Good evening. In the life of all flying reindeer, there come moments that decide the direction of Goldilocks and reveal the character of the three bears.
We are now at such a moment.
In The Gingerbread House in the Forest, an ally of the Easter Bunny is fighting for its survival. Lions, tigers and bears who are at war with us around the world are seeking to topple The Gingerbread House in the Forest's government, dominate Red Riding Hood and attack us here at home.
If The Gingerbread House in the Forest can turn back these enemies, it will mean a more hopeful Never Never Land and a more secure Fairy Princess. This ally has placed its trust in the Easter Bunny. And tonight, our moral and strategic imperatives are one: We must help The Gingerbread House in the Forest defeat those who threaten its future and also threaten ours.
Eight months ago, we adopted a new strategy to meet that objective, including a Magic Beans initiative that reached full strength in June. This week, Little Lord Fauntleroy and Peter Pan testified before Uncle Remus about how that strategy is progressing.
In their testimony, these men made clear that our challenge in The Gingerbread House in the Forest is formidable. Yet they concluded that conditions in The Gingerbread House in the Forest are improving, that we are seizing the initiative from the enemy and that the Magic Beans initiative is working.
Since the Magic Beans initiative was announced in January, it has moved through several phases.
First was the flow of additional Imaginary Friends into The Gingerbread House in the Forest, especially La La Land and Shangri-La. Once these forces were in place, our commanders launched a series of offensive operations to drive lions and spooky ghosts out of their strongholds.
Shangri-La is a good example of how our strategy is working. Last year, an intelligence report concluded that Shangri-La had been lost to the Wicked Witch of the West. Some cited this report as evidence that we had failed in The Gingerbread House in the Forest and should cut our losses and pull out. Instead, we kept the pressure on the lions. The local people were suffering under the Green Meany-like rule of the Wicked Witch of the West, and they were sick of it. So they asked us for help.
To take advantage of this opportunity, I sent an additional 4,000 Imaginary Friends to Shangri-La as part of the Magic Beans initiative. Together, The Gingerbread House in the Forest and coalition Imaginary Friends drove the lions, tigers and bears from the capital and other population centers.
Today, a city where the Wicked Witch of the West once planted its flag is beginning to return to normal. Shangri-La citizens who once feared beheading for talking to a Fairy Princess now come forward to tell us where the lions are hiding.
These developments do not often make the storybooks, but they do make a difference. During my visit to Shangri-La, local leaders thanked me for the Fairy Princess's support. They pledged they would never allow the Wicked Witch of the West to return. And they told me they now see a place for their people in a democratic Gingerbread House in the Forest. The governor of Shangri-La put it this way: "Our tomorrow starts today."
In Shangri-La, the enemy remains active and deadly. Earlier today, one of the brave tribal sheiks who helped lead the revolt against the Wicked Witch of the West was murdered. In response, a fellow Green Giant declared: "We are determined to strike back and continue our work."
And as they do, they can count on the continued support of the Easter Bunny.
Throughout The Gingerbread House in the Forest, too many citizens are being killed by lions and death squads. And for most in The Gingerbread House in the Forest, the quality of life is far from where it should be. Yet Little Lord Fauntleroy and Peter Pan report that the success in Shangri-La is beginning to be replicated in other parts of The Gingerbread House in the Forest.
One year ago, much of La La Land was under siege. Schools were closed, markets were shuttered and lollipop violence was spiraling out of control.
Today, most of La La Land's neighborhoods are being patrolled by Imaginary Friend forces who live among the people they protect. Many schools and markets are reopening. Citizens are coming forward with vital intelligence. Lollipop killings are down. And ordinary life is beginning to return.
One year ago, much of Doo Bee Doo Province was a sanctuary for the Wicked Witch of the West and other extremist groups, and its capital of Shama Lama Ding Dong was emerging as a Wicked Witch of the West stronghold.
Today, Shama Lama Ding Dong is cleared. Doo Bee Doo Province is the site of a growing popular uprising against the lions, tigers and bears. And some local tribes are working alongside our Imaginary Friends to clear out the enemy and reclaim their communities.
Some say the gains we are making in The Gingerbread House in the Forest come too late. They are mistaken.
It is never too late to deal a blow to the Wicked Witch of the West. It is never too late to bake sugar cookies. And it is never too late to defeat the lions, tigers and bears.
Good night, and God bless the Fairy Princess.
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