Daily Kos

Musing on approaching first-time home ownership while approaching dotage.

Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 09:41:34 PM PDT

Yes, I know.  Some of you must be sitting on your typing fingers to resist pointing out the obvious -- that my title ignores the probability that I have already reached rather than am approaching my dotage.  But I sit here in puzzlement, my left arm throbbing from flu and pneumonia inoculations I received this morning, feeling like I may have a low grade fever.  And the chapter of my life I seem to be in bears no recognizable marks.  This is bewildering for someone as opinionated as I, and who has been living a very structured and purposefully planned routine for a very long time.

What the hell is this guy talking about?  Well, for the brave, or just insanely curious, here's an invitation to cross the jump.

For the past thirty-plus years, I have lived primarily in church-provided accommodations.  (Given how sparse they usually were, the word would look more appropriate with only one "c" and one "m," but I'm a priest, not a linguist.)  Actually, this has suited me very well.  I loved my work, setting up programs and marshaling resources to better equip people to break the grip of poverty.  Living close to them was convenient, and extremely educational.  Not living in a luxury which would have separated me from them even more than any geographical distance could... priceless.

But there were also very personal benefits.  In simplicity there is truly great freedom.  Owning very little reduces the number of trivial decisions one has to make (shall I microwave that or heat it up on the stove?). None of them amounts to much, but I bet if you started an inventory of every decision you made in the course of a single day, you'd be astounded before you even got to mid-morning.  It's sort of like when people ask me about whether or not I ever get tired of always wearing black.  I think there probably was a time when I would have liked to don something else -- anything but purple (sorry, clerical in-joke).  But there's something truly liberating in not having to decide which ensemble I'm going to sport on a given day.  And, it really cuts down on sorting laundry.

But you are probably getting impatient about what any of this has to do with home ownership.  So, despite the extent to which this truly goes against the tendency toward verbosity which runs down to the very core of my being, I'll cut to the chase.

A few years ago, I had to give up the inner-city mission work which meant so much to me for so long.  I have a chronic and degenerative medical condition which needed some long-term attention at the hands of physical terrorists therapists, and my mother, well into her 80's, was fighting the good fight to remain independent and in her own home.  Being the only one of my siblings who was in a position to just pack up and be near her (see -- that simplicity equals freedom thing really kicks in often), and since physical therapy is pretty much the same anywhere in the country, it made sense to head on back to my little hometown.  She and I could be resources to each other.

So, I took a small, modest apartment and embarked on an extended medical leave of absence.  Not having a formal pastoral assignment freed me to engage in more overt forms of partisan politics, I dabbled in some adjunct faculty gigs, and some writing and web design.  I was expecting it to last a couplea years, and if events had not played out this way, I probably wouldn't be here indulging myself on you with these musings.  Then, depending upon your point of view, either God's grand sense of humour came into play, the universe farted, or I reaped what I sowed by not taking better of care of myself earlier in life.  Whichever, I had a massive coronary, which definitely got my attention, and also served to indefinitely extend my leave of absence.

As you might guess, the stipend of a missionary priest is no way to build a huge nest egg for one's future.  There's a reason they call it a "vow of poverty."  Neither do the disability benefits rival those of a Fortune 500 company.  Good thing I learned simplicity... but even so, getting by from month to month has frequently required as much creativity as faith of late.

As it happens, my family still owns a large ranch homesteaded by our forebears over a century ago.  This year that perfect storm of silver-linings converged to create a bumper crop and exceptionally high wheat prices.  Yikes!  Income to shelter.  Even Providence can create inconveniences.  (Yes, I know... everything from ethynol programs to midwestern drought had more to do with this than any tinker by the Almighty in the affairs of men... but indulge me, okay?)

So, it is in everyone's best interest for my family to purchase a house, and sell it to me on a very favorable contract.  As I approach my sixth decade on this earth, I am about to become master of my own domain for the very first time in my life.  Heady stuff.

The fact that most of the people whom I have dealt with most intimately over the years, do not have families with resources to provide them a similar soft landing cannot help but cause a dyed-in-the-wool bleeding-heart-liberal and annoyingly confirmed do-gooder like me more than a little pause.  I don't deserve comfort and security any more than they.  Not only have I no inherent right to it, but I have not earned it by the "labor of my own hands."  Don't get me wrong.  I don't feel in the slightest bit guilty.  It is what it is.  I am just very aware of the injustice of the situation.

Nor is it impossible for me to completely put away from my mind the fact that for each of most of the myriad coincidences which have led to this windfall of mine, there is an equal and opposite adversity for someone (or many someones) else.  Did I mention midwestern drought?  You can add to that the soft real estate market, the related mortgage crisis, well... the list just goes on and on.

