Sen. Brownback Mauled by Wolf-Like Creature During Debate

Tragedy struck the Republican National Debate last night as Senator Brownback was attacked by what witnesses describe as a "wolf-like" creature.  The attacked happened shortly after Senator Brownback's response to a question on whether or not he believed in Evolution.  A few seconds after raising his hand in disagreement with the alleged "theory", a ferocious "wolf-like" animal, attacked the Senator and began to maul him.

Fortunately, before the creature could do any serious damage to Brownback the animal shot to death by six of the nine other Republican candidates who happen to be brandishing a loaded weapon during the debate.  

In an unrelated story, CNN correspondent and debate moderator Wolf Blitzer went missing shortly before the incident and has yet to be found.

•  I think you mean. . .

  by six of the nine other Republican candidates who happen to be garnishing a loaded weapon

  brandishing.

  Unless they're hedging their Presidential bets by simultaneously competing on America's Top Chef -- which, judging by the polls, might not be such a bad idea.

  by LarryInNYC on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:15:06 PM PDT

  •  They present their bullshit with such care,

    garnishing it with guns for the gun-nuts, embryos for the pro-lifers, bashed gays for the Pastor Teds...I think they'd do quite well on America's Top Chef...

    by Arturo52 on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:18:15 PM PDT

  •  I figured it was pepper spray.

    by blueteam on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:18:58 PM PDT

  •  You'll need a salad shooter...

    ... to properly garnish your loaded weapon.

    hink

    by MrHinkyDink on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:28:52 PM PDT

    •  oops

      You're right, I meant brandishing

      by chewie333 on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:33:43 PM PDT

  •  oops

    thanks for catching that.

    by chewie333 on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:34:29 PM PDT

  •  it funnier that way!

    by shpilk on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 10:07:25 PM PDT

•  If they have a deadlock in Minneapolis,

  perhaps the Republican candidates should have a shootout.  The last one standing gets the honor of being shot down by the voters in November 2008.  The others would be spared the misery of seeing the results on Election Night. (snark, with relutance)

  by Randall Sherman on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 08:46:05 PM PDT

•  did this creature ask anyone to raise it's hand?

  by shpilk on Mon Jun 11, 2007 at 10:07:56 PM PDT

•  Brownback's stance on abortion rights is insane

  Brownback stands firm against abortion

  by redstatehatemonitor on Tue Jun 12, 2007 at 02:41:01 AM PDT