Wolfowitz Replacement Suggestion Diary: Where's Harriet?

Hey we know now ole Georgie's got a tough decision on his Karl's mind, so I thought I'd help him out, and call on all Koserati to help as well.

WHO SHOULD BE WOLFIE'S REPLACEMENT?

Well the obvious choice is Harriet Miers, but that didn't fly too well last time, so let me suggest...

NEO-CONS (emphasis on con)
Richard Perle
Donald Rumsfeld

I LIKE MIKE
Michael Chertoff
Michael Brown
Michael Jackson

INTERNATIONAL EXPERIENCE
Ahmed Chalabi
Curveball

RECENTLY LOOKING FOR WORK
Conrad Burns
George Allen
Tom Delay
George Tenet
Don Imus

CLOSE TO HOME
Jeb Bush
Neil Bush (He has banking experience!)

WILL NOT GET INSIDER DEALS FOR THEIR GIRLFRIEND
Mark Foley

SCANDAL-FREE
Barry Bonds (and his name sounds banky-like)
Jeffrey Skilling

WORLD BANK EXPERIENCE
Shaha Riza

DARK HORSES
Jerry Falwell

•  Blair will be out of a job

  I bet on Blair.

  by Chamonix on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:10:35 PM PDT

  •  I thought about Blair

    but he's not 'Merican.  I think he's outta luck, although he could show up as a death-eater in Harry Potter 6 or 7...

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:12:38 PM PDT

    •  Who's more 'Merican than Zombie Reagan? n/t

      by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:13:53 PM PDT

      •  Ron Zombie...

        the name's kinda catchy

        by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:15:44 PM PDT

        •  Isn't that a punk band? n/t

          by bleeding blue on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:17:01 PM PDT

          •  I don't know

            but a punk will most likely get appointed to the Bank.

            by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:24:30 PM PDT

          •  The 'n' and 'b' are side by side...

            ...on the keyboard. Perhaps he meant Rob.

            by Hillbilly Dem on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:25:58 PM PDT

      •  That's A Great

        Classic name.  Zombie Reagan.  Wish I could still find that webpage that came out after he died about his Zombie run for the White House.

        by vetman on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:48:43 PM PDT

        •  Here's one

          http://www.zombiereagan.com/

          But I like the pic in the CafePress shirts better:

          http://www.cafepress.com/...

          by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:59:20 PM PDT

    •  right

      the World Bank is always run by an American. I'm backing George Allen because, frankly, can you think of someone more competent? And more sensitive to international affairs?

      by Nathaniel Ament Stone on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:45:01 PM PDT

      •  Well...

        there's a bunch of guys down in the local dive bar here in my rural hometown Indiana who seem just as qualified.  And given that its Friday, they are ESPECIALLY qualified today.

        by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:49:57 PM PDT

      •  seeing how bush has overspent

        his political kapital he just might have to annoint someone competant this time.
        .
        .
        .

        or, he may send ANOTHER "fuck you" candidate to the WorldBank.
        It's hard to say.

        by sooner on Fri May 18, 2007 at 02:01:40 PM PDT

  •  MSM talking about Blair today

    It makes sense.   Blair came here to promote the war with Bush in news conference yesterday.

    Bush's poodle will be rewarded with something big.

    by Pink Lady on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:04:41 PM PDT

  •  Don't be silly

    He was so fabulous at the UN, it is bound to be John Bolton.

    by Shirl In Idaho on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:31:47 PM PDT

•  Tip Jar

  by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:11:14 PM PDT

  •  Very funny stuff!

    n/t

    by Oaklander on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:34:41 PM PDT

  •  How Could You Ever Leave Rick "Man On Dog"

    Santorum out of the RECENTLY LOOKING FOR WORK category when he would be sooooo appealing to the WB personnel.

    by MO Blue on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:49:04 PM PDT

    •  OMG

      Rick!  and that makes me remember that Ken Mehlman is looking for work as well...

      by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:55:27 PM PDT

•  Zombie Reagan!

  'Nuff said.

  by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:11:36 PM PDT

•  Harriet Miers???

