Dudes, I am so going to do a Norman Mailer on Barack Obama!
The Politics of Cool.
That's gonna be Barack's tag.
Just like ol' stormin' Norman pegged JFK with Superman Comes To The Supermarket.
I, CheeseMoose, am saying it first (Advertising Myself, of course, just like the Master): Barack Obama and The Politics of Cool.
Or should I say, The Politics of Cool™?
Cuz, see, that's what Barack does - he's the Ju-Jitsu master. His political signature is using his opponents' energy against themselves. Step to the side. Step to the side.
Look how he's dealing with Hillary, using her own desperate thrashing against her, letting her tire herself out. Gas Tax Holiday? Sure, Hillary, knock yourself out. The Experience Card? Gee, talking about "obliterating" Iran just seems kinda...I don't know...Bush-y.
You can have West Virginia. I'll raise you a John Edwards. And a couple more superdelegates.
Hard-working white Americans? Well, I'm sure she didn't mean to say...what she said.
Reverend Wright? Nothin' that a backdrop of American flags and a dazzling discussion of Race by the Coolest History Prof Ever won't cure. Just gently nudge crazy Uncle Jeremiah off the stage. Nothin' to break a sweat about. Hey, everybody's got a crazy uncle, right?
By the time Hillary's been waltzed off the dance floor she's gonna think she went to a ball and fell in love with a handsome prince.
While I (and every other red-blooded progressive politico) have been wishing that Our Boy would stand up and fight, Mr. Cool has consistently rejected red meat rhetoric. The youngster out of Chicago is about to win a TKO against the Scranton Scrapper - without ever laying a glove on her (or should I say, blue dress?). Barack Obama out-fundraised the Clinton Machine?! Show me the pundit anywhere that called that one! This guy is a stealth bomber! If Hillary Clinton never knew what hit her, John McCain is about to be tucked into bed with a glass of milk and a war-hero cookie without ever knowing he was in a fight.
Barack told us he was gonna prove his bona fides by the way he ran his campaign. And look at him! He's got Slick Willie all red in the face - while he himself cruises to the finish line fresh as a daisy with $100 million in the bank! Losing elections as he goes! And still he wins!
This is how he's gonna govern. Pretty soon we're gonna be howling here on Kos - he sold us out! He's kissing their asses! He's not prosecuting the Bushies! He's playing ball with the corporations! He's not ending the war quick enough!
And ol' Barack's just gonna flash that smile...while he normalizes relations with Cuba. While he's celebrated as the new JFK in Europe. Shaking the outstretched hands of adoring crowds in Africa. Meeting Amadinejad and neutralizing his scruffy ass with nothing but a shot of George Clooney Grin. Just smilin' and wavin' as the country feels the dark cloud of the Bush years lift.
Even as the Bush Depression takes hold, Mr. Cool is gonna be there to make us feel just a little bit better about it all. Like Fred Astaire in the 30's: a touch of elegance to get us through the hard times.
If the presidency really just comes down to a kind of background music we all learn to live with, Barack's sound is gonna be the cool jazz of Miles Davis' Kind Of Blue trumpet - to the maddening white noise of George W. Bush's droning TV set turned up too loud in the other room.
It's gonna be weird - just like this Democratic primary race has been weird. And frustrating. And vaguely unsatisfying.
Because there's never gonna be that knock-out blow we've all learned to crave. No Mission Accomplished banners on aircraft carriers. It's just gonna be this gradual cooling, this gradual tamping down of emotion, a kind of zen dissolution of tension. That's how America's gonna get out of the hot, steaming mess that Bush has made. Barack Obama and The Politics of Cool.
Barack Obama and The Politics of Cool. The logo is Barack's trademark slim torso, seen in profile, blowing a bluenote a la Miles, 1956.
Fuckin' A, man. And CheeseMoose said it first. Right here on DailyKos. May 15, 2008. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Every time you hear the pundits going on about The Politics of Cool, you tell 'em: CheeseMoose said it first.
Right, Norman?