In the running commentary on Laura Bush in today's
Media Notes, Howie Points us to the following in his discussion of how some on the right didn't react too kindly to Laura Bush's jokes about the President. Keep in mind this immediately follows an excerpt from The American Spectator.
President's Intern (no, I don't think it's that one) has "never been so disappointed in anyone as I am in the First Lady, Laura Bush. Mrs. Bush, speaking at the recent Correspondents Dinner took it upon herself to embarrass and humilate President Bush in the eyes of the entire world.
"How can President Bush stand up to those North Koreans and Iranians now that they know his manhood is suspect? Mrs. Bush made it clear that the President goes to bed every night at 9 p.m. without doing anything 'exciting'. Well, perhaps saving the Free World from terrorism all day long just makes a man tired. Perhaps Mrs. Bush in her dowdy nightgowns just doesn't appeal to a man who can have any woman in the world -- assuming he weren't a righteous Christian.
More below...
"So what if President Bush isn't interested in sex. He's got other interests like putting tinpot dictators in their place. You don't need a big penis (excuse the expression) to invade Iraq. In fact, if President Clinton hadn't been having sex with anything that moves, maybe he would have had the time to invade a country or two. . . .
"You can bet that back home in Texas, when a wife says she's out watching male strippers, those concealed weapons Texans carry become unconcealed quick enough. If my Momma ever said anything like that about Daddy in public, you can be sure I'd be half an orphan with a father on probation."
But I'd bet the prez signed off on the monologue in advance.
Before we go any further, we should see what he put at the end of the Media Notes column today:
Finally, a Daily Kos poster named acbonin criticized The Washington Post's Brian Faler for writing an "occasionally accurate article" on whether the FEC should impose requirements on bloggers. Then he writes:
"As Brian Saler frames it..."
Faler, Saler. Looks like occasional accuracy isn't limited to the Old Media.
That's especially funny because of what I found at President's Intern...
First, President's Intern's blogger profile:
Nancy Jo
Age: 23
Gender: female
Astrological Sign: Aquarius
Zodiac Year:: Dog
Industry: Government
Occupation: Intern
Location: Washington : D.C.
About Me
Boys have told me I'm pretty although I don't believe physical features are that important. A life spent awash in the glory of God is all we can ask for. I intend to devote my life to doing good in the world, for God and for George W. Bush.
Interests
Christianity, George W. Bush, NASCAR, AM radio, sewing, charity, ant farms
Favorite Movies
Passion of the Christ, The Greatest Story Ever Told, The Robe, Tootsie
Favorite Music
Celine Dion, Clint Black, CRAP (Christian Rappers of America Please)
Favorite Books
The Bible (New Testament), The Bible (Old Testament), The Ann Coulter Diet Plan, Rush Limbaugh's Drug-free and Loving It, Rush Limbaugh's Be Fat and Love Yourself
Really Howard? What the hell were you thinking? But it gets even better!
Let's look at some of the other posts!
We need an amendment to the 10 Commandments
As a true Christian, I worship only one God, one president and one sport -- NASCAR.
NASCAR is to American Christianity what a public beheading is to Muslims -- an event that brings families together.
Back home in Waco at the DeVry Evangelical Institute where I got my degree as a Registered Divinity Assistant, there's been some debate lately as to whether Christians attending NASCAR events are breaking the Law of God as set out in the Ten Commandments.
As far as I'm concerned, the Ten Commandments are the final word of God. When He said, "Thou shalt not kill," God really meant it except for cases like someone breaking into your home or as collateral damage when America needs to free a country like Iraq.
You'll probably remember in Exodus 20 the Commandment that says: "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." Now a lot of folks such as really over-the-top religious people, especially those bearded Jewish folk with the strings hanging out their pants, believe this Commandment means absolutely no work on the sabbath -- just prayer and rest.
But from what I know of God, there are no absolutes. Like He says, "Don't kill" and then He gives you a whole list of people you can kill like wives who mess around or slaves who run away. So God is pretty flexible.
Huh?
Still more:
Introducing...The Vegetative Patients' Bill of Rights
Wow. I just met the Reverend Senator Doctor Bill Frist. When I shook his hand, I felt I was touching a holy man.
The Reverend Senator was over here at the White House to meet up with Karl Rove to discuss the prevention of vegetative patients every dying again. Basically, Republicans would like to turn America into a Garden of Eden for vegetables...sorry, vegetative patients.
After Terry Schiavo's life was senselessly taken from her in the prime of her life, the Bush administration saw an opportunity to fight for what Republicans have always believed in: that no Christian should ever have to die under any circumstances (unless he's a criminal or doesn't have sufficient medical insurance).
With the Reverend Senator Frist leading the charge in the Senate, the Bush administration will propose The Vegetative Patients' Bill of Rights. Under this Republican-inspired legislation, the brain will no longer be considered that important. In determining life, the brain carries no more weight than any other organ such as the spleen or pancreas. The Bush administration believes it has the support of its fundamentalist Christian base when it comes to minimizing the value of thinking.
Howard, this looks terrible after the shit you talked about acbonin. Are you embarrased yet?
Ok, one last one...
I attend my first Jewish ceremony
Last weekend had a lot of significance for me. First the Pope died. Although I'm not a Catholic (for sure), I was still saddened. After all, he and President Ronald Reagan worked hand in hand to bring down Communism in Eastern Europe, sort of like Batman and Robin (President Reagan was Batman).
Then I attended my first Bark Mitzvah. Muffy Wolfowitz, one of my co-interns, invited the White House staff over to Georgetown (I'm so pleased that President Bush has been recognized in his own time) to celebrate the 13th birthday of her dog, Kissinger, with God.
Back home in Waco, when someone turns thirteen, you generally buy him a rifle and hope he doesn't turn it against his classmates. But among Jewish people, 13 signifies something special, which I don't really know what but I know it's not unlucky.
For the occasion, Kissinger wore a "yarumklup" or something on his head like the defunct Pope wears and a little "tell us", which is a prayer shawl. I understand that if he were a little boy, he would have read from the Jewish Bible which is a lot like the American Bible except it leaves out all the parts about Jesus being the son of God and the Jews killing him.
Anyway, for the ceremony, a Rabbi in a purple suit sang over Kissinger for a while and then gave him a Milkbone. Then there was a big party with lots of food I didn't recognize. The Rabbi later went around telling anyone who would listen that he wasn't wearing any underwear.
I'd never realized until last weekend how religious Muffy must be, giving her dog such a lovely opportunity to enjoy the blessing of God.
I guess getting played really isn't the exclusive domain of the "New Media."
Where were those WMDs again?
-The Oklahoma Hippy