DailyKos diarist tbrucegodfrey is ahead of her time. By 9 days. Her April 2 diary is a perfect pre-sponse to news of Trent Lott's first time riding the Metro Subway, now that he's a Man Of The People, um, I mean, Man of the Lobbyists.
[Photo: Flickr photographer afagen]
After 30 years of taxpayer funded "free" lunches and car & driver, Lott is undergoing cataclysmic changes in his new life as a DC Lobbyist. WaPo's Mary Ann Slaker:
Lott took his first Metro ride ever last weekend, when thousands of tourists were in town enjoying the annual Cherry Blossom Festival[....] Lott really had no idea how to even go about taking public transportation.
He passes #1 of tbrucegofrey's 12-step program for new Metro riders. It's funny, though, when you read #8 and #10...
In choosing his Metro deflowering on a weekend (and for a flower festival!), he passes tbrucegofrey's first rule -- avoid the Metro at rush hour if you're a clueless newbie. The fares are higher during rush hour, and for good reason.
But if you board a Metro train in rush hour, you will be paying local (premium) rates and you will be judged as a local for every misstep you make. People are more forgiving at 1:30 PM. [Read More from tbrucegofrey]
Did he do okay to take the Metro on the weekend, but during a crowded time?
[Photo: Flickr Fotog M.V. Jantzen]
More about His First Time:
He didn't know how to use the Metro fare card machines, or how much money to put on his trip ticket, or how to add money to one of the fare cards his wife gave him. Truly: clueless.
Rule #8 is pertinent in Lott's case, as his learning curve involves the paying of fares and the management of the cards thereof:
8. Fares. Buy your ticket with enough money left over to get you off the train. Your reckless bunking up the line because you need Addfare and don't know it is a disgrace and a waste. The charts may seem hard but they are not hard; anyone who can order a Super Size #7 at McDonalds can handle them. Please see prior comments about riding during rush hour.
tbrucegofrey's other rules about where to stand, how to wait, riding escalators, and other matters of vital importance to the commuter are very helpful. Read them all. Be sure, though, to dwell on #10, which is a nice little twist for our man Lott. He's a newbie -- a n00b, but not from out of town. How, exactly, would he apply this oh-so-helpful rule?
[Photo: Flickr photographer afagen]
10. If you ask a Washingtonian, "Hi, I am a tourist and I want to do things right ...." we will LOVE you and probably go further to help you than you would ever guess. Washington insiders are hated with good reason but most of us here are not Washington insiders. We are people trying to get paid and take care of our families, same as in Birmingham and Des Moines. We have very good public transit in this city but it's only excellent when the passengers cooperate successfully with the realities of the system's imperfections. This reality is in contrast with the John Wayne, one-man band mythology which may have informed the cultural development of your part of the country. This is not cowboy country; we try to help each other cope within the rules.
His life adjustments are not just about taking the Metro subway, though. There are other things to learn. Important things. Very important things. Again, WaPo's Slaker:
Besides taking public transportation, the one-time Senate majority leader is learning how to pull out his wallet, which should certainly be a lot fatter these days after bolting from public service to rake in cash in the private sector.
"I haven't paid for lunch in 30 years," he joked. [Former Senator and current Lobbyist John] Breaux chimed in with an eye roll, saying, "Yeah, he's learning how to pay for lunch."
Charming, eh?
Okay, people, now it's your turn!
In honor of tbrucegodfrey, and Lott the N00b-Plebe, what other advice would you give him, now that he must navigate the tough streets of life same as all us regular folk? Celebrate the learning curve and the helpful advice* available in these orange pixel-filled halls and give Trent Lott your best advice for his new life!