Christmas Morning in a dysfunctional home

I took some sleeping pills last evening right after my sister in law stopped by to drop off  Oma's (Oma is German for grandmother)  and her presents for the grand kids that live with us. My 5th wife's daughter and kids moved in when she got divorced 2 1/2 years ago, temporarily of course, rofl. Well after all the trouble Dori went to for the special Christmas eve family get together I knew the evening was only going to get worse.

I admit I don't do stress well, so I took my stress pills and my clonazepam and as I was passing out at the computer my wife sent me to bed, good deal for me. The night only got worse.

My step daughter decided to go out for the night at 9pm  she showed up this morning at 8. I am sorry with 2 little kids at home I think a parents place is home for Xmas morning not out whatever she was doing. She wanted to wake the kids up to help her fix breakfast or fix breakfast and then wake them up to eat.

How many of you have ever seen kids on Christmas morning want to help cook or wait to eat before touching the stockings or presents under the tree, I just asked her has she been a parent long or is she just a cut out parent?

I then went out back to the back porch before I said anything else I might regret. Myf wife and I are retired and I have enough problems medically, if I have to go to the hospital what is my wife supposed to do with these kids, while the daughter is out playing? It would be different if it was just occasionally, but this is a 4-6 day a week deal. I just an not impressed with her, if she doesn't like the new rules coming on New Years eve, she can always move in with her father on the north side of town. He wants to spend more time with the grand kids anyway, he had a nice large house, 3500 sq ft on a small lake.

Call me scrooge  but I am tired of being used and abused by an ungrateful step child, I don't even let my own kids treat me this way and my wife knows it, I don't do stress and this is getting to that point.

On a brighter note here is my Xmas message on my blog
Military and Veterans: Politics for the Deserving

I know that many veterans and active duty military read this blog and I appreciate all of your support. I do this blog as my way of still giving something back to the military community. I am a disabled veteran who spends his days normally in my house or on my back porch. I use a power chair for anything involving walking more than 100feet, due to me health. I don't play well with others, probably from my PTSD or else I am just a cranky old bastard, either way, this blog and others like Daily Kos are my window to the world.

I try and share news article and other tidbits like the stuff from the Veterans Committee's House and Senate, some Senators and Congress reps, things that impact the lives of veterans and their families. Bottom line it always comes down to wallet issues, no matter who we are, we have to pay our bills, and being a totally disabled veteran normally leaves us at the whim of Congress.

We have to work together to get Congress to support veterans disabled or not, there are promises they made to this nations veterans, when we volunteered to serve, college benefits, home loans, medical care, health insurance for our families if we are disabled, compensation if we die related to medical problems related to service, we have to work to make sure the federal government keeps these promises.

I wish everyone who reads this a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and may next year be better than this past year has been.

•  tips, comments or opinions lol

  by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:46:55 AM PDT

  •  My Favorite Christmas song... hands down!

    Robert Earl Keene's "Christmas with the Family"... I don't know how to imbed You Tube... maybe somebody could help...; )

    "Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Effort, Concentration, and Wisdom"

    by Dood Abides on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:52:56 AM PDT

    •  Happy to oblige...

      And Merry Christmas, Dood & Testvet.

      by The Raven on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:00:48 AM PDT

      •  thank you Raven

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:01:48 AM PDT

        •  another nice testy Christmas song

          Forgive me for jumping in, but I just found this song yesterday while reading an article on the BBC.  Apparently this song has been the #1 Christmas song in the UK for years but I must have been living under a rock and never heard of it.  Anyway, I listened to it and I love it, (except for the use of slurs against several groups I like but they are incidental to the song). Well, here go's:

          by North Country Dem on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 12:56:43 PM PDT

          •  Oh, the Pogues!

            What a great band. Yes, this is from "If I Should Fall From Grace With God", circa 1988 or so. The whole album is great. One of my faves...

