Roger Clemens issued a press release announcing that he will not allow himself to testify before the senate in their ongoing investigation on steroid use in Major League Baseball. In the statement, Mr. Clemens expressed his disappointment that he would not be allowed to testify as he had looked forward to clearing his name and assuring his fans, and the country that he has done nothing wrong.
His statement read "Because President Bush has long been associated with Major League Baseball, and thus any discussion of the inner workings of baseball could, in theory, result in information about the President being revealed, I am forced to pass up this opportunity to testify, and I will not respond to further subpoenas issued by the Senate democrats. Furthermore, it is unfortunate that the Senate leaders have taken this opportunity to attempt to inject politics into America's pastime."
Mr. Clemens expressed his surprise that anyone might even be tempted to believe rumors of his steroid use. When asked whether he has effectively ended the Senate's involvement in the oversight process of Major League Baseball, Mr. Clemens suggested that perhaps the Senate's time might be better spent on it's regular business of supporting the President and America's pastime. He did suggest that the Senate might once again examine any liberal advertising campaigns that might be construed to be un-american or of poor taste, and once again issue an important proclamation to that effect.
As a footnote, Mr. Clemens pointed toward the important precedence of "Executive Privilege" and it's long history of protecting America from the needless paperwork caused by congressional oversight.