The Greatest Insult

I learned nine and a half years ago, through observation, that the worst offense to a Greek, at least in Greece, is to imply comparisons to the Turks.

I learned much earlier that words can hurt. And while I'm not always perfect in my delivery, I am immediate in apologizing in instances I've mis-spoken or am mis-taken.

I learned that you do not compare Greek cab drivers to Turkish cab drivers without intent to insult. Do not ask for Turkish coffee in a Greek restaurant, not even in authentic restaurants state-side.

And I know from personal experience that faggot anywhere, any time, from anyone -- including from one -- can hurt. It's either intentional or it's a mistake but smart people don't make mistakes like that; it's like mistakenly using the N-word.

It is unnecessary for every mention of Edwards to include mention of that word. It is unnecessary to use it again and again on the front page, even if it's to rub KKKoulter's nose in it -- because everyone within earshot, or sight line, sees it. And some of those people spent many years being tormented, abused, ashamed, and physically threatened by it. It's bad enough when it comes from those who hate us and worse when it comes from someone we're supposed to trust. The greatest insults hurt.

Some people don't want to hear it again. Thanks.

•  Flame away, I guess

  or tips if you agree.

  by PBnJ on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 07:34:33 PM PDT

  •  Who's a fag?

    I loved Sully's deconstruction of the Coulter text.

    It was such an intelligent inside perspective, especially:

    And for the slur to work, it must logically accept the premise that gay men are weak, effeminate, wusses, sissies, and the rest. A sane gay man has two responses to this, I think. The first is that there is nothing wrong with effeminacy or effeminate gay men - and certainly nothing weak about many of them. In the plague years, I saw countless nelly sissies face HIV and AIDS with as much courage and steel as any warrior on earth. You want to meet someone with balls? Find a drag queen.

    That said, I must admit that I do apply the word 'fag' to myself and others in lighthearted, familiar conversation. I've heard tell that black people do something similar with the word 'nigger'. But this does not at all invalidate your point.

    by Demi Moaned on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 07:43:27 PM PDT

    •  I usually split hairs...

      maybe fag is different from faggot, even though I don't use either. And I was far from nelly but that didn't mean that people couldn't tell.

      I appreciate Scully's dissection, but it still works regardless of one's effeminacy or lack of it.  

      I've also read the diaries here about the n-word and there are mixed emotions on that from African American commentors, too. Difference of opinion, perspectives and opinions is OK though I'm not sure I'd buy into the approach of 'taking back' or 'owning' the word; if that's the case, then straight people shouldn't be allowed to use it at all, much int he way that white people can't use the N-word.

      I still see it as an insult and the only thing I can relate that word to is the pain it caused me as a kid and I know I'm not the only one.

      by PBnJ on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 07:59:48 PM PDT

      •  Full disclosure

        I still see it as an insult

        No argument there.

        I appreciate Scully's dissection, but it still works regardless of one's effeminacy or lack of it.

        He addresses the other side of the question, too.

        Overall, I agree with the thrust of your diary (even recommended it). Whether or not I'm wrong to use the word 'fag' in conversation with gay friends is moot. The fact is we do it and no offense is either given or taken.

        So, to split hairs on my side: while I 100% agree that the usage in question was offensive, given the etymological relationship between 'fag' and 'faggot' I couldn't quite sign on to the idea that it was invariably and necessarily offensive irrespective of context.

        by Demi Moaned on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 08:14:17 PM PDT

        •  And I appreciate the rec

          :)

          by PBnJ on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 08:19:33 PM PDT

    •  Case in point

      by fabooj on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 08:24:44 PM PDT

•  Thanks

  I'm not even gay and I think the use of it over and over and over again, is the same thing when these people hear that a celebrity used the n-word and they manage to put it in every fucking diary.  It's like they get license to use the word over and over and over again.  Just makes them look kinda stupid.

  by fabooj on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 08:23:59 PM PDT

•  A girlfriend was telling

  me about how she hated the word bitch ,
  so I leaned over and whispered in her ear that she was a hot sexy bitch , she grined and said that was OK .

  Its not the word , its how its used .
  I will never tell anyone not to use any word .
  This whole game of you can't ever use that word is just a control game . An old old game .

  by indycam on Wed Mar 07, 2007 at 10:05:46 PM PDT