With Republicans, You Don't Have to Make This Stuff Up

In Fort Lauderdale our Mayor (it's a non-partisan position, but he's always actively supported Republicans from Bush on down to recently defeated Clay Shaw) has draw a lot of heat for trying to justify spending $250,000 on an automated toilet at the beach because it will keep unhappy (he refuses to use the word gay) men from having illicit sex in the restrooms. This despite a police department statement that this is not a problem in Fort Lauderdale. Facts be damned, he thinks it's a problem, so it must be.

Well today comes the news report that indeed, in Merritt Island, up the coast a bit from Fort Lauderdale, that an undercover police officer arrested a man for offering to perform oral sex inside a park restrooom....wait for it.....wait for it...the man was.....

Republican State Representative (District 32) Bob Allen, married, father of one.

Who knew? It's actually married Republican men that we need protection from at the restrooms at our beaches.

I would have to say that the Fort Lauderdale mayor definitely owes the gay and lesbian community an apology!

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the sense of humor the universe has.

•  Tips and comments

  Always appreciated

  by kansasr on Wed Jul 11, 2007 at 11:53:14 PM PDT

•  What is an automated toilet?

  and how do they stop gay sex?

  by inHI on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:04:57 AM PDT

  •  I didn't want to be the one to have to ask :P

    by dantyrant on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:08:36 AM PDT

  •  I was wondering the same thing.

    This is what I found.

    The robo-john the city might buy for $250,000 or more allows occupants to stay inside for only a short time before the door opens. Probably not enough time for "illegal sex," Naugle figures.

    Here's the entire article from the Sun-Sentinel.

    by Groucho Marxist on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:09:29 AM PDT

    •  How much time should illegal sex take?

      And how can the users of public toilets everywhere assure themselves that even after eating the dodgiest of foods that they can do their business within the time limit before the toilet ejects you?

      by dantyrant on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:31:41 AM PDT

      •  I'm not sure, but....

        the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that the mayor is not against gay sex, but sex acts that take too long. Well, that and people with irritable bowel syndrome.

        by Groucho Marxist on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:55:27 AM PDT

      •  Nevermind that -

        how long does shitting take? Geez.

        by pucklady on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 06:36:16 AM PDT

  •  You would have to ask

    The Mayor of Fort Lauderdale about that one !

    by kansasr on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:15:38 AM PDT

  •  See, it automatically detects teh gayz

    And traps them inside for hot man love with hypocrite Republicans.

    Sheesh. This "straight" Republican man crush on all things gay is just funny.

    by AggieDemocrat on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 04:13:52 AM PDT

  •  If it's like the ones we had in Paris

    a few years back, you put in a coin to unlock the door to a molded plastic "facility". Once you have finished, you exit the thing, and a wash cycle prepares it for the next customer.

    These johns are sufficiently off-putting to dampen any desire one might have to engage in any conceivable (so to speak) sexual act.

    by unclejohn on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 05:28:00 AM PDT

•  if he was a Dem, he could have tried the claim

  that he was "taking a survey for the ACLU"...that's what one married man claimed after he was caught soliciting sex with men at a local rest stop. It's a great line: "I was taking a survey for the ACLU." Why, how very gay-friendly of him...

  by QuickSilver on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:08:00 AM PDT

•  They'll probably change this quickly

  But on Rep. Allen's Fl. House web page, his recreational activities are listed as:

  Recreational Interest: water sports

  by kansasr on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:24:58 AM PDT

•  Automated toilet for the FL State House?

  Who knows what sort of quid pro quo Rep. Allen might be involved in on his office's current toilet?

  by dantyrant on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:29:31 AM PDT

  •  Term limits?

    by ruleoflaw on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 02:44:42 AM PDT

•  Repubs and OB/Gyns need to practice their love

  by MagisterLudi on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 12:38:15 AM PDT

•  Saw this story

  yesterday. Talk about your family values. And, Mr. Allen was  offering the oral end of the deal. Wonder how that blissful marriage is doing today?

  by RustyBrown on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 02:48:41 AM PDT

  •  Some value, anyway

    At least it is more blessed to give than to receive.

    by prodigal on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 03:37:14 AM PDT

    •  Heard that

      somewhere.

      by RustyBrown on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 04:30:41 PM PDT

•  Ain't life sweet

  sometimes?

  by luckylizard on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 04:18:50 AM PDT

•  Why do the homophobes

  spend more time thinking about gay sex than a closeted teenager? Hmmmm.

  by OHdog on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 05:17:40 AM PDT

•  No wonder he calls them "unhappy" men

  How much more revealing can one be?

  by pucklady on Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 06:37:49 AM PDT