Also, even though we are talkin' a modest little house far from anything remotely resembling an exclusive gated community, I don't want to let real property and improvements take from me any substantial portion of the freedom I found in learning to live a life of simplicity.  Take that, corporate America!

So, here's the plan.  I intend to use my new home frugally, ecologically, and responsibly.  I look forward to sharing its comforts with others.  I will not seek to fill it up with stuff... well, some stuff (more books, for example).  I will do everything I can to keep it from separating me from the friendship and community with those whose homes are less secure, or who have no home at all.

I never, ever, ever, want to become someone who has to be told what it's like to be poor, or that we need to work together for peace and social justice.  It's just walls and a roof.

But, hot damn, it looks good, and my cats are goin' to think they died and went to heaven when they start exploring that yard.

-----

UPDATED:  Minor typo fixes.  I'm horrible at proofing my own work.

Tags: Poverty, Affordable Housing (all tags) :: Previous Tag Versions

Permalink | 43 comments

    •  I commend you on the life's work you have chosen (6+ / 0-)

      They are not conservatives they are REGRESSIVES

      by Goodbye Kitty on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 09:47:00 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Thanks... (3+ / 0-)

        Recommended by:
        KiaRioGrl79, Ekaterin, kyril

        although I didn't mean to fish for compliments, and I'm more concerned about figurin' out just what I'm gonna do next.

        Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

        by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 09:50:33 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  One answer (4+ / 0-)

          Recommended by:
          KiaRioGrl79, jgilhousen, I, Goodbye Kitty

          Write an autobiography.  This is a GREAT diary.

          •  Aw... shucks. Twarn't nuttin. [wink] (2+ / 0-)

            Recommended by:
            KiaRioGrl79, willb48

            As for the autobiography... I have to wait for a few more family members to go on to their eternal rewards first.

            I'd love to write about some of the people I've met along the way, though.  I have been blessed with a life populated with an amazing cast of characters.

            Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

            by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 11:21:50 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  Start now (2+ / 0-)

              Recommended by:
              KiaRioGrl79, jgilhousen

              You can always write while waiting for the family to pop off.  Anyway, who says an autobiography has to be about your intimate personal life?  Describing the characters you saw along the way might be enough.

              You certainly have a narrative gift - and memories shouldn't die with the man.

              •  As you've probably noticed... (2+ / 0-)

                Recommended by:
                KiaRioGrl79, willb48

                I have a very difficult time telling a story without providing tons of context.  Perhaps hopelessly linear thinking, but it seems like a meal without salt to talk about where I've been and who I've met without any mention of how I happened to get there.

                When I was delivering homilies on a regular basis, I'd draft them on Monday, and it took me the rest of the week to edit them down to a manageable size.

                Your point about not having to wait until sufficient numbers of coffins have been lowered into the ground to insure that all of the innocent (and most of the guilty) are protected from potential embarassment... yes, well taken.

                Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

                by jgilhousen on Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 12:03:38 AM PDT

                [ Parent ]

                •  A Project (1+ / 0-)

                  Recommended by:
                  KiaRioGrl79

                  I've been trying to get my (ageing) relatives to write down family stories they have heard.  So far, zip.  I think the grandkiddies would love to have a book of these memories.  I don't know whether they would be inspired by my tales of drug-dealing. It's an open secret among my contemporaries.

                  My father and maternal grandfather were bootleggers.  My paternal great-great-grandfather was scalped by a Cherokee, and died of sepsis.

                  Stories like this need to be preserved.  Be sure and mention in your autobiography why Aunt Emma fell face forward into punchbowl during the reception after Cousin Claude's wedding.  The reason why his fiancee chose peach rather than white as the color of her wedding-gown could furnish a whole town with gossip.  

                  Just make stuff up.  Many of my relatives seem to do this.  Then they accuse me of the fault.  Dangit, I'm pretty sure I orbited the Moon during the 1970s.   I remember it as though it were yesterday...............

                  I have about 200 pages of memories, so far.  I doubt that they will be published, but one day I will send them to a cooperative laser-printer (my printer HP II is no longer supported by HP or Microsoft) and have something to pass on to my ungrateful colateral descendants.  I'm going to leave out all the naughty bits about marriage.

                  Really, yours is the most well-written diary of the week.

                  Dip your toe into the water.  

                  And, if you choose not to do so, I'll trust your wisdom.  Some tales must not be told, some tales must be told - and Marcel Proust proved that some tales are too tiresome to tell.  I don't care what cookie he ate.  

                  Watch out!  My latest letter-to-the-editor has been accepted for publication by NYT.

                  Keep it short, keep it sarcastic, if you wish to get a letter published by NYT.

                  Your writing deserves more thoughtful analysis, and praise.  Your essay would certainly deserve a place on the Op-Ed space, and I encourage you to submit it there.  

