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A friend of mine attended a conference last week at Harvard, the purpose of which was to revisit the conclusions of what is known among social scientists and policymakers as The Moynihan Report, written by prominent sociologist, Democrat, and Senator (D-NY) Daniel Patrick Moynihan; its official title is "The Negro Family: The Case for National Action."

The Moynihan Report was written in 1965, when Moynihan was an assistant Secretary of Labor in the Johnson administration. Moynihan's two most prominent findings were that the high unemployment rate for black men was a primary cause of homelessness and family instability in the black community, and that government intervention was necessary to alleviate this problem before the already rising rate of single motherhood in the black community led to the complete dissolution of the traditional family within the black community.

And at this conference, BushCo domestic policy advisor Karl Zinsmeister said something particularly stupid: claiming that strengthening the institution of marriage (of a heterosexual variety, of course) can cure all the ills of society, he argued that the causal mechanism that makes marriage so important is that it "harnesses the nuclear reactor of male sexual energy."

That's right -- crime, drugs, war, teen pregnancy, healthcare, Social Security, the dismal performance of our public education system, our national infrastructure crisis, poverty, our reliance on foreign oil, the immigration debate, Yankees vs. Red Sox, etc. -- all these problems can be solved by the power of the penis.

Now, I assume that the president's domestic policy advisor, when speaking about public policy, speaks with the voice of the president. So it seems that it is the official policy of the federal government of the United States of America that unless we concentrate our efforts not on all these other social problems but on strengthening the kind of marriage advocated by the most narrowminded bigots in our society while denying equality to all others, we will be condemning our children and our children's children to such calamities as tainted groundwater for generations, unusual cancer clusters, peeling the paint off our houses and giving our families permanent orange afros (thanks, Ghostbusters), and, of course, instantaneously vaporizing every living thing within 5 miles of every unmarried male in the world.

Indeed, Karl Zinsmeister has discovered the WMD, and they are located at approximately waist-high on the frontside of over a billion people all over the world!

As a social scientist, I could go into the many, many ways Zinsmeister's reductionist thinking makes about as much sense as, say, arguing that screwing over children is actually good for children, as Bill Kristol recently did...

...but I won't. I'll just assume that if you're reading this, you already know.

But as a man? As a man, I find this idea insane and insulting. The institution of marriage didn't stop Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Newt Gingrich, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Tom DeLay, Bob Dole, or countless other prominent Republican defenders of "traditional family values" from launching their apparently nuclear missiles by engaging (or attempting to engage) in adultery. And being unmarried doesn't make countless millions of ordinary, every-day American men who happen to be unmarried behave like the boors, ignoramuses, and bigots our Republican leaders apparently expect them to be.

We're not all the drunken, high-on-coke, stereotypical frat boy, idiotic assholes George W. Bush was when he was single and still is today.

Dear Republicans, trolls, and idiots who happened to stumble upon this site, there is a certain matter that you like to bloviate about frequently, but which you fail to live up to oh so often. The Democrats here know what I'm talking about: it's personal responsibility. You see, up here in the big leagues -- that's the "real world" for you denizens of the BushCo Bubble -- we like to practice a little thing we call "self control." We are not idiots and we are not feral animals. We can control our basest urges. And we tend to behave far more morally -- however you want to define that -- than the self-righteous hypocrites who pontificate about morality in the halls of power.

I met my fiancee back in 1996. We started dating shortly after that, and we've been together ever since. We just got engaged in August. We are completely devoted to each other and have been for a very long time, regardless of whether our relationship has been sanctified by any religious or civil authority. And all that would be true regardless of whether or not the "nuclear reactor" of my sexuality is ever brought on-line -- which is none of your damn business anyway!

Originally posted to וויסקמס on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 12:36 PM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Just a few thoughts... (20+ / 0-)

    ...about the audacity of these nitwits.

    Just as my fiancee marches and shouts at the government to keep its grubby hands off her body, it's my turn now.

    •  "the nuclear reactor of male sexual energy"...... (14+ / 0-)

      :::sound of my jaw smacking the desk:::  This calls for a joke I received this morning from my daughter.  At the time I thought it was a little on the harsh side toward men, but I will make an exception for Mr. Nuclear Reactor Penis Man.  I think he deserves this:

      Dusty Underwear

      One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his
      wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe
      it would take a few inches off of your butt!!"

