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Presidential hopeful Howard Dean was brutal raped before and after the first of the nation primaries and caucus's in Iowa and NH is currently being investigated by police. The chief suspects Rupert Murdoch, Chairman and CEO of The News Corporation, Princell Hair, CNN's general manager, Walter Isaacson, chairman and CEO of CNN News Group, AOL Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons, MSNBC president Erik Sorenson, media mogul Ted Turner, as well as several other news executives were present at the scene of the crime. According to Rupert Murdoch they were having a polite conversation with Dean about his support of regulating media conglomerates and the possibility that he would split up their empires when out of no where according to Mr. Murdoch Dean started to go crazy and rape himself. Erik Sorenson of MSNBC stated that we couldn't stop, we tried but it was a horrible situation. CNN's general manager Princell Hair has lately admitted that perhaps they shouldn't have held Dean down while he was raping himself, but he was still to blame. Lawyers for Howard Dean responded that......XXXXXX marked for deletion by the Editor and Chief of News Corp XXXXXX. Rupert Murdoch sporting a Kerry for president button responded that we did our duty to the best of our ability. We just hope that something like this never happens again.