Forget the Polar Bears; the way things are going, George W. Bush may have to list the Republican Party as endangered. Short of resurrecting Ronald Reagan, it looks like the GOP won't be able to avoid a total collapse.
And they know it.
Who would have thought that labeling Barack Obama as an elitist militant Christian Muslim terrorist sympathizer would backfire? That "supporting" Hillary Clinton after years of labeling her (and her husband) a monster would be met with skepticism? That the countless scandals, the dismissal of domestic issues and the transparent lipservice paid to our brave troops would have more of an impact on voters then lapel pins, gay marriage and playing the "Greatest Hits of 9-11" 24/7?
"Who," I ask! Who?
Not the GOP...
(Tee-hee!!)
It's hard out there for a Republican; scaring people into voting for you isn't as easy as it seems. You need to constantly look for a new group of people to bash and smear. You need to dismiss things like facts, evidence and truth. You need to continously remind the masses that reality isn't reality until you tell them what reality is, and even then, it can change.
So imagine what happens, after years of being sucessful with such-tried-and-true tactics, when the voters begin waking up and saying, "Who the hell are these guys? Get the fuck out of my government!"
Well, they turn on each other like a pack of wild animals:
House Republicans turned on themselves yesterday after a third straight loss of a GOP-held House seat in special elections this year left both parties contemplating widespread Democratic gains in November.
In huddles, closed-door meetings and hastily arranged conference calls, some Republicans demanded the head of their political chief, while others decried their leadership as out of touch with the political catastrophe they face.
Oh what is a Republican to do? Well, they aren't called the "Party of Ideas" because they make shit up to prey on people's fears and preconceived notions. Actually; that's exactly what they've been doing. Anyway, here's some groundbreaking solutions:
Rep. Ric Keller (Fla.), routinely targeted by Democrats in his Orlando district, said that Republicans from swing districts need the latitude to seek more moderate solutions, to be "independent folks who are trying to solve problems."
Rep. Mike Pence (Ind.), however, said the GOP needs to be more true to its conservative grass roots.
"Until we convince our public we have renewed our commitment to limited government and fiscal discipline, we will continue to lose," he said.
Rep. Walter B. Jones (N.C.), who just crushed a primary opponent challenging him on his antiwar stance, said it is time to break with Bush and find a way out of Iraq.
"If this party does not look at options and figure out how to pursue those options, we're in real trouble," he said.
Let's see: solve the problems of "independent folks," push for "limited government and fiscal discipline" and throw Bush under the bus. The funniest thing about these "suggestions" is that if they followed Jones' idea say, five years ago, and broke with Bush on warrantless wiretapping, torture, throwing taxpayyer money on a failed foreign policy adventure and countless other things issues like getting independent votes and fiscal discipline would have been easier to achieve. I can't say I feel sorry for these yahoos because they new Bush was a failed businessman when they propped him up. What made them think that being president was going to magically make him a sucessful administrator?
But the hits just keep on coming; even "Old School" Republicans are putting on the spandex so they can come to the rescue:
[House majority leader Tom] DeLay and former House speaker Newt Gingrich (Ga.) have been issuing calls to arms to their former troops. But even they disagree on the steps needed to reverse their fortunes, with Gingrich demanding an emergency meeting of all Republicans to craft a new agenda. Gingrich is offering unusual proposals such as reforming the Census Bureau and the Federal Aviation Administration.
But DeLay called those ideas "a yawn" and instead demanded a dramatic agenda that would energize the conservative base -- or else face major losses in the fall leading to wholesale changes in leadership next year.
"That sort of thing will happen over time if there are more losses. You can never gauge when members have had enough," he said.
Keep in mind that Gingrich and DeLay aren't exactly BFFs; which makes this alliance the GOP version of Archie meets the Punisher. In other words, the GOP won't find water in this well.
However, Camp McCain has decided that it's best to keep Grandpa as far away from Bush as possible, even if they don't want to say, "We're trying to keep McCain as far away from Bush as possible:"
Advisers to Mr. McCain said they thought the problems Congressional Republicans were having would not translate into significant problems for Mr. McCain. But they said it steeled their resolve to run a campaign that distinguished Mr. McCain from both Mr. Bush and a Congress where he has served, in the House and the Senate, since January 1983. They said Mr. McCain would seek — sometimes explicitly, sometimes not — to distance himself by speaking critically of what he has described as excessive spending in Washington, as well on issues like the environment.
"There’s no question that the results in these special elections portend ominously for House Republicans, but they will have little impact on the presidential election campaign," said Steve Schmidt, a senior adviser to Mr. McCain.
HA! Sure; how could Republicans losing in supposedly safe districts have an impact on the electorial chances of a Republican presidential candiate who only invokes lukewarm feelings from his base? I don't know what I was thinking; it's not like Republican presidential candidates use the sucesses of their congressional counterparts to boost their chances, and vice versa.
