I've had some replies to my first diary. One reader referred to my writing about a "hard luck story." It's made me think about how readers will interpret what I'm writing, and how they might interpret my motives for writing.
I'm not writing out of self-pity. And when I said "this is bigger than me," I meant it. I'm always deeply conscious of the growing wealth gap in this country. I can't consider my own circumstances without giving a lot of thought to what other Americans are going through. People who had always been able to keep themselves viable financially now are slipping under. It seems to me that we ought to be scrutinizing that and asking ourselves as a people why it's happening, and then setting about to right the injustice. If I can make a small contribution toward helping that happen, even if only among a small group of Americans, then it's worth my sharing some of my own experiences, much as I'm not comfortable doing that.
My degree is in English, with a concentration in non-fiction writing. I did work my way through college at a lot of different jobs to pay my living expenses. But 100 percent of my tuition was paid by a scholarship at the university I attended. If I hadn't won that scholarship I would not have been able to attend college. And if I hadn't gone to college I wouldn't have a prayer of being able to surmount what has happened to me in recent years.
Since I have this degree going for me--and most people below the poverty line don't--I feel a deep obligation to use what I have to maybe ease some hardship for people who didn't get the break I got. I mean this in good faith. Wealthy journalists who have served brief sentences in poverty have been well-meaning. But it occurs to me that I can put my degree to good use by writing about this life as someone who has gone through it and who faces down uncertainty and fear every day. Most of the working poor have no voice. At least I can be one voice raised from the ranks of the working poor.
I wish I could discredit the GOP cheerleaders who defame Americans who go through all manner of grief to survive. The working poor don't deserve the slap in the face these judgmental Americans serve them. Those who defame poor Americans don't deserve the dignity of a response. Still, it's important to be aware of their slander and to acknowledge it. We can show the slander for the dishonesty it is.