            Too bad this is what became of Shane McGowan

            by MaskedKat on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 01:16:43 PM PDT

            •  yes sad

              Its also tragic what happened to his partner in the duet, Kirsty MacColl, who was killed in a tragic boating accident off the coast of Cozamel Mexico a few years back.  The song, "The Fairytale of New York" had a controversy this Christmas season when BBC's Radio One censored the more testy parts of the song, only to be deluged by protests and giving in.  Still, the sentiments of the song are something we all can identify with.

              by North Country Dem on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 01:42:49 PM PDT

        •  Next Christmas, you come down here

          to FL and have a great time. This is what I did today..and will do.

          Got up, got coffee, wandered out on the porch, accompanied by little dog and hound, and counted horses and eyeballed fencing while having coffee. All is well, horses are here, fencing has no holes or missing boards. All horses have requisite number of legs and are using them equally. Ok, that's a good start to the day.

          Then I went and checked the turkey, yes!! it is defrosted!! Yay! Then I went and read DKos and finished my coffee. After that it's time to make and bake the pumpkin pie. So, I did. Then I made the stuffing for the turkey and then stuffed the turkey and stuck it in the oven. Nothing to do until it is done.

          Well, not much anyway.  I gave the giblets and the turkey neck to the barn cats, who ate the giblets and are carefully studying the turkey neck for future ingestion. They want to make sure it's is really, really, really dead. So, as soon as the thingy on the turkey pops up and says it's ready, I am going to take it out of the oven, set it to cool where my hound can't reach it and go out and feed the horses. I will probably take Hound with me to safeguard the turkey. The cats will get their daily canned food, after escorting me from the house to the barn. I try not to trip over them, but it's hard with them twining in and out of my legs while I am trying to walk. The hound will be cowering on the other side of the house, the cats like to chase her, sigh.

          I will be greeted with much effusiveness by my horses, they will gallop up, bucking and kicking in glee, when I approach with the feed. One thing about horses, you KNOW they are glad to see you at feeding time. I will check the water tubs, and top off any that need it, then I will go back up to the barn and check on the cats. They will get petted while the hound dances around in the yard waiting for me to come in and feed her dinner, along with little dog who has kept up a chorus of shrill yaps through the window during this whole endeavor. She stays in because she isn't scared of the cats and steals their food..LOL The big hound, who weighs 40 lbs., runs from the smallest kitten. The 8 lb dog who is cat sized has no fear of them at all. Go figure.

          Then I will come in and quickly steam the broccoli and make the Hollandaise in the blender(recipe in Joy of Cooking) and then eat my now ready to carve turkey, with stuffing,  whole berry cranberry sauce and broccoli with Hollandaise, with pumpkin pie for desert. Yum. And all in an atmosphere of peace and quiet.

          See, I don't care for most of my family either. I loved the family Christmases we had at my grandmother's house, they were wonderful, mostly because of her and my grandfather. But they are gone now. And since the only sister whose house I would want to set foot in is Jewish, I do my own Christmas. And I do it rather well, if I do say so myself..LOL So, come down next year and hang out in lovely FL with me. Your wife can have a vacation too. Florida is lovely this time of year. See? This is a view from the porch..

          http://i3.photobucket.com/...
          P.S. I have all the handicapped aids from when my husband broke his hip, so am all set for disabled guests.

          

          

          by Demfem on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 02:04:42 PM PDT

      •  a simply brilliant song

        this song speaks to people on so many levels.  listen to the people in the audience singing along.

        here are the lyrics for people on dialup or for whom the sound quality is unclear:

        Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
        At our Christmas party
        We were drinkin’ champagne punch and homemade eggnog
        Little sister brought her new boyfriend
        He was a Mexican
        We didn’t know what to think of him til he sang Feliz Navidad
        Feliz Navidad

        Brother Ken brought his kids with him
        The three from his first wife Lynn
        And the two identical twins
        From his second wife MaryNell
        Of course he brought his new wife Kay
        Who talks all about AA
        Chain smokin’ while the stereo plays Noel, Noel,
        The first Noel

        Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
        Mix margaritas when the eggnog’s gone
        Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
        We need some ice and an extension cord
        A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
        A box of tampons and Marlboro Lights
        Hallelujah everybody say cheese
        Merry Christmas from the family

        Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
        I can’t remember how I’m kin to them
        But when they tried to plug their motor home in
        They blew our Christmas lights
        Cousin David knew just what went wrong
        So we all waited on our front lawn
        He threw the breaker and the lights came on and we sang Silent Night
        Oh Silent Night

        Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
        Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
        Send somebody to the Stop ‘n Go
        We need some celery and a can of fake snow
        A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
        A box of tampons and Salem Lights
        Hallelujah everybody say cheese
        Merry Christmas from the family

        Feliz Navidad!

        by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:42:46 AM PDT

        •  Thank you. I needed a laugh.

          by Lying eyes on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:14:38 AM PDT

        •  For all dysfunctional families

          and the people who love them...click below

          by etherapy on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:35:46 AM PDT

        •  That just about covers it--

          Christmas in most families.  It's just that some families acknowledge it, and some try to pretend that everything is perfect.

          Christmas is that time when all the messiness and all the pain just comes together--and if lucky, it works anyway.   And if not lucky, well, it hurts worse then than the rest of the year.

          But (from my faith viewpoint) we're loved and accepted anyway because we're doing our best.  Even when the best is way not enough, if we had the resources to do better, we would.  Some of us have an elevator out of the pit of dysfunction, and some a stairway;  some a ladder, and some have to catch for a worn rope hanging over the edge; and some can only raise a hand and hope for help.  May we have compassion for all--those enduring the pit and those escaped and those who suffer in between.   Merry Christmas anyway, and Merry Christmas especially!  

          by revsue on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 12:23:46 PM PDT

        •  Jes' one question: WHY so many Tampons?n/t

          by dolphin777 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 12:57:45 PM PDT

          •  cause you just never know.

            by PoliSigh on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 02:07:53 PM PDT

    •  "I don't know how to imbed You Tube"

      You gotta be SHITTIN' me.
      Go to the page for the video and copy the embed code you'll find to the right of the video box to the clipboard.
      Paste it into the dKos comment box, preview and post.
      Es todo, mijo.
      Just that simple.

      by kestrel9000 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:05:33 AM PDT

      •  thanks, kestrel9000

        I didn't know either!

        by Pandoras Box on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:07:07 AM PDT

        •  Easy as 3.1416 n/t :)

          by kestrel9000 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:10:30 AM PDT

          •  Only a Liberal Elitist

            Would make a joke like that ;-)

            by ChapiNation386 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:26:14 AM PDT

          •  Similar to my Sig...

            (wink),(wink) But I carry the numbers  out a few more places:)

            Merry Christmas, Happy Holidaze, Happy Hanukkah, Peace!

            by Mr SeeMore on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:10:02 AM PDT

          •  darned

            I learned something today - your xmas gift to me -thanks

            by duende on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:27:25 AM PDT

          •  a cartoon just for you

            http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/...

            by SarahLee on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 11:17:58 AM PDT

            •  pilarious

              by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 11:46:41 AM PDT

      •  Thank You!

        I tried it in a dead thread and experienced succes.  Nice Christmas present, Kestrel9000.  Thanks and Happy Holidays to you.

        by vigilant meerkat on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:33:54 AM PDT

    •  I finally saw the imbed! duh!

      "Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Effort, Concentration, and Wisdom"

      by Dood Abides on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:23:57 AM PDT

      •  looks like my house or is that Jeff Foxworthys

        hard to tell

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:31:34 AM PDT

        •  I like this version the best...

          although live is pretty awesome with the audience singing along...; )

          "Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Effort, Concentration, and Wisdom"

          by Dood Abides on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:39:16 AM PDT

          •  great visuals!

            its easier to hear the lyrics and the melody on that one too.

            it really is an amazing song in the number of cultural touchstones it covers.

            I'm surprised you didn;t know how to embed, Dood, but I guess you learn something every day at Daily Kos!

            by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:50:44 AM PDT

            •  I just don't do much video...

              I'm kind of behind on the whole YouTube thing...

              People have asked REK if it's based on a true story... his response: "You just can't make this shit up!"

