After reading New York N.O.W. Trashes Ted's Obama Endorsement! I was inspired to write this.
Just my opinion and perspective, but I don't think NOW gives a rat's ass about what I think.
I have great respect for the mountains that NOW has moved over the years -- but my impression is that these are groups of involved women that push the agenda with little regard for MY opinion.
During the 70's, I was an aircraft mechanic and a single mother in the Air Force. Back THEN, I had an issue with the system and had a massive fight on my hands -- it was clearly a case of discrimination. I appealed to NOW to help me: they said they could not interfere in military matters. (I also appealed to the ACLU who said the same thing.) The military would not give me names of other women in my same predicament so that I could get help in changing 'the system'. I was alone and I fought. By the time I left the military, we had reached a compromise and regulations were changed concerning children born to single mothers, adopted children, and children under guardianship (throughout the entire military system).
I don't want to go into the details because I like my anonymity here.
At the time, I could not understand why someone in NOW could not at least sit down with me and offer some kind of support.
I have lived women's issues and tried to choose the battles that would not kill me -- I needed to be alive to raise my children. But the battles broke me in other ways.
And NOW we have a candidate that can finally stand up to the men. I know what it is like to have to be twice as good as a man to be considered half as good -- so I have great respect for Hillary Clinton's achievements that she has done more than ten thousand me's.
THEN and NOW, I have listened to the speeches, read the books, screamed, whispered, written -- and have been inspired by the great voices of the NOW generations.
I hated Margaret Thatcher for her politics but felt a thrill when I saw her commanding a roomful of men.
I hung on every word from Hillary Clinton during her First Lady years and THEN I felt a rush of euphoria the first time I heard her say "That is a child left behind".
I adored Gloria Steinem for most of my life and quoted her throughout.
I remember reading a speech by Marlo Thomas and crying for hours about the beauty of it -- and the hope.
I followed the achievements and demonstrations of Now and was comforted.
But it all seems so OVER. I don't find inspiration in what was once my passion. Is it the years of being beaten down? Is it the small gains after massive efforts? Is it that I don't believe the words anymore? Or is it just going OVER and OVER the same words that gets old?
One of the things that hit me when I was in the Air Force was this: I had always sympathized with the discrimination against minorities as that was part of my upbringing. But it was in experiencing it first hand (being a female mechanic and single mother) in the 70's that I understood how it creeps into a person's very center and distorts all perceptions of things outside of that center. When it happened to me, I found brothers and sisters in souls that suffered beside me.
THEN, a friend of mine (who happened to be black) was discharged from the Air Force for being gay. He had spent years in the service but came out of the closet in a 'race relations' class where he declared his sexuality (to prove a point that you can't tell who is gay and who isn't) and he was promptly escorted to a jail cell.
THEN, I saw the sensitivity in a young black man when a teacher said "when you were a boy" and the young black man irrationally reacted wildly to the term 'boy'. Had the teacher said "when you were a kid" there would have been no reaction. That same young man sat in the classroom with his hand on my pregnant belly feeling my baby kick and my friend smiled. The Air Force did not know I was pregnant so it was a secret that he and I shared for a moment -- a bond never forgotten.
THEN and NOW I understand from the internal perspective and I quietly watch the twisted world around me where minorities fight for the top position instead of joining one with another to clarify the view. I don't want to find my voice -- I WANT MY INSPIRATION BACK!!!!!
I love that a woman is running for president. I believe that John Edwards is powerful progressive force. And Obama at times thrills me and other times disappoints. I keep going back and forth between them -- through my own distorted lens.
But it is completely unacceptable for NOW to state: "Senator Kennedy’s endorsement of Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the Democratic presidential primary campaign has really hit women hard." This kind of language fractures minorities against each other.
I know that gains have been made by groups throughout the decades. But that was THEN and this is NOW. How do we get the momentum back (or at least how do I get my perception of it back)?
Right NOW, my perception is that it would be Obama that would break through the totality of discrimination -- for minorities everywhere, globally. Maybe I'm wrong -- this kaleidescope fools me sometimes.
Right NOW, I at least have snippets of inspiration when Obama speaks. Right NOW, I want to hang onto those as long as possible.
Let's go OVER it one more time: right NOW, I beg Obama to stop the bickering and allow us to revel in momentary unity of purpose through his inspiration.