      His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't
      let such a comment go unrewarded.

      The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his
      drawer. "What the Hell is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust"
      cloud appeared when he shook them out.
      "April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum
      powder in my underwear?"
      She replied with a snicker...
      "It's not talcum powder......
      It's 'Miracle Grow'."

      Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

      by Cronesense on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 12:40:44 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I wonder if that explains... (9+ / 0-)

        ...why my fiancee gets all the spam promising penile enlargement, while I get all the spam promising breast enhancement -- the spammers intentionally target the wrong gender!

        •  Found this in WIKI about the charming Mr, Z...... (8+ / 0-)

          From Wikipedia

          Karl Zinsmeister (born 1959) was appointed by U.S. President George W. Bush in June 2006 to serve as Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy and director of the Domestic Policy Council. Zinsmeister lives in rural upstate New York with his wife and three children.
          Zinsmeister is a graduate of Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut and has also studied history as a special student at Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland. He won college rowing championships in both the U.S. and Ireland. His first job in Washington was as a legislative assistant to U.S. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, a New York Democrat. He was later the J. B. Fuqua Fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, a prominent conservative Washington DC think tank, where he researched a range of topics extending from social welfare and demographics to economics and cultural trends.
          Before becoming the White House Domestic Policy Adviser, he was Editor in Chief from 1994 to 2006 of The American Enterprise, a national magazine covering politics, business, and culture.[1] He wrote many articles for that publication, and reported stories from around the U.S. and the globe, on topics like religion and politics, the European economy, new oil drilling techniques coming on line in Alaska, suburban neighborhood design, and Wall Street financial innovations. His writing was also published in periodicals ranging from The Atlantic Monthly to Reader's Digest and the Wall Street Journal.
          Zinsmeister was an embedded journalist during the 2003 invasion of Iraq, and then served three subsequent months-long embeddings with combat units during the insurgency stage of the war. He shot a documentary film about soldiers in Iraq, called "WARRIORS", which was nationally broadcast byPBS. He wrote three books of Iraq reporting: Boots on the Ground: A Month with the 82nd Airborne in the Battle for Iraq, Dawn Over Baghdad: How the U.S. Military is Using Bullets and Ballots to Remake Iraq, and Combat Zone: True Tales of G.I.s in Iraq (a non-fiction graphic novel from Marvel Comics). He edited a book on world population trends, and edited and contributed to a collection of non-fiction short stories.[1] [2] [3]
          Since his appointment, news reports indicate, Zinsmeister has been active in policymaking on topics like immigration reform, new stem cell policies, education, transportation, faith-based issues, crime, law & justice, and veterans’ affairs.[4] [5] [6]
          His appointment to the White House was the source of some controversy. In 2004, Zinsmeister posted to the American Enterprise Institute website an article from the Syracuse New Times about himself. In the process, he also altered a previous statement attributed to him in which he had said that "people in Washington are morally repugnant, cheating, shifty human beings." He subsequently admitted that it was "foolish" to do so, but claimed that he did so to correct the record without criticizing the mistakes of a young journalist.[3] This resulted in a heated exchange between White House press secretary Tony Snow and longtime White House correspondent Helen Thomas.[7]
          Later in 2006, the New York Sun reported that Zinsmeister may have run afoul of the Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 while editing The American Enterprise by taking out advertisements that sought "young" applicants. Further, Zinsmeister used a pseudonym – belonging to the long-dead British writer Gilbert K. Chesterton – in some of the ads.[8]

          And the ever-fawning Mona Charen had this to say about the pick:

          Reports of the president's lame duckness may have been exaggerated. By choosing first Tony Snow as spokesman, and now Karl Zinsmeister as domestic policy adviser, George Bush has demonstrated that he is far from lame, and may even be frisky.


          She must be great pals with Fred Barnes!

          Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

          by Cronesense on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 01:05:11 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      •  Nuclear Reactor of Male Sexual Energy (4+ / 0-)

        Now wonder the Bushies are so convinced the Iranians are close to producing a nuclear bomb. That Mahmoud Ahmedinejad is one burning hunk of sexual fissile material!