              "Generosity, Ethics, Patience, Effort, Concentration, and Wisdom"

              by Dood Abides on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:59:21 AM PDT

            •  I'm with you TrueB

              I can't believe Dood couldn't embed with all the wonderful stuff he posts.
              Maybe there is hope for me afterall to learn how to link!

              by gabie on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 07:14:35 AM PDT

              •  There's always something out there

                new to learn. Even for the D00d!

                It's just one of the wonderful things about this place.

                I'm off to visit my 84-year-old dad in the rehab hospital, where he's on the mend from a broken hip, so Merry Christmas and Blessed Solstice and Happy Festivus to all!

                by Sharoney on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:46:59 AM PDT

                •  I'm glad he's on the mend and you able to go

                  spend some time with him  enjoy the visit

                  by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:48:35 AM PDT

    •  I was just describing that song to

      my coworkers the other day.

      The shopping list is what cracks my shit up every time.  I won't enumerate it lest I spoil the hearing of it for  others who haven't yet clicked the YouTube.

      by blue vertigo on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 07:48:16 AM PDT

    •  LOVE REK!!

      Merry Christmas everyone. Let's resolve to keep our light shining into the darkness in 2008! There are so many of us around the world who have had ENOUGH. Our focused light and energy will prevail!

      Sell Peace.
      
      (^John & Yoko :: Imagine Peace "War Is Over" Message at YouTube.)

      by jen on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:52:07 AM PDT

    •  Hit "more" in the description box

      two URL open up, copy the one that says "embed" and paste it in the comment hit preview and admire the work.

      by NearlyNormal on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:58:56 AM PDT

  •  Next Christmas

    Come to Texas and spend it with us.

    After my grandmother and mother died I was free to remake the holidays.

    My family consists of 2 sons. We don't do a bunch of consumerism or cooking piles and piles of food. This morning they each got new t-shirts from Dispair Wear and a couple of other useful, simple gifts then we watched The 5th Element, ate scrambled eggs, sausage and hot sauce. Later we will grill some meat and steam some broccoli, lay up in a pile and watch more movies.

    Come on down to Texas!

    As you know, I love you, Testvet. You deserve the very best.

    by TXsharon on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:02:23 AM PDT

    •  tempting very tempting

      by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:48:52 AM PDT

  •  Breakfast before gifts

    While I would never condone staying out all night on Christmas Eve when you have young children, I grew up having to have breakfast, generally a bowl of oatmeal before even getting to look at the Christmas tree - the idea being to get some decent food in before the candy and crap since lunch was late afternoon with the larger family.

    I did the same with my own kids.  It heightens the experience, even if the eating is a bit rushed by the kids.  The parents drop hints and can sometimes dampen down unrealistic expectations if needed.

    It is a good tradition, I think.

    by SarahLee on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:51:22 AM PDT

•  merry christmas and happy new year, to you!

  and thanks for all you do!

  by Turkana on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:49:39 AM PDT

  •  thank you :)

    by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:51:55 AM PDT

    •  Happy Holidays Testvet

      Hope the new year is a great one for you.

      by vigilant meerkat on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:41:18 AM PDT

      •  it's going to be we are going to help elect

        a new Democratic President that will take office in Jan 2009 and get this country back on the right heading  hopefull with a stronger house and a 60+ seat Senate

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:43:15 AM PDT

•  Rules are good!

  Calmly and cheerfully stated and applied.

  State what you will do, and do it.

  Calmly and cheerfully!

  Those who play along, by the rules, will have a good time!!

  Dysfunctional family stories are bound to accumulate here......

  Which reminds me....must phone some family members!!

  Thanks for the reminder!

  by LNK on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:52:55 AM PDT

  •  I know I didn't invent dysfunctional families

    but I excel at them  rofl

    by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:55:19 AM PDT

    •  heh

      by Pandoras Box on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:07:27 AM PDT

    •  Dysfunction and Politics

      Sometime I'd like to hear your thoughts about dysfunction and the whole 25%-true-believer-GWOT-includes-the-liberal-enemy-at-home-liberal-scum because whenever I get into an argument with them it sure sounds like people from extremely dysfunctional families just looking for something to fight about.

