The Iraqi Parliment has just passed a monumental piece of legislation that has assured peace and tranquility in the formerly troubled country for generations to come: a new flag has been approved...temporarily...to be used until someone comes up with a better idea. Follow the link, grab a bucket and get ready to catch the stream of hope that will flow from your monitor like watermelon flavored syrup.
Yes, there are signs that militants from all corners of Iraq are laying down their rifles, car bombs, electric drills and "Iranian"-made rockets to join hands in celebrating around the new flag. The only tears you'll see on Iraqi faces after today are tears of unabashed joy!
There are reports from Washington that Joe Lieberman has applied for Iraqi citizenship and has begun drawing up plans for the construction of a permanent "Joe Zone" in the Karrada neighborhood of Baghdad.
In Sadr City, 32 children that had been dying of cholera were instantly healed when the new flag's fabric was brought into contact with their skin.
Again from Washington, President Bush called a press conference to that delare "minor combat operations" have ended and that surging US troops will return home. Non-surging troops will remain in Iraq to work on their suntans.
Iraq's national oil output jumped by about 4 million gallons today when one of the new flags was draped over a pipleine. Experts also confirmed that the pipeline is now indestructible.
The McCain campaign has issued a press release wondering what all the hubbub is about, since "everything has been awesome in Iraq for, like, a hundred years."
According to fresh polls 100% of Iraqi Kurds have reported that they want to remain inside a united Iraq. Pollsters reported hearing many glowing comments along the lines of, "Our flag isn't that cool," and, "Who could turn their back on the majesty of a flag like that?" and, "Now we know the shadow of Saddam has been cleansed from this country!" on the Kurdish street.
Experiments are underway to determine the degree to which the new flag can end world hunger and restore balance to The Force.
Back in DC, most Democrats still can't admit progress in Iraq, even though there's a new flag.
Losers.