Tomorrow marks the seventh anniversary of the fateful 2000 election that brought us to this state we're in. We all know what happened, so why cry over spilt oil? Instead, let's give this anniversary its appropriate commemoration. What will you do to mark this solemn occasion?
Here are a few suggestions I've whipped up on short notice:
- Drink a toast of glossy white lead paint and give yourself a superb John Bolton "milk" mustache.
- Steal medicine from babys' mouths
- Play gin rummy with a deck of "Iraq's most wanted" cards
- Bail a bearded acquaintance out of jail and then lose track of him
- Encourage underage girls to go drinking with you, preferably in Argentina
- Bang a piano playin' black chick
- Visit a lawyer in the hospital right after major surgery and have him sign over power of attorney to you
- Ask your phone company for immunity from any future bills
- Invest your grandparents' social security checks in Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch and Citigroup shares
- Buy a big block of ice and spend an evening watching it melt, then deny it happened
- Buy Michelle Malkin a bikini and compliment her on how white she's getting after all that time on the beach
- Take a page out of comedian Lewis Black's book. With help and encouragement from his college buddies, Black defecated on a television news broadcast of Nixon's reelection in 1972. Thanks to assholes like John Ellis, the Fox executive who called Florida for his first cousin Dumbya, we don't have to look far for a suitable target this time around.
What's your plan?
Cross posted at Water on the Moon