      Some other time though. Have a Merry Christmas!

      by bernardpliers on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 07:09:00 AM PDT

•  Sorry there is a cloud

  over Christmas for you, Testvet.  Sending cheer your way.

  I'm spending Christmas alone.  We couldn't find anyone to watch the pooties and Christmas is a three-day ordeal over here (talk about stress).  Nicole's mother has the depression pretty bad and was alone, so I sent Nicole to her home village to be with her mom while I care for the pooties.  The baby comes this year so next Christmas begins our family traditions.

  But, I have to say, it IS relatively stress-free this year.

  Hopefully the partying is just a stage for your step-daughter.

  peace, bro

  by Jeffersonian Democrat on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:57:42 AM PDT

  •  at 30 I doubt it lol she's found her freedom

    trouble is she has put the anchors on her mother and I

    by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:01:12 AM PDT

    •  A little tough love...

      I apologize if this sounds harsh, especially at this time of year -- reality is often harsh; get some help.  "Pain is necessary, suffering is optional."

      From 24+ years of living in a dysfunctional family... which I was the first to identify, being also the first to "bottom out":

      If, at 30, she's out all night partying on CHRISTMAS EVE with children at "home," she is not experiencing "freedom," she is living in a prison of her own devising... although she obviously has not figured that out yet.  She is (also obviously, to me) in need of some tough love.  You have chosen, so far, to WEAR the "anchors she has put on her mother and you."

      Solution # 1: "These are the rules in MY house.  There is the door.  Your choice.  Make it now."  (Why wait until Jan. 1?)  If your wife/her mother can't stand with you, she is part of the problem.

      Dysfunctional people don't have relationships, we take hostages.

      Solution # 1a:  And join Alanon -- someone there will make sure you get a ride to meetings.  

      This, from the limited information I have from your diary --  there may be other significant factors at play; but your story is all too familiar, and you are CERTAINLY not alone.

      Solution # 2:  See Solution # 1.

      And may God's blessings descend upon your entire family this Christmas, and in the New Year.  From what I've read here, you have much love directed toward you from these quarters.  And I'm absolutely behind you re: DAV benefits.

      by ceebee7 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 12:43:51 PM PDT

    •  What's hers is hers and what's yours is hers?

      I watched my older sister pull this on my parents for decades.  Demanding everything they had to give...time, emotions, attention, responsibility, obedience and, of course, finances.

      By the time they realized they should have cut her loose years before - forcing her to learn how to be responsible for herself - it was too late.  They had become her permanent hostages.  

      The weapons she held, and so cleverly used, were small children.  In the early years it was their grandchildren.  In the end it was their great-granddaughter who, in their late 70's, they reared from birth until she was four at which time she was hatefully yanked away from them.  From there on this child was used as a bribe/threat for anything my sister, or this child's mother, wanted.  "If you don't (fill in the blanks) you will NEVER see (fill in a child's name) again".  That sentence, verbatim, was used against my parents thousands of times.  

      My parents' last years were filled with misery, fear and anxiety due to the demands of my sister and two of her spawn (her other two children are fabulous, kind and responsible adults - god only knows how that happened).

      The above is a mere snapshot of an extremely dysfunctional - and very nasty - family situation.  Testvet?  Please don't take this is any kind of competitive statement, but my sister and her ugly clan could make you and yours look like the Cleavers.

      I'm seeing variations of this scenario engulfing two of my close friends and a couple of other acquaintances.  

      There comes a time when 'tough love' is almost humanly impossible to exercise: when a next generation of small innocent children...with fears of their potential neglect and suffering...is present.

      by 417els on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 02:56:00 PM PDT

  •  ditto, again.

    My gf's parents drive me up the wall. For some reason, they are stuck mentally at the age of 7 and must command everyone to do this that or the other. So, yesterday, as we (or what should be a we) celebrate x-mas on the 24th, I stayed home.

