Elizabeth Edwards is my hero
Wed Dec 26, 2007 at 08:52:02 PM PDT
I've been thinking a lot about the Edwardses this holiday season as Iowa approaches and so much media attention is lavished on the Hillary-vs-Obama horserace. I've been their fan for about four years now (although I went into 2004 as a Howard Dean supporter). As a candidate in 2008 John Edwards is talking about the issues that concern me the most, especially the twin ticking time bombs of economic injustice and access to health care.
He's smart. He's progressive. He is committed to the wellbeing of working people. He's great on the stump. He's passionate. He's handsome and charming. He's got good hair and adorable children. Yes, there are a lot of great things about John Edwards. But the very best thing about him might be his wife, Elizabeth.
I have a theory that the single most revealing thing about a man is to know his wife. And in keeping with this theory, to me it speaks very well of John Edwards that he chooses to be married to a woman like Elizabeth. I knew from seeing her on TV and reading her book that she was smart, brave, kind, and beautiful. I learned a lot more about her in the course of a single afternoon and evening in Portland, Oregon almost exactly six months ago.
One day in mid-June I got a call from a friend on Edwards' Oregon steering committee. Elizabeth was coming to Portland in a few days. [I knew, of course! I had already bought a ticket to one of her events and I was anxious to get my copy of her book signed!] Did my husband Mike and I want to pick Elizabeth up at the airport and transport her to two events, then back to the airport? I was thrilled by the prospect. I checked the date with Mike and we were good to go. I blocked out that afternoon on my calendar and tried to restrain my giddiness as the day approached.
On the morning of the big day I made a little extra effort getting dressed for work, bracing myself for the inevitable "Interview today?" jokes. Elizabeth had started her day in Seattle and Mike was getting scheduling updates by phone. I met him at his office and we headed out to the airport in our rented minivan complete with ice chest stocked with Diet Coke and sliced red and green peppers. (OK, I confess, we also brought her a small box of handmade chocolate truffles from our favorite local confectioner, Moonstruck Chocolates.)
But when we arrived at the general aviation terminal we learned that Elizabeth would be delayed departing Seattle because Ann Coulter was appearing on Hardball that day, and Elizabeth wanted to call in to engage her. As we waited in the terminal, we enjoyed speculating about just what Elizabeth was saying.
Finally we got word that her plane had taken off from Boeing Field, and after a little while we were finally able to greet her and the two staff members she was traveling with. She looked GREAT. You would never have known that she was receiving treatment for cancer. She looked slim and vigorous and, OK, I'll say it, gorgeous. She got into the van, thanked us for picking her up and for the goodies, and immediately began asking us questions about ourselves, and our jobs, and about Portland, a city she had never visited before. [The Oregon primary is in May. Uh-huh. No wonder she'd never been here!]
The Oregon State Beavers had just defeated Elizabeth's alma mater, the University of North Carolina, in the College World Series. She had watched some of it on TV and launched into a well-informed discussion of the series and its sometimes-controversial umpiring. I told her that I occasionally had reason to visit Chapel Hill on business. We talked about places to stay and she volunteered, "Well, then, the next time you come to Chapel Hill, you should call me up and I'll drive YOU around!"
Soon we arrived at the site of her first event, a $75 reception with a cash bar at a downtown hotel. While Elizabeth rested and met with staff in a room upstairs, Mike and I went down to the ballroom to observe the preparations. A staff member was giving instructions to the volunteers at the check-in tables, and someone was checking the PA system. A few tables and chairs were scattered around but this would clearly be a standing room crowd. Soon a few early arrivals trickled in, including some friends and other familiar faces. The photographer arrived. So did a few more paying supporters.
Perhaps 150 people were in the room when Elizabeth arrived and began circulating. She paused to greet us and the photographer snapped a couple of shots I'll always treasure. She circulated through the room, pausing to speak with seemingly everyone, being photographed with the guests, signing her book for those who were carrying their copies.
She mingled for about 20 minutes before the introductions began. She spoke for about ten minutes and then took questions for half an hour. After the Q&A she came down from the stage and, as a line formed, she began speaking individually with those who still wanted a minute of her time or a photo, or both. She (along with me and one staff member) was literally the last person out of that ballroom. It was refreshingly different when I think about the way candidates and their spouses are routinely hustled in and out of side doors and back doors in the name of efficiency, security, or both.
We clambered back into the van and drove a few blocks to the private home in which the second event ($500 a head, and nicely catered) was taking place. A smaller crowd including state legislators, a former Portland mayor, and one state official who had been her law school classmate had gathered to hear what Elizabeth had to say. Once again she mingled, was introduced, spoke, and then took questions.
Many of the questions were similar at the two gatherings: how was her health, how was the campaign going, what would be the best way out of Iraq, how were the kids doing, what about that $400 haircut*, etc.
But here's the best part: the way she responded, and the way she behaved, were exactly the same at the $75 event as they were at the $500 event. She was every bit as forthcoming and just as respectful of the low-dollar donors as she was of the high-dollar donors. She answered all the questions at both events fully, with the wit, grace, and frankness that are her hallmarks. While the $500 contributors were enjoying their hors d'oeuvres I saw her quietly thanking the caterer's wait staff for their work. At the end of the $500 event she slipped out quietly to have dinner with her law school classmate, who had offered to drive her to the airport. Mike and I were off duty. I never did get my book signed, but I knew I had an infinitely more precious memory.
As I said above, I already knew that Elizabeth Edwards was smart, brave, kind, and beautiful. What I found out that day was that she was in every respect more so than I had imagined, and also funny, fierce, practical, gracious, generous, and a great strategic thinker. More importantly, she is a fully authentic person, who presents herself without quibbling or obfuscation, no matter whether her audience is two volunteers in a van, a few hundred low-dollar donors in a hotel ballroom, or a few dozen high-dollar donors in an expensive apartment. She speaks her mind with courage and conviction, including occasional expressions of disagreement with her husband (this was just a few days after she spoke out in favor of marriage equality during an appearance in San Francisco), and her husband accepts and embraces this trait with love and respect. It's hard to imagine most presidential candidates exhibiting the same equanimity.
I supported John Edwards before that day, but after spending a few hours with Elizabeth Edwards, I would walk though fire to put them into the White House.
