My mom passed away last Friday and it's been a maelstrom of emotion since then. We - sons, sisters, grandchildren, friends - spent last week going through her small 2-bedroom apartment. If you haven't had to do this then I can't describe the pain in knowing that someone you love so deeply is gone - forever. It makes me cry just to say it; I'm not done crying, I'm sure.
It's impossible to go into how much my mom meant to me so I won't try. I am what I am because of her. Last week before I left I shared this with those close to the campaign. These words are a small view of what she has done for me and how this community has helped me give her two fantastic gifts - pride and happiness. You all have helped me give her both.
Today my mom passed away. My first instinct was to retreat into my family just as I did when my son was in the hospital last Thanksgiving. After talking with my brother, Al, and remembering her last days I thought I wanted to share this with you. Al said and I saw that these past months she was happier than she had been in years.
There were several reasons for this but my run for Congress was responsible for much of it. She saw it as the crowning glory on her life. Al said that she literally beamed to anyone and everyone "My son is running for Congress" and often added with a chuckle "Where did I go wrong".
When I first told her I was running I said that she was largely responsible for my willingness to fight for what I believe in regardless of the consequences. I still remember times when I was a child and hearing her on the phone giving the mayor of our home town a dressing down for one thing or another, the phone calls to the White House or Congress wanting to give someone a piece of her mind. There were more than a few letters to the editor on one issue or another.
My mom was a fighter and she passed that on to me more than any of my brothers. (Edit: they have the fight in different ways and my youngest brother Mike is now starting to get involved in a political fight. Someone's in trouble.) Daily Kos gave me an outlet to make my voice heard but it was all of you who gave me the chance to take the fight to the next level. Each and every one of you played a big part in so many ways to help me make the decision to run. I never would’ve done it had you not been there with material help and emotional encouragement.
You have all played a role in making my mom’s last days better than she ever dreamed. I will miss her deeply and I wish I could have her here as we continue. I believe that her spirit will live in me and that she will be happy to watch it all unfold regardless of the outcome.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for this last gift to my mother.
While my run for Congress had given my mother an immense sense of pride, she saw all of her sons and grandchildren as the candle on her life.
But there was more. My mom served very proudly in the Navy Waves from July 13, 1944 through March 15, 1946.
I'd like to show you a few photographs of the many that she took from that era that we found which we never knew existed. The Waves trained at U.S. Naval Training Center, Women's Reserve, The Bronx, New York
Her job was in Washington DC processing returning serviceman. That location plus her job brought her in contact with a lot of guys. As we looked through the photos it was clear that mom had no shortage of guys around and she seemed to love it.
Are those Brits?
Here's one of her with dad (on the left) and another guy before dad became "the one".
From what he told me years ago and from what my mom said he was incredibly persistent. He knew what he wanted and didn't stop until he won her over. Here's one of them as newly weds.
I can imagine him being uncomfortable with her obvious delight. Those were different times.
For those of you have watched or are watching Ken Burn's master piece "The War" you know that millions of Americans joined in the war effort both in the service and in the service of industries supporting the war. Virtually the entire country was behind the effort and made the sacrifices necessary to win. Here's my mom's sister Ellen and a friend who were working in a factory in Pennsylvania. Not only is this picture now iconic to me it highlights the difference between The War and The Occupation.
Mom often spoke of President Roosevelt in near mythic terms. He was a legend then as he is now to any feeling American. Mom often spoke of him and his affect on America and Americans. Her respect and awe stayed with her through the years. Two points in time stuck out in her mind: one was when she was in the elevator with him and a secret service agent. She said he looked frail and that he nodded at her.
and the other was his funeral.
The last photo I scanned this image from is an 8" x 10". I don't know if she actually took it but I'm fairly sure she saw it. In any case, it doesn't matter because she had it on her wall through the years.
Since mom's commitment was for 2 years, after the war
she stayed on to continue processing the returning serviceman.
Here's a picture of her and a friend in the first civilian clothes after they got out.
They are so adorable.
Here's a couple of life after the war. Mom with me at her parents home in Turtle Creek, Pa.
A happy family at the beach in Virginia in I think is 1952 before my dad was stationed in Panama Canal Zone.
Mom was even active in Panama as part of a diaster response team. I still remember being part of the exercises where we got to lay around on the golf course pretending to have some sort of injury. The lucky ones got to go to the hospital on a helicopter.
There are many more pictures and a lot more to talk about but this period in my mom's life was so important to her. I've stopped before an equally monumental period after my dad left mom to take care of 4 boys aged 1, 8, 9, 10.
To this day when I think of her sometimes working 2 jobs before she got a job at the VA Hospital in Downey, Ill which she held for 22 years I cry that I couldn't make her life better then. I cry thinking of the Christmas when she couldn't afford any gifts and she somehow managed to find secondhand toys so that the tree wouldn't be bare. I cry thinking about her car crash after going down the wrong way of a one-way street at 1am as she returned from her job. I cry remembering the football-sized tumor they took from her stomach in her mid 30s and which almost took her life.
Through it all she never ever complained and never ever wished that things had been different. She just lived for her boys and later enjoyed her grandchildren. She knew what was important and long after her physical beauty left she still had this ability to be happy.
I learned so much from her and I will miss her deeply for a very long time. I don't know how much longer this immediate pain will be with me but I know that if she could she would tell me to just go do what I have to do and not worry about her.
That's easier said than done.