In perhaps one of the most bizarre twists of fate in the history of American Presidential campaign politics, former North Carolina Senator John Edwards has become the de facto winner of the 2008 Nevada Democratic caucuses. Although polling at just around 4% in the state, his meager sum of support is now enough to catapult him over both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, his chief rivals for the Democratic nomination. Although the two celebrity candidates had initially done much better than Edwards -- at approximately 51% and 45% respectively -- their support vanished in the hours after the results were released on Saturday night as their supporters violently took up arms against one another and began fighting for supremacy.
Covering the event live for FOX News, Geraldo Rivera sanctimoniously lamented, "They're fucking murdering each other in the streets! Can't we all just get along?!"
For supporters of Clinton and Obama, tonight the answer seems to have been a resounding "No".
People. You need to calm down.
I have some ideas on ways you can all be more civil.
- No gloating. Seriously. Whether you think your candidate is "the winner" or not, just shut up about it. Nobody likes someone who wins and then rubs everyone else's nose in it, especially if the "win" is contestable.
- No claiming that your candidate will win in the end. If the first few contests have been any indication, this process is far from over. I am by no means discouraging your fervent support of your particular approved candidate, but try to relax a little. Unless you can literally see through time with your mind -- and I'm 99% sure that none of you can -- you don't know what's going to happen.
- No telling others what to do. Suggestions are fine, but when you start acting like a jerk and telling people to abandon their chosen candidate in favor of yours instead of politely making a case... it does not endear you to anyone but the most fanatic of those that are already your brethren. I know this sentiment has been shared by many already, but it bears repeating.
- Stop your bickering and just be glad! Your candidate, whether you support Clinton or Obama, is doing pretty well! Mine, on the other hand... not so much.
Anyway, that's about all. Get back out there, and play nice.