I just wanted to use this diary to share some prose that I wrote years ago. Most of it is still quite relevant to our times. I never stopped feeling the way I expressed myself in such prose.
From the years 1999 through 2004, I had some of the most difficult times of my life. It was common to take solace using pen and paper to put down thoughts. I feel enough time has passed to where I feel comfortable with sharing some of the insightful things I wrote all those years ago.
What strikes me is the way that a lot of the things I wrote back then match up to the state of the world right now. It's as if nothing has really changed all these years.
"Product" originally written 1/2/03
You are a product,
A product of a repressive society,
You are a creation,
Of the oppressive majority,
Your mind is not yours,
It belongs to the state,
Your voice is distorted,
So they can make you say otherwise,
You are a product,
Of the ignorant masses,
Of the religious zealots,
Of the mass media,
You are a creation,
You are trapped in a maze,
You cannot escape,
Suffer, because you have no choice!
You buy and you sell,
But you do not own your soul,
It belongs to the merchants,
And they trade it like a commodity,
You live like a lab rat,
Constantly undergoing experiments,
Then when you DIE,
They chuck you six feet underground!
The rats and maggots,
Feed on you,
The product of a,
War machine!
This prose got me thinking about how people only think in terms of "buy and/or sell" and how our society obsesses over material possessions. Many Americans obsess over the latest electronics and other useless crap. But, do they obsess over their own souls? Doubtful and this prose summed it up.
"Master Puppeteers" Originally written 10/24/02
They are the animals,
Merciless pigs,
That control this country,
They're destroying this country,
They are the corporations,
They are the CEOs,
They are the spineless creatures,
That do everything for profit!
The master puppeteers,
That control the government,
They steal your vote,
By bribing the politicos,
They own most of the wealth,
Manufactured by the working class,
They don't give a shit,
If you're poor and penniless,
It's supposed to be Free,
The Constitution is supposed to apply,
But with recent actions,
They're tearing it up, piece by piece!
So let's take up arms,
And take back what we're owed,
Because to suffer another minute,
One would have to be INSANE,
Master puppeteers,
No more,
Gonna bring them DOWN!
Yet another work of prose where I expressed my frustrations with the Bush administration and their actions. While I wouldn't advocate taking up arms nowadays, I still believe that we all have the power to defeat the twin evils of Capitalism and Conservatism.
"Dumb Me" Originally written 4/6/03
Can't stop worrying,
Can't stop procrastinating,
Lost in the supermarket,
Out of my mind 24/7,
Dumb me,
Scaring everyone away,
Dumb me,
Nowhere else to go,
Life passes me by,
I'm stuck far behind,
My friends no longer on my side,
Dumb me,
Art is forever,
People are never,
Let them be ignorant,
I'll bite and chew and spit them out,
Dumb me,
Face in the gutter,
Blue face,
Ain't waking up now,
Dumb me,
Dumb me,
Dumb me,
Dumb me!
I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life. One of them was shunning people when I should have embraced them. It's no wonder that I struggled more than I really needed to. Eventually, we all have to face up to that fact that we are vulnerable.
"Tomorrow's Hope" Originally written 11/19/01
Tomorrow...just seems so foreign to me,
Just another day, could be something special,
Well I had a bad day today,
But tomorrow's hope seems bright n early!
Rise and shine...my beautiful child,
The glorious sun shall always rise,
The sky's clear, 68 degrees and counting,
Nice day for a walk, ya see?
Maybe things'll go m'way,
Mebbe they will, mebbe they won't,
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day,
But who knows?
The world's at war...for no good reason,
People dying because of all this terrorism,
I ain't gonna let no terrorism,
Ruin my day...fear doesn't help,
People of Afghanistan,
I wish for hope for you,
As it's not your fault,
But the fault of a soured people,
Hope and peace,
In a time of war,
Tomorrow's hope,
Is more powerful than bullets...
After 9/11, everything changed. I just question whether it changed for the good or bad. I'm thinking mostly the latter.
Regardless, it inspired me to look at the issues more. Before 9/11, I didn't give a crap about world issues. After? It's a whole different story.
Also, the part about not blaming Afghanistan? We have to stop looking at entire countries as the culprits and instead look at factions within those countries as the real culprits, such as Al-Queda. Regardless, it's a moot point to argue.
Well, I just wanted to share some otherwise personal ramblings with folks. I swore to myself to never share this prose with anyone after a horrible breakup all those years ago. However, as I get older and life goes on, I feel more comfortable facing my past than ever. Thank you for reading.
I'm sure this will get lost within all the candidate diaries. However, the prose I wrote is a testament to my strength and willingness to look into the issues. I never really changed.