    2 years before we had a huge fight, after a long break from another series of fights, despite my attempts to try to straighten things out, and I've just sort of thrown in the towel- just no sense of communing to people who can't hear you. You know, those kind of people who are only defensive and talk in terms of shifting topics as to direct attention elsewhere, blame you for this or that, etc.

    They once locked my car window, for crying out loud, just because they didn't know how to ask me to either close it, or to ask if I wanted some air. And twice the father has just changed the tv from a program I was watching- not that I would ever really care if he wanted to watch anything anyway, but did it without even asking. And there are about another 30 instances of really weird things, I really should write a book.  

    At any rate, I do have a family here, as do you, no matter what side of the Atlantic we're on. Thank God.

    by borkitekt on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:26:06 AM PDT

  •  I'm alone too, at least right now

    it has been an amazingly stress free Christmas for me too.  I even feel a little bit of Xmas cheer in my heart this morning.

    i do have an invitation to visit friends for dinner this afternoon.  speaking of "carve the turkey put the ballgame on," they have promised to watch whatever  game I want to see, but there are no bowl games and the Celtics aren't playing so we may keep the TV off after all.

    later on some other friends are going to the movies and want me to come with them.  I've never done the movie on Christmas thing, so I might start a new tradition. being alone means I am able to create whatever Xmas celebration I want.

    i miss my mom a lot and she really loved Christmas but I think I'm going to survive this one much better than I expected even as recently as three days ago.

    by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 07:03:57 AM PDT

    •  supporting you here

      and condolences.

      My dad died of lung cancer one X-Mas day while we were prepping to deploy to Panama for the invasion.

      So, X-mas since has really just been another day for me since.  But it is good, now that a baby is on the way, that I am starting to feel Christmassy again.  Leaving ghosts behind and starting new family traditions seems cleansing in a way.

      by Jeffersonian Democrat on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 07:08:55 AM PDT

      •  leaving ghosts behind

        death at Christmas is a hard thing to overcome, especially under the circumstances you had to face.

        but with a baby on the way I am glad that you are starting to feel Christmassy again.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:57:38 AM PDT

    •  We've learned to love alone Christmas

      My husband just lost his mother on December 7, the last parent between us.  He's an immigrant, so all of his family is far away, and what I have left is mostly scattered and not close.  My mother passed away of cancer in 1996 and since then we've gradually lost our parents and other family members.

      Since my mother was diagnosed, we've learned to both truly treasure the times we are with family -- usually Christmas Eve -- as well as the quiet Christmas Day by ourselves when we can do what we want, reflect, and enjoy each other's company.  (We are childless.)  The other benefit is that we've really extended what we consider family -- usually we spend a day with close friends that we consider family, and our Christmas Eve with my sister and her family also includes her mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law.  We love them all.

      We'd both give a lot to have our parents back, but we are also learning to accept that we are in a new phase of life.

      Merry Christmas to you.

      by Katzy on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:06:53 AM PDT

    •  It is kind of nice to have choices

      at least that is how I look at it. Went to visit some of my family in-between Thanksgiving and Christmas, avoiding the crowds. Today I get to spend with friends, both old and new. I like being able to create whatever celebration I want. Have a fun day, whatever you choose to do!

      by kimoconnor on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 09:08:55 AM PDT

      •  Yay, this has been a wonderful Christmas

        As a pastor I always have Christmas Eve service to lead, and a thousand things to do, and I can't relax until service is over and I didn't mess up (I traditionally "act out" the message in "character mode" and much of it is improvised).  And no one set themselves on fire with the candles while singing Silent Night.  Then...happiness.  I have two grown sons here, one living with me, who was working at the hospital.  

        Candlelight service was over by 8 pm, and I was really savoring the idea of just being alone, reading a book, having some eggnog with a little rum, maybe making a fire.  Then one parishioner who is all alone asked if I'd consider eating with her if we could find a place open?  Sure...so we went for Chinese.  Four other church members were there.  More dropped by for carry-out.  We had a GREAT time, laughed a lot, all of us with grown or "away" families...and I still got my book and my eggnog...and about 12 hours sleep.

