Last night, I enjoyed a stimulating point/counterpoint conversation prompted by the results of yesterday's 2008 straw poll on Daily Kos, in which Al Gore dominated the hypothetical field with about 385% of the vote.
Nevermind the fact that I had this conversation with myself. It was compelling discourse nonetheless.
Luckily, I tape recorded this conversation (with no help from the NSA, by the way), and this morning, I've transcribed it for your reading pleasure. Perhaps after reading it, you can tell me which "me" has the best take on Albert Gore.
Me: BWAAAAAAH! Did you see this?
Me too: What?
Me: These fantasy straw polls on Daily Kos - one with Al Gore, and one without. (Note the author's ability to speak in web links).
Me too: Yeah? Did Al get any votes?
Me: Um...only about 68% of `em.
Me too: Cool! Six years too late, but cool.
Me: Surely, you can't be serious.
Me too: I can be serious, and...
Both: (In unison) ...don't call me Shirley.
Me: Very funny.
Me too: You do know that Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000, right? You do remember watching CNN for 47 straight days, don't you? Gore was completely ripped off.
Me: True dat. But that doesn't mean we should elect him now. It's patronizing, actually - to support Gore now so that some 8-year wrong can be righted.
Me too: It's not just that. He'd be a great president.
Me: Great. Until the day we die, we're going to just keep electing the same families over and over. Bush, Clinton, Bush, Gore, Clinton, Bush, Clinton...
Me too: That's one too many Clintons.
Me: Chelsea's eligible to run in 2020.
Me too: Let's see that Inconvenient Truth movie, then maybe you'll change your mind about Gore.
Me: I'll see the movie, but we really need to get over this fascination with Al Gore. He has the personality of a common garden vegetable.
Me too: He's loosened up quite a bit. You saw that Saturday Night Live thing, right?
Me: Oh, for cryin' out loud! You people need to let go of the past. Gore had his chance. He couldn't even carry his home state! We need someone new, someone feisty - a real Democrat, like Russ Feingold.
Me too: (sarcastically) Yes, I'm sure a single, twice-divorced Jew who supports gay marriage will play really well in Peoria.
Me: Peoria's in a blue state.
Me too: You're missing the point. Gore is electable. Feingold is not.
Me: Says you. The non-Gore straw poll went completely for Feingold.
Me too: Listen, these straw polls are good entertainment, but Kossacks don't represent Main Street democrats. They're so far left, they can't even see the center from where they sit. Jimmy Carter would be too conservative for Daily Kos.
Me: You know we're one of them, right? We're a Kossack.
Me too: (inaudible)
Me: Don't look at me in that tone of voice. The only reason you and these other Kossacks want Gore to be President is because you feel sorry for him. Poor Al gets elected by the people, then unelected by a few hanging chads, that Katherine Harris bitch and a wingnut Supreme Court. So you think the Presidency is rightfully his.
Me too: Electing Gore would be the ultimate "fuck you" to Karl Rove.
Me: Electing Hillary Clinton would be the ultimate "fuck you" to Karl Rove.
Me too: Don't get me started...
Me: So you'd vote for Gore.
Me too: Actually, I have a better idea.
Me: Which is?
Me too: How `bout we worry about winning the Congress in 5 months, and worry about 2008 later?
Me: Good point. (lengthy pause) So, whaddya think of this Ned Lamont guy?
Me too: I'm going to bed.