          •  Yes. A rare treat. (4+ / 0-)

            Here I am, not able to sleep after my three-week-old son woke me up to get him some food (I swear, if he doesn't learn to fend for himself ....), trying to let my brain drop back into unconsciousness, and I read something as poetically appealing as this.

            •  Children are so unreasonable... (4+ / 0-)

              Recommended by:
              KiaRioGrl79, lurks a lot, willb48, I

              expecting to be fed repeatedly every. single. day! [wink]

              I've been trying to get my cats to go to Petco for their own kibble and litter, but the little beasties seem unable or unwilling to memorize the PIN code for my debit card.

              (And of course, the foregoing is all a mask for the fact that all the adulation over my writing is making me seriously blush.  The kudos from Meteor Blades, whom I consider one of the most gifted writers on dK absolutely blew me away.)

              Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

              by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 11:58:54 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

  •  Congrats on your new home (5+ / 0-)

    And the long route it took to get there.  I'm sure your kitties would love it.  Good luck to you all.

    Outta here, I don't deal well with sites that condone racism.

    by fabooj on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 09:52:29 PM PDT

  •  Hey Man, Just Do It! (7+ / 0-)

    Sure there's some extension of charity involved here but it's not as though you haven't invested in good works for the community first --and, evidently, when there was no prospect of this kind of reward for it.

    So maybe this will give you some new ways to contribute, or maybe it'll keep you independent of community charity you might otherwise need to fall back on, which is a form of contributions.

    To everything there is a season.

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:11:19 PM PDT

  •  Congratulations on your new adventures (5+ / 0-)

    just make sure to not get overwhelmed with all of the new decisions you need to make (and the money that having a home sucks up). Enjoy all that you have, and make sure to take good care of yourself.

    I remember a time when the American President was the leader of the free world. ****** Repeat after me: "Neoconservatism has failed America."

    by land of the free on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:15:10 PM PDT

  •  Recommended! Both your Diary ... (7+ / 0-)

    ...your plan for community, for frugality and ecologically sound living.

    Like a cyclone, imperialism spins across the globe; militarism crushes peoples and sucks their blood like a vampire. K. Liebknecht

    by Meteor Blades on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:26:46 PM PDT

  •  Congratulations to you and your cats (4+ / 0-)

    I think it's wonderful that life has handed you this gift. Owning a house won't change your obvious concern for the welfare of others, and will undoubtedly help you be more of a blessing.

    Thanks so much for sharing this inspiring story. I wish you well in your new home!  

    "That's what I'm opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics"...Barack Obama, 2002

    by Ekaterin on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:40:56 PM PDT

    •  Thanks, Ek. Very generous remarks. (1+ / 0-)

      Recommended by:
      Ekaterin

      I have faith that my priorities and values will not fundamentally changed.  But, like most of us products of the Sixties, I have seen so many of my former kindred spirits become so involved in maintaining their careers and possessions that they lost the vision we once so strongly shared.  I think it is prudent to remind myself to keep that vision clear throughout this process and beyond, lest someone else some day has to do the reminding.

      Describing it as angst is probably overstating.  Getting ahold of my commitment to remaining true to who I am and what I am about is probably more accurate, but makes for far duller reading.  And I can be a thumping bore as it is.  [wink]

      Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

      by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:47:28 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  not BE fundamentally changed. Sheesh. (n/t) (0+ / 0-)

        Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

        by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:48:14 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  You've already learned....... (1+ / 0-)

          Recommended by:
          jgilhousen

          .....not to be controlled by STUFF. But you're right, many of us children of the 60s quickly forgot our commitment to simplicity and to others when we got our hands on money.

          I'd love to know how and why you chose your vocation in life.

          "That's what I'm opposed to. A dumb war. A rash war. A war based not on reason but on passion, not on principle but on politics"...Barack Obama, 2002

          by Ekaterin on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 10:52:54 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  It's a very long story with a lot of twists. (1+ / 0-)

            Recommended by:
            Ekaterin

            I'm not quite ready to distill it into a diary, nor am I sure that dK is the proper venue... perhaps Street Prophets, or even a personal blog.  Also, there is the peril of appearing to be engaging in self promotion, or just ego massage.

            Nothin' I seek to hide, though, and I can be reached at the e-mail addy on my dK profile, if you want to discuss such things "off the board."

            Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

            by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 11:04:50 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  Keep it simple, for sure (2+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    old wobbly, jgilhousen

    I'm still annoyed that I filled my house with furniture.  It makes it hard to keep the place clean.  

    I didn't even buy much of the furniture - inheritances, extra stuff available at work (you're going to throw out that credenza?), etc.

    I'd like to be back in a one-bedroom apartment with a lot of bookshelves - but, life moves on.

    Here's one hint I've come up with for keeping things simple: never subscribe to a newspaper, not even if you get a month free.  Not even if you recycle.  

    I hope that you and the cats will be very happy in your new Xanadu!  

