There's no need for anonymity, though it is slightly embarrassing. I mean, you'd think a cynical, jaded, middle-aged, mid-western, mostly Caucasian male would find something better to do than obsess over every poll result, watch endless speech excerpts, and read countless diary entries with all the anxiety of having your first child.
Of course recognizing the addiction is the first step toward recovery. Unfortunately I think this might be with me for awhile - at least until November. Let me tell you my story ...
My earliest memory is of JFK's funeral. I was 4 years old. By the summer of 1968 I was already a political junkie. Raised a Catholic and with an Irish surname it shouldn't be a shock that I idolized Bobby Kennedy. I fell asleep in front of the television awaiting the California primary results. I awoke to find he'd been assassinated. Sunrise found me aimlessly riding my bicycle through the neighborhood uncontrollably crying.
The assassination of the Kennedy's instilled in me a bedrock foundation of rage and loathing for the other side. Republicans were either stupid, ignorant, insane or just plain evil. One could only be a Republican as a result of a character defect or personality disorder almost impossible for me to fathom. Watergate and Vietnam only reinforced those views.
My first Presidential election was 1980. By this time I was sufficiently cynical and progressive to have a "pox on both your houses" attitude towards Republicans and Democrats. I flirted with John Anderson - mainly because he was the only candidate to seriously address our addiction to oil. I told my friends I was voting for Reagan. What!?!? My rationale was that 4 years of Reagan would assure we'd not likely have another Republican President in my lifetime. My assessment of Anderson looks prescient today, but as for my Reagan rationale - well, I sure underestimated the gullibility and stupidity of the American voting public.
I somehow survived the 80's. Teflon Ron, Bush 41, Ollie North, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh. Please, I'd rather just forget.
I remember my first exposure to Bill Clinton. My first thoughts were "Puh-leeezzee, another southern DINO." Worse, he was wandering around on stage giving his, "Ah feeL yore pain," schtick. Great. We just had a B-movie actor as President and now we get a televangelist. Was Nader on the ballot? I'm sure I must have voted for Ralph.
The 90's saw the Republicans perfect their Orwellian Nightmare for America. The Clintons continued to triangulate and miscalculate. Hillary-care. Don't ask, don't tell. Whitewater. The right-wing noise machine used every trick in the book - and invented quite a few new ones - in their attempt to destroy them. Yet, they survived. You had to have a grudging admiration for Bill and Hillary. They withstood an onslaught that no one should have to endure.
And then shrubbery. Florida. Stolen elections. Swiftboats. WMD's. Too many high crimes and misdemeanors to keep track of ... the need to see it all end; see these past 8 years reversed. Run, Al, run. No, he wouldn't. Hitch your wagon to a different star. Edwards. Nope, not gonna happen. The sad realization that the inevitable is inevitable. Hillary had triangulated herself into an overwhelming and insurmountable lead. With a very low ceiling she'd be running in the fall doing for the Republicans what none of their own candidates could do - energize their base.
And then Bill stumbled. Intentionally or unintentionally they played the race card. That's a frickin Republican tactic. We remember Willie Horton. I don't care if you are the former Democratic President of the United States. Or even, in the words of Toni Morrison, the first black President. These ain't the Marquis of Queensbury rules, but some things are beyond the pale. We're supposed to be the good guys.
OK, there's an opening. So just what is all the hullabaloo about this Obama guy? I mean it's like a cult of personality or something. I don't get it. Must be a generational thing. Yeah, that South Carolina margin of victory was impressive, but he's down 20 points with two weeks to go before Tsunami Tuesday.
And the polls narrow. And they narrow some more. Fine, let's take a look. Listen to a couple of his speeches. More important - look at the response. And slowly I was drawn in. Viral video as a gateway drug. Pretty soon I'm flippin' channels to see if they have coverage of him in Denver, Boise, Minneapolis. Calling relatives and asking if they saw where he drew 20 thousand here, 15,000 there. I'm watching replays of campaign events on CSPAN - hell, I'd forgotten what channel CSPAN was on.
It didn't take long. 3 days maybe. I don't remember drinking the kool-aid, but next thing you know my daughter is ordering T-shirts online and my wife is wondering if I can find bumper stickers. Apparently they were already closet Obama-maniacs. Now that I was hooked they could bring their own addiction out into the open.
I'm trying hard not to go out and canvas. I hope I don't find myself phone-banking. Our primary is two weeks away. Do you think I can find a yardsign?