Daily Kos

On sex

Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 09:58:23 AM PDT

What a strange topic. It's almost impossible to write, let alone to even think, rationally about the subject. When viewed in strictly biological terms it's a normal function of the reproductive system but with sensory feedback way out of proportion to what it aims to achieve, in humans at least. In most animals it makes more sense as a temporary "pon far" like episode; a ritual madness clearly oriented toward the act of reproduction. When the season is passed the animal can get down to normal activities without preoccupation. Not so with the "reasoning" species.

We get horribly bent out of shape about whether we're doing it with the right partner(s), in the right positions, with appropriate gender(s), and most of all whether it's often enough. To evaluate all these criteria we watch others closely to see if they are "doing it right" and when we see evidence of failure- identified by divergence from the norm which is always sketchy ("everybody lies about sex" -Lazarus Long) we are momentarily jubilant that we must be on the right track after all. If we can identify clearly those who are doing it wrong we can begin to relieve the preoccupation momentarily, but it never really vanishes entirely.

A healthy sex life may just be the ultimate holy grail we humans can find, and possibly it is an unconscious source of our evaluation of self-worth. The possessor of the grail would presumably never need to discuss it, so my introduction of this topic might be seen to be revelatory of the status of my quest. Those who can't stop talking might be either pathetically lost in the struggle or else they are so indulgent in their joy of possession as to want to describe every facet of its shiny goodness for all. I would posit that this is another indication the grail has slipped from their hands and their search must go on.

With some trepidation I voice this simple request.... discuss?

Poll

Do you lie about sex?

45%11 votes
54%13 votes

| 24 votes | Vote | Results

Tags: sex (all tags) :: Previous Tag Versions

Permalink | 10 comments

  •  Sex tips jar n/t (4+ / 0-)

    "People should not vote for any Republican, because they're dangerous, dishonest and self-serving." - a lifelong Republican

    by Max Wyvern on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 09:55:44 AM PDT

    •  So far... (2+ / 0-)

      Recommended by:
      TiaRachel, ormondotvos

      a slight majority of poll respondents are lying about never lying about sex, while a significant minority are lying by claiming that they lie about sex, implying they don't, and since everyone lies about sex, this also is actually a lie. I'll accept this as proof that everyone lies about sex (in my teens I clung to that bit of wisdom desperately).

      "People should not vote for any Republican, because they're dangerous, dishonest and self-serving." - a lifelong Republican

      by Max Wyvern on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:43:15 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Sex (4+ / 0-)

    is being vunerable
    to yourself... to someone else

    it's not always easy to be who you become in those moments... it sometimes feels like an alien being took over... one that has no relationship to the YOU in the other 20, 21, 22 or 23 hours of your day...

    SEX is a playground, an archeological dig, it's absurd, a comedy, loving somebody, a vacation, making poetry in grunts and groans... and, if you didn't know... kissing burns tons of calories

    go ahead, earthlings... give in and enjoy it!!!!!!!

    "Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop" Gus McCrae

    by pfiore8 on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:10:44 AM PDT

    •  Well, I tried it onest and didn't much like it. (1+ / 0-)

      Recommended by:
      Pandoras Box, pfiore8

      And then I tried it agin, and WOOOWSER!  Yessirreebob!  PANT, PANT!  Couldn't wait to try it again.  

      And now, sad to say, my chair massager is as good as sex, as I remember it.  :-)  One of the few (and beleive me, they are damned few!) joys of getting old is that you are not consumed by hornyness.

      A private gyn office offering full gyn services including abortion care to 18 weeks.

      by william f harrison on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:21:46 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Amen........ (2+ / 0-)

        Recommended by:
        Pandoras Box, pfiore8

        I do not miss the battle with my passions.

        It allows me to think more clearly, and be more productive.

        "Virtus Junxit Mors Non Separabit"

        by Fuzzy5150 on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:25:08 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  When does it start to tail off? (2+ / 0-)

        Recommended by:
        Pandoras Box, pfiore8

        I just turned half a century and I'm hornier than ever.

        "People should not vote for any Republican, because they're dangerous, dishonest and self-serving." - a lifelong Republican

        by Max Wyvern on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:37:51 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  if you're lucky... it never completely does (0+ / 0-)

          good for you!

          "Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop" Gus McCrae

          by pfiore8 on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:42:53 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  It's just what it is. (1+ / 0-)

            Recommended by:
            pfiore8

            Sexual dimorphism is evolution's way of discouraging parasites by varying the genetic structure of humans. And others.

            Richard Dawkins "The Extended Phenotype" explains it all.

            The state of excitation just makes sure you do something that keeps the species alive. If your ancestors hadn't mated, you wouldn't be here.

            Enjoy sex, and having to breathe, and eat, etc. It's how you work.

            Oh, and don't forget to subscribe to DailyKos. Subscriptions are sex to Kos.

            •  hey ormond... (0+ / 0-)

              stay tuned... am now a contributing editor for a new site about to launch in a week or so... and there are some very talented (and well-regarded people from here) on board...

              so i hope you come and visit us (and me)... but i'll still see you here

              ps... i don't care so much about the mechanics of sex...  i like the lie my emotional self tells me about love

              so much better that way...

              have a hug { { { ormond } } }

              "Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop" Gus McCrae

              by pfiore8 on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 05:31:15 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

      •  men are different than women, i can tell you (2+ / 0-)

        Recommended by:
        Pandoras Box, marykk

        we like the contact... it isn't alway about being horny... or even sex... sometimes it's just about the sweating and the coupling and being that close to someone...

        and if you're past the horny stage, try backrubs and footrubs... really, just about as good and it's intimate and cozy... and no crazy positions or putting  your back out of whack...

        "Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop" Gus McCrae

        by pfiore8 on Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:42:11 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

Permalink | 10 comments