To the reader: You already know where this is going, so don't read it and complain.
The Cast of Players:
Pundit 1 - Chris Matthews
Pundit 2 - Chris Wallace
Pundit 3 - Tim Russertt
Introduction
Pundit 1
I bet you're worried.
Pundit 2
We were worried.
Pundit 3
We were worried about vaginas.
Pundit 1
We were worried about what we think about vaginas, and even more worried that we didn't think about them. We were worried about Hillary's vagina. It needed a context of other vaginas - a culture, a village, of vaginas. There is so much secrecy surrounding Hillary's vagina - like the Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there.
Pundit 2
In the first place, it's not easy to even find Hillary's vagina. Hillary goes weeks, months, sometimes years without looking at it. A high-powered television producer was interviewed and she said she was too busy; she didn't have time.
Looking at Hillarys vagina, she said, is a full days work. You have to get down there on your back with a High Definition Sony HVR-A1P and an Arri Light Kit. You've got to get in the perfect position, with the perfect light, which is then shadowed somehow by the shotgun mike and the angle you're at. You get all twisted up. you're arching your head up, killing your back. You're exhausted by then. She said she didn't have time for that. She was busy.
Pundit 1
So I decided to talk to Zogby about Hillary's vagina, to do interviews, which became the Zogby monologues. They talked with over two hundred women, and 45% said they'd vote for Obama, even though he has no vagina.