As a high-ranking state official I have been a super-delegate since 1984. I am proud of the Democratic Party and the values it embraces. As we look forward to the convention in August the role of super-delegates will come to the fore. I cannot endorse a candidate unless I know their specific positions on the issues that matter to me and the people I represent. Let me tell you more...
The first issue that matters to me is gasoline. Because of the high price of gasoline there has been too much violence ...too much pain. None here is without sin. But, I have an honourable compromise. Give me the gasoline and I'll spare your lives and give you my vote. Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the wasteland ... Walk away and there will be an end to the horror of a contested convention ..
In addition, for the good of the party and my followers I must be given the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and granted full plenipotentiary powers within it. This is my birthright and I claim it in the name of justice.
Finally, I demand new garments for my followers. As they have honored me so must I provide for them. Any candidate who wants my vote will supply 400 pairs of chaps to me immediately
My demands are just. Senators Clinton and Obama--you will meet them. The Humongous demands satisfaction...