It's gratifying to see the fruits of our labors last year for the elections finally yielding the ingredients to delicious, heaping Pies of Freedom. The Democrats have done wonders to bring efficiency back into a government that was plagued with incompetence.
We need to realize just how valuable this sort of efficiency is and how it will benefit us in the long run.
Let's take some examples. Firstly, let's take a look at the failed Webb amendment.
Democrats were reeling after failing to pass legislation Wednesday by Sen. Jim Webb, D-Va., that would have required active-duty troops to spend as much time at home as they do in combat. The 56-44 vote fell short of the 60 votes needed to cut off a GOP filibuster.
The efficiency is in the details that didn't seem to make the editor's cut in that article. The Senate had agreed by unanimous consent that in order for the bill to pass, it would require 60 votes, the number of votes needed to override a filibuster.
The amount of efficiency packed into that little agreement is magnificent. Instead of spending all that time and effort in making the Republicans filibuster Webb's amendment (which would allow troops to have the same amount of "resting time" as they have "combat time"), they skipped all that crap and moved right into failure.
Imagine all the effort that would have been born if the Senate hadn't made that agreement: the bill would have had enough votes to pass, so the Republicans would have had to filibuster. Standing, talking, talking, talking, talking, standing, saying things, words coming out of the mouth hole, all that stuff. Republicans would have had to defend their position, requiring more talking and possibly some written memos and press releases. ALL THAT WORK. Jesus, I'm tired just thinking about it.
Instead, the Senate Democrats shrewdly agreed to streamline the failure and just fuck up as quickly as possible. It's truly the sort of efficiency that I hoped the Democrats would bring to Congress when I donated more money than was sensible last year, as did many of you.
But that's not the only example! Let's bring something back from the past when Senator Russ Feingold visited us to discuss impeachment:
I believe that the President and Vice President may well have committed impeachable offenses. But with so many important issues facing this country and so much work to be done, I am concerned about the great deal of time multiple impeachment trials would take away from the Congress working on the problems of the country. The time it would take for the House to consider articles of impeachment, and for the Senate to conduct multiple trials, would make it very difficult, if not impossible, for Congress to do what it was elected to do – end the war and address some of the other terrible mistakes this Administration has made over the past six and a half years.
Fantastic! Instead of spending time and energy, let's instead...not spend time and energy! A monument to efficiency.
Also in that excerpt is a bit of foreshadowing. Towards the end, Feingold states that Congress was elected to end the war and address the Administration's mistakes. That was about three months ago, and guess what? Congress hasn't done any of that either! But in truth, that would take a lot of time and energy, far more than just failing and capitulating. Think of all the endless speeches and press releases ending the war would require. Instead, the Democrats have been dedicated to being completely pointless and thus have brought more efficiency our way.
One final example, because more than that might make we want to hurt myself.
From the same article that spoke about the Webb amendment (even Yahoo! News is taking lessons in efficiency from the Democrats; two important articles smashed into one! It's like those jars of peanut butter and jelly already mixed together!), the Senate condemned an ad by MoveOn.org:
The 72-25 vote condemned the full-page ad that appeared in The New York Times last week as Gen. David Petraeus, the top military commander in Iraq, testified on Capitol Hill. The ad was headlined: "General Petraeus or General Betray Us? Cooking the books for the White House."
Why bother defending the ad and the truth of the ad when it's so much easier to just roll over and agree with the Republicans? Democrats would have to answer questions, defend their positions, defend their agreement, probably write some stuff down. By refusing to do any of that, it allowed them to focus on the work that really matters:
Writing emails asking for money.
So, I'd like to end this with a heartfelt "Thank you" to the Democrats. You are all truly a shining example of what an efficient government looks like, and we certainly won't forget how it looks when the next elections roll around.