Note: This is not a "poor me" blog, rather it is one of empowerment (i hope) for those who either identify somewhat with the story or have problems in life that led them to political action too. It is also a crude attempt to explain why I believe the things I believe.
The Clinton Years
At the age of 13 my mom turned to me and said "I need help with your sisters." My Dad had left us and because he could afford a great attorney, $10 a week was seen as "an attempt to pay" child support. Left with nowhere to turn, my mother went down to social services to get the paperwork for welfare.
That's when the Catch-22 started. My mother could either go to work and lose Healthcare for me and my two sisters or stay home receiving no income and keep the Healthcare. Since any job she would get would pay absolute shit with no benefits because she only had a high school diploma, she chose our health over a steady income.
The reason she would lose the healthcare is because social services said she "made too much" when she worked. Too much turned out to be anything over $18,000 for a family of four children. These were the end of the Clinton Years.
The Clinton/Bush Years
The following years from 13 on turned out to be one upheaval after the next: pay rent till the money ran out, move in with a friend or family member till we found another place, move in to the new place, repeat. That's until my step-dad saved us from this wretched nomadic existence and put a roof over our head and food in our stomachs with no strings attached (THANK YOU!). But ten different places and thirteen different schools later I was 17 years old and dropping out of high school. However, the reason why I dropped out is kinda interesting.
Around the age of 16 I started reading books other than the required reading. Zinn, Chomsky, Bukowski, Vonnegut, these were my best friends along with the outcasts and drugs that agreed with me. I realized the world indeed wasn't fair and that it was pretty fucked up. A year (and many books) later I wondered why the hell I was wasting my time in high school when I could be fighting for a better tomorrow, today. And thats when it hit me, or "us" I should say.
9/11.
In my classroom I watched as the towers fell. I started thinking about the human race, the panic I saw on the screen, and all the poor people who were losing their family members. One of them turned out to be my best friend's dad who was the Captain of Rescue 4 in NYC. Life looked a little shorter that day and 2 days after it, I left and never went back.
From 17 to the age of 19 I went up and down the East Coast fighting the Bush Regime along side Black-Hooded Anarchists who seemed like my type of people because they were about direct action and, after all the pepper-spray filled beatings with rubber bullet kisses that I got as a "peaceful protester", I decided to stand-up for myself.
It wasn't long till I realized that these "anarchists" were actually all scared suburban kids that acted tough but ran at the first sign of a cop arresting one of us in the black-bloc. I would fight back, get arrested, and while I was face down on the ground I could see all their Doc Martin covered feet scurry away. Leaving me to the dogs, or should I say, the pigs?
It was in a prison cell where I decided I would get my "Good Enough Diploma", infiltrate the college institution, and see how much damage I could do there seeing how I wasn't getting shit done (other than the FTAA in Miami where we actually stopped the Free Trade meetings) doing anything else.
The Present
I am now a 23 year old welfare recipient who lives in a one-bedroom apartment with my fiance. I attend college and have one more year until graduation where I will go into Grad school to get a Doctorate in Sociology and possibly even a Masters in Political Science.
I plan to dedicate my life to the study of Social Inequality, Social Movements, and Power Structure Research.
I am following the rules (only when the cops are looking though), have a steady Union job with benefits but, I can't make enough money because my hours are limited by school so I need welfare. I'm working harder then ever and have -$22.34 in the bank account. Hooray Capitalism!
I hope to one day live the American Dream of wrapping all my school loans into a 30 year mortgage because I had the nerve to try and get the credentials needed to do what I love and get paid well for it.
I will hopefully be teaching and doing research about the many ways I can "stick it to the man" because the man has been sticking it to us as of late. However, I'll probably die a bitter divorced drunk with kids that hate me because I left them with a bill instead of money and the only memories they have of me is of my rants about how the government was out to get me.
Let's hope that's not the case.
No Decision '08
Anyways, this is why I am skeptical of any candidate that promises freedom while accepting corporate campaign money. More money is spent on war than anything else in this country and the youth that have to bear the consequences of those types of actions are fucking sick of it. These consequences might be cut-backs on government assistance that leads to a number of kids falling through the cracks even earlier in their lives (trust me, i've seen my share of friends go down the tubes) or possibly even death from "blowback". Corporations get contracts at cost-plus from the government to spread destruction and then pave it over and put up a Wal-Mart in it's wake.
Don't encourage them by voting for someone they sponsored!
Edwards showed promise but apparently "public funding" only gets you so far. These corporations hijacked our nation a long time ago to be able to obtain the wealth they have today and when this big business parasite is done sucking all the life out of this red, white, and blue host the global market that this government has literally fought so hard to create will be next.
Sometimes belief in yourself is the greatest form of resistance.