OK, it's time for our candidates to toughen up a little bit. The horrors they seem to think they are facing are little more than Max's island monsters compared to what they'll face if they get the nomination. To totally switch metaphors, what Democrats think is hardball is little more than a backyard game of catch with a spaldeen.
Awwwwww, the boys were ganging up on you. Must be rough when you are running for fucking President that you would have to stand up to a coordinated effort from people different than you to take you down.
Waaaaaa, those outside groups that endorsed your opponent are spending money to buy ads for your opponent and against you! How dare they engage in the political process in a way that might not help you win the nomination?
Buh, buh, buh, that spouse is saying shitty things about me and using words that aren't flattering! It must be really bad to have people say that you are living in a fairy tale or said a certain thing they misinterpreted.
Sniff, sniff, the surrogates are talking about how I voted on certain issues! Sure I voted present on hard issues or supported that war resolution or gave my yea to the bankruptcy bill but that doesn't mean they should smack about it because it hurts my candidacy.
Oh, oh, oh, that guy is talking about my past and suggesting it may come up in a future campaign! It's not cool to do that even though I wrote it in a book or it was in all the papers because their not using my spin and I own those stories.
What these folks have faced to date is playground recess taunting, and little more. They treat it like there been some huge offense against them that they should not have to put up with it. And this is nothing compared to what the eventual nominee is going to have thrown at them. It's barely a warmup, and our candidates are failing to deal with it.
These are the people who spread rumors that Ann Richards was a lesbian (not that this is a bad thing) to help George Bush become Governor of Texas in 1992.
These are the people who impeached Bill Clinton because he lied about cheating on his wife, and spent millions investigating false and slanderous claims against he and Hillary both.
These are the people who let it slip that John McCain has fathered miscegenate children just before the South Carolina primaries in 2000.
These are the people who turned war hero Max Cleland, who left three limbs on the battlefield, into an unAmerican traitor in 2002.
These are the people who turned John Kerry, who volunteered for highly dangerous service in Vietnam and then came back to help end the war, into a cowardly self-promoter who risked the lives of his crew for his own glory in 2004.
And, not for nothing here, Kerry responded with the same wounded indignity that our current crop loves so much. We know how that turned out.
The point is that the right wingers don't care who we run, or what the truth is. To them Hillary killed Vince Foster, Obama is an Islamic drug dealer and John Edwards personally sucked that poor girl into the whirlpool to make his millions.
None of it is true, but that doesn't mean it won't come out. The crap going on in our primary is absolutely nothing to what we'll see in the general.
And we'd better toughen up not only our candidates and campaigns, but also ourselves or we risk getting steamrolled again.