Seriously: is this the best they have? I've seen better political stratgey from an episode of Pokemon.
Oh hold on, The Architect himself has decided to speak. Take it away, Turdboy!
Why is it tough sledding for Republicans? Public revulsion at GOP scandals was a large factor in the party's 2006 congressional defeat. Some brand damage remains, as does the downward pull of the president's approval ratings. But the principal elements are the Iraq war and a struggling economy.
Gallup's 2007 report found that fewer voters identify themselves as Republicans now than at any point in the past 20 years – despite the fact that less than a fifth of Americans agree with Mr. Obama's call to rapidly withdraw from Iraq. And while many Americans are concerned about the economy, most are satisfied with their own finances.
As Republican ranks declined, the number of independents and Democrats grew. Has the bottom been reached? It's too early to know. But Americans are acknowledging progress in Iraq, economists are suggesting the economy will be in better shape this fall, and a recent ABC/Washington Post poll found GOP identification rising.
What is clear is that John McCain and Republicans will prevail only if they convince voters that there are profound consequences at stake in Iraq, and that more and better jobs will follow from the GOP's approach of lowering taxes, opening trade, and ending earmarks and other pro-growth policies.
Republicans also face challenges with the young (whose opposition to the war and attraction to Mr. Obama have made them Democrats) and Hispanics (the fastest-growing part of the electorate). A recent survey offers some encouraging news. Mr. McCain is polling as high as 41% with Hispanics – close to President Bush's 44% in 2004.
So, Rove's idea is to play the 9-11 card, promise more tax cuts during wartime, give away more American jobs, and turn voters on each other based on race.
Well, we all know how playing the 9-11 Card works. Just take a gander at this once-prominent GOP frontrunner:
And promising more tax cuts has worked wonders for the economy, hence the federal bribes rebate checks that are being rushed out so we can head to Saks 5th Avenue, Disneyland and eBay. Also, I'm curious to see how Rove and McCain argue that we should simultaneously being trading with foreign nations while preventing their citizens from crossing our borders to look for better jobs.
As for the infamous Race Card...What? Are abortions, gay marriage and gun control out of style this election? Sheesh.
But nevertheless, Rove says that all is not well with the Democrats:
Barely half of Mrs. Clinton's supporters in Indiana, North Carolina and West Virginia say they're ready to support Mr. Obama against Mr. McCain today. Without solid support from these voters, Mr. Obama will be in trouble in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, West Virginia, Wisconsin and other battlegrounds.
So far, Mr. Obama owes his success to elites captivated by his personality. But in the general election, most folks will care more about a candidate's philosophy and stand on the issues. And what's considered mainstream values in a general election is different than in a primary.
Mr. Obama knows this, which is why he peppered his North Carolina primary night speech with culturally conservative language. And it is also why he is reaching out to Jewish voters.
Mr. Obama leads Mr. McCain 61%-32% among Jews. John Kerry won the Jewish vote 74%-25% in 2004. A weak performance for Mr. Obama could make it harder to win Michigan, Pennsylvania, Ohio or Florida. It could even put New Jersey in play.
Here we go; the "Clinton victories mark doom for Obama" riff. Apparently, Rove believes Rapture Republicans and Business Conservatives who supported Huckabee and Romney (respectively) will back Grandpa McCain, but Hillary Clinton supporters will turn their nose at Obama. And he believes this because...? Well, he doesn't say; probably because his theory is Grade A bullshit.
And that's not all:
Then there are the record low congressional approval ratings. No Congress has fallen as far and as fast as the Nancy Pelosi/Harry Reid-led House and Senate. Unlike President Bush, congressional Democrats will be on the ballot this fall, and can do little to improve their lackluster record before then. It must also be disconcerting for Ms. Pelosi that the Democrats' winning formula has meant conceding ground on guns, prayer, partial-birth abortion and other issues that matter to social conservatives.
I guess I spoke too soon; it's the "Attack a Deadlocked Congress" strategy; combined with the "People Really Want Conservative Ideas" strategy! A two-fer! Too bad that so many Republicans are retiring this fall or Rove's comments would have sounded like some good news. Or that religious groups want to be known for more than abortions and guns. Or that the reason Democrats regained a slim majority in Congress in the first place was because of their promise to end the occupation in Iraq (which hasn't happened, hence the low approval ratings) And to be honest, it's strange that Rove came to this conclusion after saying this previously:
The string of defeats should cure Republicans of the habit of simply shouting "liberal! liberal! liberal!" in hopes of winning an election.
And by "previously," I mean the fourth paragrapgh of his damn article.
But then again, it's hard to win elections with a fork in your back. So I can understand how he might have a hard time getting his message through.