Dear Senator Stevens:
I know when you lose an important vote on a pet project like raping the land for oil in ANWR or getting funding for bridges to nowhere, it's very discouraging and makes you want to pick up your toys and stomp home like a small child.
Please don't resign. Who else can my fellow citizens of Washington state count on to threaten the Puget Sound with oil supertankers and the potential of another Exxon Valdez catastrophe? Imagine how boring our lives might be without the specter of sullied waters and dying wildlife brought to us by a bellowing old man who doesn't even live here.
Perhaps a better description of the oil wells would have helped you. I don't think even the people of Alaska would want tidy little "rows of outhouses" in their state. I can't think of anyone, short of some backwoods redneck relatives, who would want an outhouse within 3 miles of their property. Perhaps if you re-packaged the bullshit you're selling (no pun intended) as something other than a bathroom, you could get the votes needed to pass your initiative.
Sincerely,
Ken Camp
Olympia, Washington