Yesterday I did a diary on what classes, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton would be in the world of D&D this will focus on John McCain. I am using 3.5 rules. The good-evil axis is based on policy stances right now. The chaotic lawful axis is based on the willingness to compromise on issues if elected.
Here is my diary from yesterday
To begin with John McCain is Evil (this isn't a serious diary so I won't get into them at all here). In addition he would likely be chaotic as he would likely be willing to sell cross the aisle on some issues.
As far as stats go his INT is likely low as he graduated 5th from last in this class. He doesn't have outstanding CHA as his public speaking is soporific and he isn't attractive in any sense of the word. His WIS is likely the highest of his mental stats but that isn't saying much. It is likley average at best.
Therefore he wouldn't be a good magic user of any kind.
Moving on to his physical stats, I would say his CON is fairly high as he survived being a prisoner and is doing decently for being 71 years old. His STR is likely above average here (looking at his masseter muscles), also he apparently fought with Rep Renzi and came out okay. His DEX is likely the lowest due to his age and the fact he can't raise his arms above his head, but he still moves around decently.
So his stats look like
STR:15
DEX:11
CON:19
INT:6
WIS:8
CHA:7
Average for these stats would be considered 10. Adventurers often average 13 or higher.
Therefore the classes of fighter and barbarian look like the best for him as ranger and rogue are more DEX dependent.
I would say that he would make a better barbarian than a fighter. He goes into rages apparently (barbarian's rage ability). He is unpredictable (similar to barbarians). He is able to survive in adverse conditions (see his prisoner of war experience). He isn't exactly smart (barbarian aren't know as being smart). He wasn't really hurt by his scandals (barbarian's damage reduction).
This was a silly exercise hoping to give people a laugh. Please feel free to discuss in the comments. Equipment should be discussed in the comments too.
(cross-posted at the Great Blue Venca