  When I read your title, I thought you meant Harriet the Spy.  Now that would be an improvement over Wolfie...

  http://en.wikipedia.org/...

  by landrew on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:14:24 PM PDT

  •  LOL

    That was the first movie I ever fell asleep at.

    by Nathaniel Ament Stone on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:45:54 PM PDT

    •  Actually....

      long before it was a movie, it was a series of childrens books, which I enjoyed muchly in my younger days.

      by landrew on Fri May 18, 2007 at 02:48:56 PM PDT

•  Bernard Kerik

  He did great work as interim Minister of the Interior in Iraq.

  by dead letter office on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:15:10 PM PDT

  •  Whenever I see "Bernard Kerik"

    somehow I always think "David Berkowitz"

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:37:58 PM PDT

•  You forgot

  Poland Paul Bremer. And if I were a betting man...

  by brainwave on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:15:41 PM PDT

  •  Bremer is no good

    He has no experience with Arabian racehorses. He's not the right man for such an important job.

    by dead letter office on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:17:02 PM PDT

    •  True, that's a problem

      But on the plus side, he was actively involved in raping a country full of brown people and he was a miserable failure at his last job due to aggravated incompetence. That's gotta count for something in Bushland.

      by brainwave on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:20:26 PM PDT

      •  I guess so

        but I still think it's risky to put someone in a job of that importance if they haven't run a racehorse association or at the very least a professional baseball team.

        by dead letter office on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:22:17 PM PDT

    •  Speaking of which

      Did you forget Brownie?

      by leckavrea on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:11:11 PM PDT

      •  Brownie? Hell no...

        check the diary, near the top, under "I LIKE MIKE"

        by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:15:47 PM PDT

        •  Sorry, missed that

          Heckuva diary!

          by leckavrea on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:26:02 PM PDT

    •  Bremer: as they say about Wolfie

      "he couldn't manage a 2-car funeral."

      by Agathena on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:36:22 PM PDT

  •  Freakin Bremer

    How could I miss him?

    I guess that exposes that I also forgot Richard Armey, Oliver North, and G. Gordon Liddy...

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:17:44 PM PDT

    •  Oh yeah,

      and Satan

      by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:18:26 PM PDT

    •  And John Bolton, of course

      And if that doesn't work they can always throw Negroponte at the Worldbank. Your friendly neighborhood torture freakshow, BushCo's pointman for all odd jobs in countries full of brown people.

      by brainwave on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:23:19 PM PDT

      •  If You Think That The WB Personnel Were Ready

        to revolt about Wolfie, that IMO opinion would be mild compared to what would happen if Bush nominated Bolton.

        Negroponte would definitely be very representative of Bush's Human Rights Policies.

        by MO Blue on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:53:09 PM PDT

      •  Revoltin Bolton

        According to the Guardian, Ladbrokes gives Bolton odds of 16/1, so he's ahead of Blair, who they have at 25/1.

        by leckavrea on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:13:56 PM PDT

    •  You forgot Doug Feith, too

      Makes about as much sense as Bolton at the UN, so there is precedent :)

      by Tirge Caps on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:28:27 PM PDT

•  Milburn Drysdale.

      Late of the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills

  by Hillbilly Dem on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:16:47 PM PDT

  •  He could get a State Department job

    for Miss Jane

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:19:52 PM PDT

  •  and Jethro could be Vice President

    He's about a smart as the average Bush appoointee

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:23:28 PM PDT

•  How would Rummy end world poverty?

  Easy: bomb the poor.

  by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:17:45 PM PDT

  •  Me, damnit!

    I have no girlfriend.

    I'm perfect for the job.

    by lifexpert on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:20:37 PM PDT

    •  OK, but how are you at

      shaking down third-world countries?

      by bleeding blue on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:26:06 PM PDT

•  If I were president

  I would appoint the Dixie Chicks to jointly run the World Bank.

  by dead letter office on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:20:22 PM PDT

•  angelina...

  

  by james risser on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:20:28 PM PDT

•  Dan Quale?

  by Steven R on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:20:32 PM PDT

  •  Is that like "potatoe"? n/t

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 05:09:33 PM PDT

•  Jeff Gannon? n/t

  by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:22:55 PM PDT

•  Scooter Libby?

  He comes pre-convicted and everything!

  by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:23:41 PM PDT

  •  Pre-convicted!

    That's genius.  You have a future in government, va, or at least marketing...

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:27:48 PM PDT

  •  the other felon...

    ...in the white house, eliot abrams, is available!

    by james risser on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:41:15 PM PDT

  •  Pre-convicted

    How about Jack Abramoff?

    by leckavrea on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:23:25 PM PDT

•  rumor has it Gonzales will be available

  any day now.

  by dead letter office on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:25:03 PM PDT

•  possible picks...

  ken lay---that fucker is as dead as i am.

  the one who isn't jenna----what else does she do?

  paris hilton---that would be 'hot'!

  paul wolfowitz's girlfriend sharia---or whatever the fuck her name is.

  osama bin laden---maybe that would help find him?

  monica goodling---bring your bible and your beads!

  george 'pacman' jones---seems to be good with money.

  beetlejuice---from howard stern's show

  stephen colbert---he will bring american values to the table.

  by james risser on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:29:13 PM PDT

  •  Jack Abramoff?

