It feels pretty appropriate that my first diary should be about joining the party. Today, after much consideration, I made the decision to become a Democrat at last.
Since 1991, I'd been a lefty without a political home. When I registered unaffiliated at 18, I did so out of confusion over my political identity. I knew I never could see myself in the Republican party of my religious conservative family, so I couldn't just follow in their footsteps. I wasn't sure I belonged to the Democrats because to me, they weren't liberal enough. I wanted to be not just unaffiliated, but truly Independent.
Well, that's the way I used to think. Sometimes it takes a disaster to change a belief. Since the 2000 election fiasco, my internal compass has steered me toward the Democratic Party.
Through the years, I couldn't fail to notice that almost every vote I ever cast was for a Democrat. Every time I started thinking about maybe getting around to changing my affiliation, I'd convince myself that the Democratic party wasn't a perfect match, that it was either third party or no party, and I live in a state that doesn't recognize any of the third parties that interest me.
It felt like I was picking a religion. I chalk my reluctance up to this: I don't think of political affiliation as just a word on a voter registration card, I think of it as part of my identity, and it has to mean something. Getting to where it felt right took a lot of time.
My Kerry/Edwards fervor almost swept me into registering as a Democrat, but again, I talked myself out of it. I could always vote that way in general elections, and our closed Democratic primary's so late that it doesn't matter if I'm unable to vote in it, I rationalized.
Well, I'm sick of my reluctance to jump in. I'm sick of not being able to commit - and yes, I do feel a bit like I'm finally letting myself fall in love. Maybe most importantly in this moment is that I have a feeling my state's May primary may actually count for something this year - at least, I don't want to take any chances by not making my preference known.
Upon seeing that there are Democrats like Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel, it became obvious to me that there's room for me in the Democratic Party. Michael Moore and Ralph Nader tried to tell the country that there's no difference between the Democrats and the Republicans, but I don't see how they could have said that with a straight face. The Democrats allow room for a whole spectrum of viewpoints, which is something I don't think you can say for most political parties.
I'm looking for strength in numbers. I want us to win back our country in November, and I don't think I can be as effective in helping to accomplish that out there on my own. So tomorrow morning, I'm walking to my mailbox and sending off my change of address/party form.