Hey all! My wife and I went to see Jon Stewart at the Ryman Auditorium here in Nashville Friday night (would have had this up sooner, but we spent the weekend helping her parents move).
After picking up beverages at the bar - a couple of Yazoo Pale Ale's for me and a virgin margarita for my pregnant wife - we settled in to our balcony seats to await the fun.
Some highlights below fold.
One quick note: all quotes are closely parapharsed paraphrased. Obviously recording was forbidden, so I furiously typed notes into my Crackberry. I think you'll get the gist.
I missed out on Bob Dylan tickets last year, so this was my first visit to the Ryman since moving to Nashville last July. It's a great venue to see an act. I'm not sure of the capacity, but it feels really intimate. Even from the balcony it felt like we were watching him in our living room. Now, the seats themselves leave a bit to be desired. They're sort of pew-styled wood benches that seat four or six people to a section. They're roomy enough, just hard on the tush.
Stewart came out to a several minute standing ovation. This was nice to see, and a great reception for the Jewish boy from New York here in the self-proclaimed belt-buckle of the Bible Belt. It was a significance not missed by the performer as he opened, "So, this is church. ... Well, I'm a jew. You can come up and pet me later."
From there he dove right in on the Democratic primary race likening Hillary Clinton to the Terminator - the one you can blast to bits of liquid metal that coagulate back into a whole that keeps coming back at you. Clinton's persistence must have made her "the hardest girl in school to break up with."
Moving on to Barack Obama, whose name got a rousing cheer from the crowd, Stewart wondered, as do many, if America is ready for a black man to be President, "If it's Barack Obama, yes. If it's Mr. T, maybe not. It depends on the black man."
Shifting focus to the campaign in general Stewart lamented how all the candidates are "running towards the dumb." I really like that phrase as it seems to perfectly capture the dumbing down of the political rhetoric and it's coverage in the mass media. He especially ridiculed the all the candidates attempts to seem just like the rest of us.
You're just like me? You watch T.V. six hours a day? You want to be President and you're just like me? I'm fucking dumb! ... We got swept away by the Macarena!
Obviously, in standard Jon Stewart style he saved some particularly pointed criticism for George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.
A lot of people say Bush is dumb. I don't think Bush is dumb. I think he just doesn't give a shit. When they told him, "Sir, we didn't find any weapons of mass destructions." His response was, "Hmmm, ain't that a son of a bitch."
The best observation on W., though:
Bush answering questions at a press conference is like a sixth grader giving a book report on a book he hasn't read.
He was sure to nail Cheney, too. "I would love to have a job like Dick Cheney where I could be wrong every fucking day." He then ran down the familiar laundry list - greeted as liberators, last throes, etc. - before pointing how that anyone with a track record like Cheney's in any other job would have been canned ages ago. "Lets see you go to work as a podiatrist and kill a guy with a bunion because you are so wrong and still keep your job."
He wasn't without praise, though. "There's one situation where I would trust Dick Cheney, and that's if there was a dead prostitute in my hotel room."
Some other gems:
If you think posting the Ten Commandments is gonna stop school shootings you think "Employees must wash hands" is gonna stop the pee from getting in your happy meal
Why don't blacks and Jews get along? They come from the same history of oppression. Blacks created the Blues. Jews complained just as much, they just never thought to put it to music.
In the end he got another standing O. I think the reception he got is evidence of the blue trend afoot in Nashville. Progressives are building a base here evidenced by the fact that Davidson county is one of two in Tennessee that went for Obama in the primary. Anyway, We had an absolute blast and laughed ourselves to tears. If you get a chance to see him perform DO IT!