John Edwards hates Bruce Springsteen. He said so. Well John Edwards himself didn’t say so but his Iowa Strategist Mudcat Saunders or Mudflap Saunders, whatever, said so. Well he actually didn’t say that exactly but pretty close to it.
(Side Bar: Hey Southern White Men! Please stop going by lame Southern Stereotype White Men nicknames like Mudcat or Bubba. They don’t help us in the long run and make you look rather "white southern male stereotype" on the Tee Vee. I mean why not put on a Boob Inspector hat and call it a day for crapsake?)
Now, I know that there will be some sort of tape, repeat or transcript up on this soon, but I also know these days we don’t need any real back up. Regardless it is there non the less.
Back to the story:
See I was watching Tucker. Why may you ask? Well, I am home sick with one of those once in a decade horrific nasty chest/head colds. So I decided to watch TV and was engrossed (thanks to the makers of Nyquil) in a Lifetime Movie starring Valerie Bertinelli and Harry Hamlin about a missing 8 year old went it went to commercial.
I started flipping around and landed on MSNBC and Tucker was interviewing Mudlucks. He was talking about how important it was to vote for Edwards because Edwards is "blue collar" and not a "rock star".
Hey. Wait a minute! "Rock Star??" Just hearing that, could it be that Mudflap was referring to, oh say Obama? Obama has been called a Rock Star. My wheels were spinning...Barack Obama -a Civil Rights Lawyer and Senator? That Rock Star? How dare he! The gall! I am offended! Since when are Civil Rights Lawyers and Senators the devil? How dare Edwards slam all Lawyers and Senators?
But wait, it gets worse. Much, much worse. Muddy goes on to say if you want a rock star, why not elect Bruce Springsteen! You read that right. Bruce Springsteen! The Boss. Bruuuuucccccceeee! WTF?
Why I can only conclude that Edwards hates Bruce Springsteen and all Civil Rights Lawyers and all Senators!
Then it got weird. Ok, weirder, since I am now a purist.
Mudguard goes on to say that John Cougar Melloncamp is performing tonight for Edwards and how sad it is going to be since Tucker is going to New Hampshire to play footsie with the Republicans and can’t see the performance.
You heard me. John "Cougar" Melloncamp! Maybe I am old school but isn’t Melloncamp - Bruce Springsteen lite? And don’t even get me started on the "Cougar" nickname; it just pisses me off all over again.
So now many of you will say that Bruce Springsteen is a Right Wing Talking Point™ because his Born in the USA Album was such a big hit back in the 80’s when the words Right Wing Talking Point™ were given birth to. Add to that, Bruce Springsteen is also known as "the Boss" which could be interpreted as "the man", man. Get it? Something is fishy there.
So I decided to check it out.
Boy was I in for a surprise.
Did you know that a one Ronald Regan, the Holy Grail of all modern day former Republican Presidents once called Bruce Springsteen a "great patriot"? Well that’s all you need to know. Springsteen is a Right Wing Talking Point™.
How could I have been so blind?
Now that I think of it, Springsteen did take that cute picture of his butt in Levi’s with that red hat in front of an American Flag on his Born in the USA album! The American flag people! You know the one that you can no longer burn even if you got drunk on moonshine with your buddy Mudcat? Yeah, that one.
I should have known. I saw him in concert a few times. Yet, now I feel like burning all my CD’s of his. How did I miss it? I thought it was cool back then that he would bring all those people of all walks of life and beliefs together to celebrate his music. All those anti war songs? An ovbious ruse.
As I write this listening to a Flock of Seagulls mix tape trying to get angrier by the minute, I conclude with the following thoughts. We must remain in the 1980s and 1990’s. We must never move forward. We must never change. We should remain scared and angry forever. Never heal as a country and never, ever give in to anyone who thinks slightly different than you on any issue.
Otherwise "they" win.
As soon as I find out who "they" all are I will let you know. In the mean time, go ahead a hate your neighbors.