for money. Nuclear armageddon. Horse race tips. Horse sex tips. What really resides under Fred Thompson's chins. You name it.
Why am I doing this? Simple. I want to be your favorite non-contributing-editor front-pager on the world's #1 blog, and I'm willing to walk among you in the diaries with an open heart, a giving mind, and a 12-ounce bottle of Purell™ Hand Sanitizer if it means I'll accomplish that.
So, please...share with me your thoughts and concerns. I'm here to enlighten you. I think you'll find that An Intimate Evening with Bill in Portland Maine will be nothing less than "groovy." By which I mean the strict German interpretation of the word: harsh and regimental and cabbage-based.
My fashizzle is your fashizzle. Let us begin.