From my childhood, I have heard all about the horribleness of the Clintons; their lust for power, their egos, their desire to win at all costs and no matter what the expense, their lack of principles and standards.
My mother is a Republican and this side of the crazies (though by how much, I wonder sometimes) and since childhood, since Bill Clinton's presidency, I have heard many times how awful and evil and terrible they both are. As a child, I accepted it as fact, as one tends to automatically do when their parents espouse something.
It wasn't until the 2000 election, and to a greater extent, in college and the beginning of the Iraq War that I questioned everything. It was somewhere in here that I found my own political identity, having been thoroughly fed up with where the country was headed and what the unchecked Republicans were doing: going to Edwards rallies, canvassing for Kerry, joining the College Democrats, and, incidentally, becoming an avid reader of DailyKos.
And somewhere in there, I began defending Hillary and the Clintons when my mother said what she did. Somewhere in there I started defending what is obvious to this community and had become obvious to me: Bill Clinton reigned over a booming economy ("the president doesn't control the economy"), a relatively peaceful era ("he didn't go after the perpetrators of the first WTC attack"), and turned a massive deficit into a surplus ("there was a booming economy").
But all of this was really secondary to this entry, since the arguments swung as easily towards their terrible qualities as human beings as they did towards his or their's legislative or political accomplishments. At one point I was home, the news was on, and Bush was on the screen. "God, I hate him," I couldn't keep myself from saying. To which she replied, (and I'm paraphrasing) "Why do you hate him? I mean, there are plenty of politicians I don't like and that I disagree with, but I don't hate them." You might feel one way or another about the validity of hate and the use of the word, but in that moment, I felt chastened. Unfortunately, my memory wasn't quick enough to connect that earlier incident with one later. One where the situation was almost the same, except it was Hillary Clinton on screen and my mother unable to help herself from saying, "God I hate her."
My mother has also referred to Senator Clinton as Lady MacBeth, among other things.
And though I have never been a supporter of hers, never given money to her nor volunteered for her, never voted for her, I have defended her. I have done my best to counter the deep foundation of smears and hate flung at her over the past fifteen years. I have fought down other people, my mother included, who have said she only cared about power, only cared about winning and nothing else.
"No," I'd say. "That's not fair. She is a good and decent human being that is trying to serve her country. She may not be the best person in the world, but she is NOT this vile, manipulative, evil person you make her out to be. You're wrong."
But it looks like I'm wrong. And if there's one thing I hate, it's being wrong.
Hillary Clinton, I have defended you. I have stood up for you and fought for you. I did it because nobody in their right mind could say the things they say about you and turn around and vote for Bush and not be called for it. I did it because we're both Democrats and we, as people and a party, are better than that. We're here to change things for the better, to make a difference and fight for justice, equality, and the greater good and not in it just for our own satisfaction, for our own greed and sense of entitlement. That's why we're us and not them. That's why I'm here and, I thought, why you were too. And if you're not perfect or the best - the most principled, the most dedicated to the larger cause - then that's fine, but you have to at least demonstrate you're still better than them. That it's about something more than your own desire for power, that you care about reaching the ends and not just your place within them.
Otherwise, you will have wasted my time. And if there's two things I hate, it's being wrong and people wasting my time.