As I've said before, I'm a veteran Dem, in the sense that I've voted for pathetic losers most of my life. Nice, smart, but pathetic (Mondale, Dukakis) and losers (William Jefferson Clinton, in that he won the office but not the party. Gary Hart, who had a Clinton pants problem).
I have waited all my adult life for a transcendent Democratic candidate who could also win the elections.
But as Timothy Egan so succinctly states here, there is an almost innate Party talent to sink ourselves.
The original Donner Party made history for one reason: by eating their dead. Cannibalism — it was all they could do to stay alive.
These modern Dems press on, tearing into each other, crawling to get to the summit, still five months away, in the mile-high city. They are now ravenous with hunger, and it is starting to show.
Personally, I've been as excited as any other good Dem about our prospects this time around. Plus, I live in Montana - I got to see a progressive governor elected, then see Jon Tester's role in swinging the Senate to our side.
I'm not a hand-wringer or a whiner ala (insert candidate name here) should pull out to ensure unity. I believe in the political tradition of a good fight to bring all the ideas to the surface.
However, as I watch the events of the last weeks unfold, I have had my healthy cynicism about our party recalibrated.
Once again, I am as convinced of the Democrats' ability to lose an election they should win, as I am hopeful that they will not.
It's the middle way, you see. I have been through enough elections now to see the excitement that a candidate brings, only to watch the seemingly inevitable downfall.
The most recent? I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty! I sensed then, watching the convention, that we would lose because we had adopted the militaristic approach of the rethugs. We lost not because we are less patriotic, but less comfortable saying so. And it showed.
It was a new approach to losing - being uncomfortable with blatant nationalism but still embracing it.
I am willing to be surprised. I am truly heartened and gratified by the dKos community's reach and breadth.
But if we lose the GE in November, I will go on with my life as I have since voting for Mondale in '84. Each GE a little less dismayed at how we lost and a little more sure of our innate ability to do so.
If we win, it will be because our candidate will transcend that pattern and teach us how to do something better.
The seeds of the loss are in the wind now. I can only hope that we sow more fertile ground this time around, and with a different crop.