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There is simply no way that this can be real.

I’ve said all along that no one who talks like John Edwards will ever be elected president. His Southern accent has none of the patrician appeal of a Fred Thompson or a Sam Ervin or a Fritz Hollings. It’s annoying and grating, like Jimmy Carter’s. But more annoying than his accent is his habit of talking with his eyes closed. The image below is from his appearance on the LiveStrong Presidential Cancer Forum on Aug. 27. And, no, this is not just a quick eye blink. He’ll talk like this for several seconds. It’s just creepy. I’m just sayin’.

Okay, which one of you hacked into JLF's blog and posted this? There is simply no way this is real; even Art Pope's simple Randroids aren't this dumb. Analysis after the jump.

This is Kaufmanesque dadaism at its best. I don't even know where to start with this, seeing as how the premise is so bloody stupid. The premise is that John Edwards' accent is too annoying for him to be elected president. In order to back up this claim, he points out that his accent is 'annoying' and 'grating' like the 39th president of the United States, Jimmy Carter, who was also never elected president. He also uses the equally strong argument that Edwards' accent "lacks the patrician appeal" of those of President Fred Thompson (That was a movie, Jon) President Sam Ervin, and President Fritz Hollings.

Does Artie read the shit he's paying for? He should seriously consider a refund.

Update: There are literally millions of people with 'annoying and grating' accents on the planet.  All he had to do to avoid sounding stupid was pick someone with an 'annoying and grating' accent who wasn't ever elected president of the United States and he failed at that.  That's like saying Daniel Craig could never play James Bond because he's not Scottish, like Pierce Brosnan.  Or that Johan Santana will never win the MVP because he's a pitcher, like Roger Clemens.

Crossposted at my blog, The Midpoint.

Originally posted to Cangrejero on Fri Sep 07, 2007 at 11:19 AM PDT.

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