    I would certainly provide a good reason to give that poor hero a pretzeldental pardon and get him out of the big house.  

    by Eikyu Saha on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:26:01 PM PDT

•  Your scope is too limited.

  Remember, the Republicans live in fiction.

  How about Lord Voldemort?

  by pepito on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:33:48 PM PDT

  •  Too earthy for the GOP

    note a comment below where I suggest "Satan"...

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:35:19 PM PDT

  •  How about Sauron? n/t

    by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:38:52 PM PDT

    •  He couldn't even keep the Ring n/t

      by jfdunphy on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:09:49 PM PDT

•  I hear that Bush is leaning towards

  Uncle Scrooge McDuck.  I mean, it's a bank we're talkin' 'bout....right?

  by jazzmaniac on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:37:47 PM PDT

•  Neil Bush, LOL, Loved your candidate list!

   Yeah with his experience in Silverado he could get the job done!
  To paraphrase Kruchev " He will bury you!"

  by Lunch Lady on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:38:57 PM PDT

  •  It was Neil or Harriet

    for the headliner of the diary...could have gone either way.  Bush choosing Neil is funnier, but choosing Harriet is more idiotic.

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:42:26 PM PDT

    •  We laugh now...

      Just wait 'til next week.  It'll happen.  And if not Neil or Harriet, then Bolton or some other idiot from the list.  

      by Eikyu Saha on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:28:27 PM PDT

•  someone we can respect!

  

  by james risser on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:40:14 PM PDT

  •  Sorry, 'War Czar' is already filled n/t

    by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:56:52 PM PDT

•  Quite frankly...

  ....I wouldn't mind Paul O'Neill. If you've read his book, you'd know that he would care more about things like ACTUALLY getting Africans clean water at an affordable cost, rather than granting gigantic loans for unnecessary works projects, which ultimately put undue burdens on developing countries.

  by Doug in SF on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:43:56 PM PDT

  •  Paul O'Neill

    was a great right fielder for the Yankees and a good guy...the Reds should NEVER have traded him.

    by Rex Freedom on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:46:30 PM PDT

  •  Hasn't he burned his bridges

    to the Rove crowd?  

    by Eikyu Saha on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:29:55 PM PDT

    •  Absolutely...

      ....I was actually providing a serious choice, with all due respect to the good humor of the diarist. In that vein, I think Harriet Myers would be a great choice.

      by Doug in SF on Fri May 18, 2007 at 04:16:03 PM PDT

      •  Makes me wonder

        how a guy like O'Neill got nominated that crowd to begin with.  There must have been some je-ne-sais-quoi about him that smacked of incompetent obnoxious chimpiness.  He sure doesn't look the part.  

        by Eikyu Saha on Fri May 18, 2007 at 05:24:08 PM PDT

        •  I think...

          ....they saw "extraction industry CEO," and "Republican," and figured he was one of them.

          by Doug in SF on Sat May 19, 2007 at 07:54:06 AM PDT

•  I'm Betting

  That Wolfafits will take the Food & Beverage Mgr position.  But nothing near the action.

  At last count, Bush has about 348 Food & Beverage Mgrs on staff.  And 31 Laundry Mgrs, 189 Room Services Mgrs, 46 Countroom Directors and 3 Public Relations Coordinators.

  by vetman on Fri May 18, 2007 at 12:46:19 PM PDT

  •  Will he get his own TV show, too? n/t

    by vawolf on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:04:11 PM PDT

    •  Good Idea

      Maybe some T&A around his sorry mug would help humanize him a bit.

      To change pace, the show should be live from Munster, Indiana (a short drive from the Casino's on the Lake in Hammond).  The outfit will guarantee his safety unless he starts making trouble for Bush or Cheney.

      by vetman on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:19:54 PM PDT

•  Reasonably qualified people include

  the current vp of the European Central Bank, Lucas Papademos .... who certainly knows more than Blair on technical issues ...

  by jfdunphy on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:08:59 PM PDT

•  Any recent graduate of Regent University,

  Messiah College, Bob Jones, or Liberty University will do. Monica Goodling, now--she's looking for employment.

  Or how about Michael Ledeen's daughter, who did such fine work scuttling the infrastructure under the Iraq Provisional govt.?

  by revbludge on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:18:08 PM PDT

  •  Don't forget

    Patrick Henry College.  They're the main source for government interns these days.

    by pat of butter in a sea of grits on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:22:14 PM PDT

•  Any of the fired US Attorneys

  who already have passports.

  by Agathena on Fri May 18, 2007 at 01:35:19 PM PDT