Utterly personal: colonoscopy story. With poll!
Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:41:45 AM PDT
I managed to sneak past 50, and past 51. But the stories posted by nyceve and drchelo and others convinced me that I was being childish, so I called my doctor and said "Hey, um...I need a colonoscopy."
"So you do!" he said, and scheduled one.
And here I am, with it all over, thank heaven! I thought I'd share my experience, because I am the biggest chicken on Earth, and if I can do it, so can you.
I asked for the prep with pills. My poor mom had Crohn's disease, and had to have tests of all kinds that required preps quite often. She struggled through the years of citrate of magnesia (she could never drink 7-Up again), of the tiny bottle of phospho-soda, of gallons of Go-Lytely, and was so grateful when they invented the pills.
(On the phospho-soda: I had to have a GI series some years ago. I was fighting that horrible stuff down, and Mr. escapee was being all big and bold and put a small touch of it on his tongue to show how he could do it. He vomited immediately, copiously. Hah.)
I did one stupid thing. If you have a prep with the pills, leave them in the bottle. I put them on the countertop in piles of four. Something in the air or the pills caused the salt to leach out of them. They were damp, and they tasted horrible. My own error. Leave the pills in the bottle!
Taking 32 pills is hard. But I did it. The cleanout is efficient and rather gentle - no explosions, just a need to visit the bathroom. No cramping at all. No nausea.
Then off to the surgical center, where they put me into the funniest thing you ever saw - a gown that hooked up to a hot-air vent in the wall. I felt like a teddy bear.
I'm very frightened of anesthesia. The anesthesiologist told me I'd be under for exactly as long as it took. He was right. I explained some things to the doctor about previous surgeries, the anesthesiologist told me "Here we go" and injected something into the catheter. I felt a rush, then a distinct taste, and then I was talking to my husband. Just like that.
No pain. Some gas - they do blow air into your colon - but it's evacuating quickly. I felt sorry for the other patients as the evalcuation went on. Nice for them. And now I'm home, polypless (they found two) and very, very relieved, full of fresh orange juice and a cinnamon bun.
So. If I can, you can. Come on, all you fifty-year-old chickens. It really isn't that bad. And you'll be relieved when it's over. I sure am.
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