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and mccain's shameless pandering to the insanity of a conservative base.

anyone who underwent torture and who reports he "broke" under torture, has been against torture for years, and is now voting to accept torture as legitimate is purely and simply pandering to a block of arrogant, ignorant, hateful and inhumane political party base.

if mccain is willing to do that, given his past life, he's willing to do anything and has sold any shred of humanity he may have had to pander to the bloodthirsty minority of crazies in the republican party.

i had a wonderful friend who was tortured and in comparing what i know about my friend's experience and seeing mccain's "turn about" regarding torture makes me wonder if we know the true mccain story.  was he or wasn't he?  

i had and still have friends who experienced the Chilean coup of Pinochet and i have friends in Argentina who are still waiting for some news, any news about their children and grandchildren who disappeared in those most horrid of times.  i had one friend, a victim of chilean "general's" coup who actually lived and made it back to his friends and family.

he made it back and rarely spoke of it, but, i recall walking with him in a park one day and we spied a dog who looked to have been mistreated.  my friend stopped abruptly, began shaking and the tears fell.  a far away look came over his face and movement was impossible.  we stood for the longest time and it was obvious that the memories were flooding his mind.

he said little, but he did say "i'm so ashamed of myself for telling them things.  none of what i told them was true."  "No estava la verdad"  and "soy muchissimo avergozado" "no soy humano!" were phrases he repeated for a full two hours after i finally got him to a place where he should have felt safe!  he blamed HIMSELF not only for the torture he underwent but for the knowledge that he quite likely caused others to be tortured also.    

before his arrest and torture he was passionate, he was handsome, he was funny and fun.  after the torture he wasn't any of those things and we never saw the funny and fun side of him again.  when conversations seemed to take a political turn, he turned ashen and quiet, he usually left the room. he was broken.

THAT is how someone who was tortured and broken acts.  my friend was ASHAMED of himself and had no reason to be but still the shame existed.  i don't know what he told his torturers, and i don't particularly care what he told his torturers and told him so in no uncertain but obviously gentle terms.

my friend is no longer living.  not long after i left the country to come back here he took his own life.

THAT is what torture does to a human.  apparently, however, mr. mccain sold his humanity in favor of a pandering to a reprehensible process he admits "broke" him.  

anyone who says "if hillary wins the nomination i'm voting for mccain" has also lost any shred of humanity.

for the record, i'm no hillary supporter.  i'm not even an obama supporter, although i admit since mr. edwards dropped out i'm leaning in that direction.

what kind of human is mccain?  certainly not a human i want anywhere near the presidency.  

my point?  my point is that mccain says he experienced torture and we have no way to prove he didn't, but his new torture stance makes me wonder if he has ever told the truth about his torture experience.  the bottom line is, if any of the senators who voted to excuse this white house's policy of torture, they have become the monsters and i can't live in a country with a leader who is MORE monstrous than the current one.  

i'm not saying i'm going to abandon this country, but, an america under john mccain will indeed be a horrifying place given his "change of heart".  

sorry...long rambling, ranting diary, but, i've been thinking about this all night.  i had dreams of my friend through the night of how he was before torture and how he was after torture.

was mccain tortured?  he certainly says so, his book says he was, personally i have my doubts given my own experience with my friend.  

i miss my friend.

Originally posted to NO BLOG on Fri Feb 15, 2008 at 06:15 AM PST.

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