    •  Thanks. (1+ / 0-)

      Recommended by:
      willb48

      I can horde.  Working for underfunded church-related charities, one is always trying to do a lot with very little.  So, it's a temptation to scavenge and store... but it's mostly small stuff like hardware.  Even that can quickly get out of hand.

      Newspapers!  Phew!  That's a great tip.  I know that both the regional and the local dailies offer free trial subscriptions upon moving into a new place.  I am used to getting my news online and on the air, so on your advice, I'll decline.

      And thanks for the best wishes.  It'll probably take a few weeks for closing and to arrange the move-in.  The supportive words here have immensely helped me prepare emotionally.

      Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

      by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 11:17:47 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  blessings on yr new home (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    jgilhousen

    and on the creatures great & small you will share it with.

    and naturally, a happy welcome to you from all the green leafy garden fairies.

    oh and from the garden bugs too.

    •  Thanks, O.W. (1+ / 0-)

      Recommended by:
      old wobbly

      The yard and living things therein especially excite me... can't wait for Spring to get my hands dirty.

      Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

      by jgilhousen on Fri Oct 26, 2007 at 11:19:15 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  get yr han's dirty now - plant spring bulbs (0+ / 0-)

        mebbe get a couple bales of straw and spread it over where you want to plant veggies & stuff, layer it overwinter with compost, let it melt into the soil over the winter (we get straw mushrooms).

        oh yah -- and come on over to frankenoid's sattiday gardn bloggin fer inspiration...

        •  You gotta date, fershure. (1+ / 0-)

          Recommended by:
          old wobbly

          One of these days I'll have to tell you about my gardening disaster the first of several years I spent in Maine.  Suffice it to say, Spring appears to come as early there as it does in Oregon where I grew up and now live again... but it's an illusion.

          Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

          by jgilhousen on Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 12:06:02 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  •  I hope that I can maintain an attitude like yours (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    jgilhousen

    throughout my entire life.  I have that attitude from time to time, and then I get worried about stupid crap.

    Thanks for this writing.  I wish I could begin to tell you the memories it evokes -- of Catholic Worker houses in Ithaca, NY, of taking care of my father during an illness and being happier than I had been in ages, of teachers I've had in the past, of a cinder block garage that I lived in for two years which was probably my favorite dwelling in my life ... well, I'm rambling.  Point is, I really enjoyed reading this.

  •  And your comments have made me hungry... (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    I

    for more of your stories.  That level of community is something I don't experience as often as I would like here on dKos (an observation not a criticism).

    And much to my superiors' chagrin, I'm a big fan of Dorothy Day.  (In fact, I could hear their hrumphs and sighs as I typed that sentence.)

    I have much sympathy and some empathy for those who characterize themselves as "recovering Catholics."  It just has not been my experience.  I am very blessed to have found where I belong, and a very true vocation.

    I also did not mean to imply that I have not had periods where I felt like screaming "What the hell am I doing here," and even some where my prayers seemed to leave my lips only to fall to the floor.  But that's part of the path that got me here, too.  Wouldn't want a do-over at all.

    Despite my penchant for agonizing over small moral questions, and a definite inclination for over-scrupulosity toward my own conduct, and over-lenience toward that of others... I think I'm pretty satisfied with who I am, and who I am becoming.  As the kids say (and I'm reaching the age where they're all kids), "It's all good."

    Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

    by jgilhousen on Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 12:15:50 AM PDT

  •  Doddering off to bed now... (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    buddabelly

    Thanks to everyone who took time to read the meanderings my brain took tonight.  And especial thanks to all who provided advice, support, and/or encouragement.

    Given the personal nature of the diary, I'll check back in tomorrow to make any further replies as appropriate.

    Pax vobiscum.

    J-M +

    Healthcare NOT Warfare! (Petition)

    by jgilhousen on Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 12:20:19 AM PDT

    •  good wishes (0+ / 0-)

      The house will give you opportunities you haven't dreamed of:  there's a tattered newspaper clipping or two of folks who invited strangers to Thanksgiving dinner and have created a banquet.  Maybe a hummingbird feeder?

      You know, people have to have certain level of comfort to be creative and to learn.  This new chapter in your life may teach you aobut being a neighbor.

      "You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them." [Ray Bradbury]

      by RosyFinch on Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 10:44:05 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Best wishes, and recommended! (1+ / 0-)

    Recommended by:
    jgilhousen

    Now I'm off to sit down and negotiate the offer I'm about to make on my very first home. Everyone keep their fingers crossed for me, okay? Please?

    Sure, he comes across quiet and avuncular. Until he gets mad ... then he sounds like God on a bad day. ~ Dallasdoc on Senator Patrick Leahy

    by KiaRioGrl79 on Sat Oct 27, 2007 at 06:41:13 AM PDT

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