Those who know me, both here and in what amounts to my real life, know that I am a somewhat unlapsed left wing Roman Catholic, spending this lifetime (undeservedly) with a too good for me devotee of Chogyejong Buddhism.
They also have probably heard that I like to joke and say that we are both compromising our belief systems and raising our daughters as Mormons.
Today this little unwitty throwaway line gained resonance for me. More on the flip.
This morning I rolled out of bed and picked up the morning paper - in my case this happens to be the Toronto Star
One of the articles caught my eye...
Vanier was the son of privilege – his father, Georges, was Canada's governor general – but he left a career as a philosophy professor at the University of Toronto for the village of Trosly-Breuil, about an hour north of Paris, where he started the first L'Arche home in 1964. Today there are 134 L'Arche communities in 34 countries.
The L'Arche founder, with his wise smile and unruly white hair, told the students, some of whom had boarded buses at 4 a.m. for the event, that whatever their capacities or incapacities, "You are more beautiful that you dare suspect."
That's about when the tears started. A girl in a white polo schoolshirt wiped hers away during the hour he spoke.
Beware of longing for wealth and status, he continued. Beware of rapacity. "Get out of the world of competition where you only think of yourself and your power, " he said, adding, "It's not easy."
I know Jean Vanier. I've had the unique opportunity to spend retreats at the old Oka Cistercian Monastery where his brother Benedict has been a member of the community for decades. Benedict is the sort of unassuming person whose demeanour and calm can change the whole course of a meeting.
The article was well worth a read. Vanier speaks of the same empowerment through acceptance of weakness, difference, and the glory of the soul of all others that Jesus talked of...
I turned the page. There was this article on Toronto Buddhists waiting to welcome the Dalai Lama.
There was a list of the Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path that I am familiar with from long exposure. But I read it in juxtaposition with the earlier article, and some thoughts occurred to me.
Central to Buddhism are the Four Noble Truths, as taught by the Buddha. For many in this material age, they have proven prescient.
- Nothing lasts in this world, even happiness. There is always suffering.
- We have suffering because people want more and more, becoming greedy and selfish.
- This suffering can ease if you overcome your selfishness, greed and hatred.
- The way to do this is through the Eightfold Path.
The Eightfold Path
1. Understanding: See clearly what you want to do with your life
- Thought: Do not waste time daydreaming
3. Speech: Say only good things.
- Deeds: Good deeds are unselfish deeds.
5. Work: Try not to take jobs that will harm others.
6. Effort: Try your best at all times
- Mindfulness: Pay full attention to what you are doing
8. Concentration: Try to concentrate on what you have to do.
Here was just the philosophy of Jean and Benedict put into other words. I have always thought that my Christianity and my wife's Buddhism were simialar, now I had it staring me in the face.
I underlined some of the ones I have not always been too strong on. I've highlighted them above.
Then it struck me. These same faults I can plainly see and admit to in my own character and life are ones that I have been attacking in George Bush.
I feel terrible about that. I beg Mr. Bush's pardon, sincerely, as a fellow Christian. I genuinely resolve to do much better in my Understanding, Speech, Work, Effort and Mindfulness. I hope Mr. Bush can do the same, because, you see, the only difference between my brother in Christ George Bush and I is one of scope and degree.
When I failed to see clearly what I should do with my life I effected people in my life and damaged relationships and lost chances and hurt the ones I loved. It took me most of my adult life to find a goal and work towards it. I still live with the damage and disappointment I caused.
I really feel for George, I empathise. I mean, though, it must have been so much harder for him. His lack of direction in life meant repeated bankruptcies. People lost their livelihoods and savings. Yet George apparently never had the benefit of learning life lessons and facing up to his failings. He was consistently upwardly mobile in his career track, he was rescued from all consequences. He was denied the possibility of reform. This is one of the worst ways to warp a person.
I am also known, in most of the circles I travel in, for having a quick and biting wit. I use sarcasm too much. I hurt people with quick and thoughtless retorts. This regularly causes my friends dismay and causes me embarassment. I am prone to what the French call "stairway thoughts" and regrets. But as far as I know I don't have that particularly terrible burden that my brother George must labour under. I don't think, as wretched and uncaring and clumsy as I have been, that I have ever treated te powerless in such a terrible way mocked someone I was putting to death. Nor have I ever referred to the sacrifice of others' lives, bodies, and treasure as a "comma". I know full well that the road to self improvement runs first through regret. What will happen to poor George when he opens the door to a full reflection on his past utterances? I hope there is still someone there to give him emotional support. Maybe he could start while he still has a paid Presidential staff.
In my work I have done many jobs. I am very proud of most of them. I am not proud of some security work that I did as a young man. I did nothing illegal or unethical, I was only lazy and slipshod and careless, and I did commit acts that make me cringe at my misuse of power and position. I carried out my job in full ignorance of the clear consequences that my actions were causing. What's worse, I did not educate myself to the toxic nature of my misuse of power until it was almost too late. But thank God that I had the smallest amount of judgment to listen to good friends and get out of that situation.
My friend in Christ George has much the same problem, it seems. He has very little understanding of the harm he does in the execution of his work. At least, in my more charitable moments I put this down to a lack of attention or competence. Maybe George needs to do a skills and interests inventory and find a job where he can follow his bliss. I suppose baseball commissioner is out of the question, but I hear that there are a shortage of equipment managers in some of the Triple A franchises. Good honest labor. A man could look himself in the eye after a day at work. Think about it George. I worry about you.
I have not always given my best effort nor been fully mindful of what I am doing. I strive, and fail, and pick myself up and try again. But at least I can recognize when I fail. Can you George?
I think George should take the time to read some Dalai Lama in with all the Shakespeares and Bible readings and Prousts and Camus that are claimed to be on his reading list.
Maybe if he saw that Buddha conversed with Jesus and they both had good ideas he might begin to see the creative dialectics might just lead him out of the wilderness.
Gotta go. My girls need a lift to Mormon Temple. :-)