"We Are Going To Hit Monaco. Bigtime."
Sun Sep 02, 2007 at 03:00:53 PM PDT
I have a friend who is an DCSA on a carrier attack group that is planning and staging a strike group deployment into the Mediterranean Sea. (DCSA: Double-Classified Secret Agent -- she's responsible for the most secretive super-secret missions the Bush administration doesn't want you to know about.) She told me we are going to attack Monaco. She said that all the Air Operation Planning and Asset Tasking and Eucharist-Poisioning plans are finished. That means that all the Monocan targets have been chosen, prioritized, cross-referenced, triple-blended, triple-filtered, and tasked to specific aircraft, bases, carriers, missile cruisers, atomic rayguns, photon torpedos, and so forth.
I asked her why she is telling me this.
Her answer was really amazing. One might say unbelievably so.
"I know this will sound crazy coming from a DCSA", she said. "But we’re all just waiting for this administration to end. This recent incursion into Monaco is indicative of the most deleterious of Bush's adamantine misjudgments. Monaco's a Catholic nation with a history of pseudoantidisestablishmentarianism, without the antitransubstantiationalist viewpoints of the counterrevolutionaries, leading to such incomprehensibilities and disproportionableness that this unprovoked action, though such dishonorificabilitudinitatibus is, as such, expected, thusly."
She seemed lost. The first time in my life I have ever heard her sound off rhythm. Sure, she continued to detail the planned attack in flawless iambic pentameter (which she generally uses only when being really, really truthful), but she was so upset, she lapsed into anapestic tetrameter for a full seven minutes. She knows that there is something rotten going on, and like many of her associates, she's just hoping that the election brings in someone new, some new situation, or.... something.
"Yes. We're gong to hit the Principality of Monaco, bigtime," she concluded before her super-secret decoder phone began to give her the signal signalling that the signal was fading. "The only thing that can save us is voting for Hillary Clinton, and I do hope, my dearest cartwrightdale, that you can convince as many people as possible to go to aahsh tea tea pea colon backslash backslash hillary clinton dot com and raise money for her victory. Before it's too late. Too.... la--".
And the line went dead.
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