I know -- I’ve been posting here for several months and have written 5 diaries to date. You’ve probably been wondering when I would announce my decision. You need wait no more.
But before I do it, I just want to say that there has been a lot of invective hurled by supporters of both Obama and Clinton. Most of it, however, has been from Obama supporters. Before you rationalize that by pointing out that Obama supporters outnumber Clinton supporters at dkos, remember -- this election is primarily about Me. And My wounded feelings.
That out of the way, its time for me to announce my decision. At the end of the day, there was only one candidate worthy of my tide-turning vote...
I will support Mike Gravel. Bear with me while I outline my impeccable reasoning, and challenge me if you dare.
With Edwards out of the race, that leaves Obama and Clinton. Both have had many candidate diaries written about them. Only thoughtless nincompoops write candidate diaries. And anybody who has thoughtless nincompoops as supporters is unfit to be President.-- or at least not with my support. I’ve never seen a candidate diary about Mike Gravel. Election season is no time for candidate diaries.
And, on the day that John Edwards dropped out, not one single Gravel supporter --- or Gravel himself -- has asked me for my vote. Gravel and his supporters are class acts.
While we’re at it, both Obama and Clinton have mentioned Jesus, and asked Christians for their votes. I don’t like Christians, because some of them are jerks. I haven’t seen such naked pandering from Mike Gravel.
On a related note, Obama, he says he supports gay rights, and would like to overturn DOMA. But when he had the chance to kick a homophobe in the shins, he didn’t do it. If Gravel had a chance to kick a homophobe in the shins, he would most likely do it.
Mike Gravel’s supporters don’t resemble a cult of personality, or really a cult of anything else.
Everybody knows that dkos is going to hell in a hand basket. With over 700,000 page views per day in recent weeks, it is being overrun by the demos. This is unacceptable for a democratic site, whose aim is to elect Democratic candidates. We need to maintain purity and elevated thinking. The demise of dkos is not Mike Gravel’s fault.
Furthermore, when I joined, 3 months ago, this place was great. Now, it sucks. A lot of jerks have joined, and some of them say stupid, jerky things. When I first joined, debate was always civil, and high-minded. The grass was always green. Beer was free. Mike Gravel’s supporters never say stupid, jerky things. And, in a roomful of Gravel supporters, there would be plenty of beer to go around.
Both Obama and Clinton say things to make people feel good -- they sound like -- politicians. But when you look at their voting records and actions, they are not always consistent with their nice words. Mike Gravel’s words are always consistent with his actions.
Well, there you have it. I hope you Obama and Clinton supporters are happy. First, you made John Edwards drop out of the race. Then, you had numerous jerks among your thousands of supporters on dkos. This left me with no choice. But be warned -- everybody knows that this election will be decided by people. Exactly. Like. Me.