        "You are seeing impeachment as a constitutional crisis. Impeachment is the cure for a constitutional crisis." -- John Nichols

        by litigatormom on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 01:53:09 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  projection (4+ / 0-)

      These Rs are so deep into the projection defense they don't even know it when they see it.  

      The whole "defense of marriage" thing is projection on the part of "I'm Not Gay" types who know deep in their heart that if it's legal, their minds may wander to what they're really thinking.

      And that "nuclear reactor" analogy is also playing to the old stereotype of black men being dangerously oversexed.  And oh yes, let's strengthen marriage so they don't go after white women.  Barf.

  •  Hey, it worked for Larry Craig, didn't it? (7+ / 0-)

    Oh.....maybe not.

    "I am my brother's keeper. I am a Democrat." -- That's your slogan, Democrats.

    by Bensdad on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 12:41:07 PM PDT

  •  Take a cold shower, ZInzmeister (5+ / 0-)
    And after that, pray for deliverance from your sexual  urges.

    "I'll rant as well as thou."--Hamlet, Act V, Scene 1.

    by Dump Terry McAuliffe on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 12:49:31 PM PDT

  •  Funny thing is, I agree, in a way (5+ / 0-)

    Healthy sexual release is essential for male AND FEMALE happiness and productivity.
    Where I differ is over  is on the value of rules which make it more difficult to achieve this aim is silly.
    Marriage has many values, and I'm told a good sex life can be a part of a good marriage. However, my good friend David Vitter tells me that sometimes you just need sex, and then a man's gotta a do what  a man's got ta do.

  •  My personal nuclear reactor... (4+ / 0-) in near meltdown.

    Fear will keep the local systems in line. -Grand Moff Tarkin Survivor Left Blogistan

    by boran2 on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 01:19:29 PM PDT

  •  Tying the knot (3+ / 0-)

    I met my fiance in a pagan chatroom on Yahoo in 2000.  We have been together since the summer of 2001.  Next summer, we're having a beach party to make it a legal thing.  

    Sanction should really be irrelevent.  Is there a family unit or not; that is really the only question.  

    "Family values party", my white ass!

    We're all just monkeys burning in hell.

    by smokeymonkey on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 01:52:22 PM PDT

  •  Balls w/o brains? n/t (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
  •  This makes it even more apparent (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    wiscmass, trashablanca, stonemason

    how much the Christian religious right have in common with Muslims.  That's why Muslim women are supposed to cover up.  They don't want those uncontrollable reactors to have any fuel.  What a load of crap!

    "We told the truth. We obeyed the law. We kept the peace." - Walter Mondale

    by luckylizard on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 02:54:50 PM PDT

  •  Embedded reporter. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    People like Mr.Z can't get enough of it. They are thrilled nearly to death over all the excitement.
    Except for the serious rowing, he would be just another jock sniffing war fan.

    All that male musky scent some of the pundits swoon over.

    Moynihan's study was panned in its day,but he warned policies and funding that made it impossible to sustain and hold together poor working families was a national disaster. And that at a time when a small proportion of babies were out of wedlock. Now it is approaching 70, 80 % in many communities.

    A confused inadequate counselling and foolish abstinence plan that does not work, and ignoring the role of government in all this both positive and negative in favor of wingnuttery and ideology.

    He is a loser from Upstate NY, an area that actually used to produce many good thinkers,from abolition to social programs, to inventions and  forward looking politics.

    Mr. Zero.

    America has been stolen, your citizenship is a hollow fraud, and you have no power. What will YOU do to reverse these hurts, crimes, outrages?

    by Pete Rock on Mon Oct 01, 2007 at 08:53:10 PM PDT

  •  My brother, a psychologist with a degree (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    from an Ivy League university, seriously argued with me once that he believes in the penis scale of relationships.  He believes that the more penises present in a sexual relationship, the more sex there is.  Thus he believes that gay male relationships involve the most frequent sexual activity, because there are two penises; heterosexual activities average middle-range sexual frequency because there is only one penis; and lesbian relationships have the least sex because there are no penises.

    I am a lesbian and told him he was full of hogwash.  And he replied, with absolutely sincere, bizarro-brainwashed penis-power-blinded eyes, "but it's a FACT!"

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