        My time will come again someday to rise early and worry about kids, but right now I'm enjoying Christmas as a day of rest.  

        by revsue on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 12:44:22 PM PDT

•  Thanks for all you do, Tesvet

  You might suggest that since she is using you both as baby sitters, starting Jan. 1st, you will expect to be paid for your services.  $10.00 an hour would be cheap.  And I doubt her dad would be a full time care giver either.

  by JFinNe on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:57:52 AM PDT

  •  good idea but she doesn't work she goes to

    school one class in the day  and one at night  just to make sure she can't get a job   I think she's related to Maynard G Krebs

    by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 05:59:59 AM PDT

    •  Why did I already know that? :)

      by JFinNe on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:01:35 AM PDT

    •  You could charge her anyway

      and that might make her get a job

      by plf515 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:09:15 AM PDT

    •  If she is going to College she can get a job in

      the school library, between classes, stacking books or possibly some other campus job to earn some cash.

      by Mr SeeMore on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:25:02 AM PDT

      •  work is a 4 letter word to her rofl

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:49:16 AM PDT

    •  so she can payback

      by doing extras at home... cutting grass, raking leaves, cleaning, laundry...

      by RiaD on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:10:04 AM PDT

      •  rofl let me quit laughing that was to

        funny

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:15:06 AM PDT

      •  Yep

        there's always something that needs done somewhere. That might just cure what's ailing her real quick.

        Good for you, testvet. It's hardest to put your foot down with family (or extended family), but Ann Landers said it best--"nobody takes advantage of you unless you let them".

        Hang in there! Merry Christmas, and thank you for all that you do.

        by o the umanity on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 10:19:45 AM PDT

•  Merry Christmas, testvet

  Thanks for all the stuff you write.
  Next year another person gets elected president--Thank God!--that will make it the best year its been for some time

  by exlrrp on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:14:39 AM PDT

  •  yup no matter who it is it's gotta be better

    than Bush 43  there is no way it could be as bad or worse

    by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:19:44 AM PDT

    •  OMG, OMG!

      Throw salt over your sholder and knock on wood.  One thing that I have learned, in the last seven years, is that no matter how bad the Administration is, it can always get worse.  Picture Huckabee with his finger on "the Button", and his hand on the Bible.  Old Testament Law enforced by the DoJ and, "For Profit Police"......It can always get worse.
      Season's Greetings and Happy New Year, testvet.  :-)

      by Friend of the court on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:44:35 AM PDT

      •  naw a democrat IS getting elected and no way

        will that Baptist preacher be the next President of the US

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 08:46:41 AM PDT

•  my own dysfunctional family

  And may your year be better..

  I'm Jewish...and last night I took my 17 year old daughter to see my therapist( also Jewish)My husband who suffered from bi polar disorder killed himself in July. From what I understand the VA medical system is trying to say that soldiers suffering from PSTD are bi polar in order to deny benefits???

  About dysfunctional families...I did not realize until last night the effect my husbands disease had on my daughter. I realized that often times she felt like the grown up with my husband

  I feel for your situation

  by cybermome1207 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:21:44 AM PDT

  •  yes mental diseases are a family disease not

    just the affected person  the Army is calling the conditions  Personality Disorders or PDO  a few get labeled Bi polar  either way they are screwing them

    then on the other hand it took me more than three decades before I ever admitted I had a problem  up until then I blamed averyone and everything for my problems

    by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:26:10 AM PDT

    •  about mental health coverage

      Mike,

      I understand about denial...My husband denied he was  bi polar..And went on and off meds for years.When he took his own life he was on 8 medications: and none
      were working?

      Are there appeals after services are denied?

      What about soldiers who are suicidal?

      Lee

      by cybermome1207 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:35:28 AM PDT

      •  yes there are 4 appeal levels and if a vet is

        suicidal they are supposed to admit to lockdown ward for eval  but they are supposed to do that in community hospitals to.....

        by testvet6778 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:37:55 AM PDT

        •  how does the appeals work?

          Who advocates for the soldiers?

          by cybermome1207 on Tue Dec 25, 2007 at 06:41:19 AM PDT

    •  and don't forget